VAGINISMUS IS AFFECTING MY MARRIAGE

Dear NHW,

Please I would like you to publish what I am about to tell you. It has been a problem for me in my marriage for 3years now until a doctor recently diagnosed my problem. I recently found out about your blog from a friend of mine and I must commend you on what you are doing because it has brought so much light in my life.

I have been married for 3years now without any issue. No one will believe me if I say I have never had sex with my husband! My friends think I have a perfect life because I have the most understanding and caring husband. Besides he has money which he showers on me. 

The problem is our sex life. I am really sad. Please don't get me wrong - I am seriously attracted to him. I even get wet when he touches me and performs other sexual activities but when it comes down to the real penetration, my vagina is so tight that  I experience immediate muscle tightness and an excruciating burning sensation. Funny enough, I don't feel pain when he fingers me. We have tried so many ways to tackle this problem, from using vaseline to bubble bath. I do not want to consider the final option which is surgery according to my doctor.

I am hoping someone out there who has suffered something similar will tell me how they cured their problem other than surgery.

I can sense my husband's patience running out and I don't want to lose him to someone else. The more bitter and angry my husband becomes, the harder it is for me to become aroused when we do fool around. I live in constant fear that he's going to cheat on me. I can't blame him, because I'm not meeting his sexual needs. Sometimes my problem is all I think about. I have migraines, nausea, and insomnia.

I eventually visited a clinical psychologist who told me that the vaginismus was probably as a result of the fact that I grew up in a home where there was constant domestic violence. True, my father was always hitting and humiliating my mother for as many years I can remember. I must confess, I hated him very much but can the hate be so bad that it will be affecting my relationship with other men despite the fact I may be attracted to them.

Please help anybody.


#My dear, don't worry. This problem can be cured and is definitely treatable. All you need to do is visit a good specialist hospital and like the clinical psychologist said, it may be your past affecting you. That you will need to deal with and fast. Time is running out so that you sef go carry ya pikin.