If you suspect your partner is cheating, it can be tempting to throw around accusations—and maybe a dig or two—but that decreases your chances of getting an honest and productive response out of your partner, says Engler.
Instead, wait until you’re calm and can explain your concerns while emphasizing how you could handle this as a couple. In fact, research shows that talking about infidelity increases a couple’s chances of staying together post-cheat because it puts them in a better position to work through it, says Engler.
If there are specific red flags you’re worried about, bring them up in a non-confrontational way.
“If you see your partner has parents who divorced or didn’t get married, you can ask, ‘What was your reaction to that? How did it shape your thoughts about marriage?’” says Engler.
“You can also ask questions like, ‘What are you most afraid of?’ and ‘What do you most wish for regarding marriage and commitment?’” Talks like this can give you way more insight into your guy than a straight-up accusation ever could.
In a real Nigerian setting, you can ask,"Sweetie, no vex O! Please, ehn, can you explain this your relationship with this girl in your office! I really need to know and understand"
Then if you are almost 99.9% sure of your suspicions, you can politely and boldly say, "Honey, you know how much I love and respect you, but please, kindly inform that girl not to venture calling your phone or coming to your office! All transactions should be via email henceforth! Abi what do you think?!"
And if your husband should ask "Why?" Then, you reply,"It's just that I don't want blood on your hands! Or you want people to start accusing you of murder?!"
End of story. *OK bye*
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