THE PRAYING FAMILY

Have you ever heard of the phrase,"A family that prays together stays together"? I learnt that phrase from my mother and now that I am married with children, the phrase makes a lot of sense. 

Since i got married to my husband, I have observed that the devil does not like union especially one blessed by God. In the 1st 5years of one's marriage, the devil continuously looks for ways to penetrate the home and is never at rest. The devil's mission is to scatter what God has put together. My sisters in-Christ, I am writing this piece to assure you that the devil has failed and will continue to fail if and only if you invite God into your home. 

I remember in the 1st year of my marriage, money wanted to be an issue in our lives. An amount as little as N500 to cook or as pocket money will cause problems between me and my husband. But we managed to pray our way out. This same money issue almost made me live my matrimonial home and that is when I had my first encounter with an angel. That morning, my husband had refused to drop a certain amount of money for the family and me I was fed up with his constant excuses of not having enough. So I decided to leave the marriage and he told me that if I left I shouldn't bother coming back! ( Can you imagine, that was the devil's handiwork and the fool was almost succeeding). 

I got to the office that morning and that was after I had moved my daughter and properties back to my parents' house. I am not in the usual habit of discussing my marital squabbles with my colleagues at work. So, I went on as if it were a normal day like the previous ones. An hour later, a woman walked into the office and I beckoned for her to sit down. I thought she had come to see my MD. Instead, this woman looked me in the eyes and said, "Go back home". I was shocked to hear that from her since I hadn't met her in my life. She noticed I was wondering how she knew because I had not discussed anything with anyone. "Go back. They are trying to push you out! If you don't go back, then you have been defeated", she went on to say. " Are you a Christian?" "Yes", I replied. "When you get home, pray in every corner of your house and sprinkle Holy Water around. And lastly, never leave your home for things you can resolve", the lady said. I thanked her and that was the last I ever saw of her. She hadn't even come to see the MD as I had initially thought. Immediately, I left the office to call my husband and to my utmost surprise, he answered me calmly. I asked him when he would be home and he said soon. 

I did exactly as the lady had instructed and when my husband got back, I didn't allow him to say a word until we had both prayed joining our hands together. Till date, I don't know where that ill wind that almost destroyed my home came from, if not for prayer. 

I know sometimes its difficult to pray together as a family due to work schedule or the fact that you may have a spiritually lazy spouse. It is still important to ensure that the bond in the family is not broken by still making time out to pray even if it is once a week or while driving the kids to school.

Some families think that the devil in their villages maybe the ones holding back their progress or the happiness in their homes but it is actually them who have refused to invite God into their homes.

A home that has God in it is like the 'Model Home' that everyone wishes to have or imbibe. They sail through problems without the whole world knowing. God protects them from evil and sickness. They are always happy despite their adversities. 

So therefore, I implore all my sisters in-Christ, no matter the situation or condition, please take time to pray with your family. Stay blessed.

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THE 'WAITING' ROOM

The 'Waiting Room'! I have always heard those words growing up as a child but I never in my wildest dream ever thought I would be in it and back! Yes O! I was in the queue for 3 years until God decided to answer me.

Let me give you a graphic imagination of what the waiting room is like: I would liken it to a doctor's consultation room where while you are consulting with your doctor, another patient interrupts. The doctor puts you on hold so as to attend to the patient that just came in. That is how it is when you wait for many years for God to bless you with the fruit of the womb and then you ask "How is it that God chooses to answer some people faster than the other?" Is it because they pray more? I don't think so. I think God in His infinite goodness knows our different situation and therefore answers us accordingly.

I am such a person whom God chose to answer faster than others who had been waiting for more than donkey years. God is indeed awesome. Sometimes, I look at my children and can't believe they are mine.

You see, in those I waited in the 'waiting room', I learnt a lot about God. And I think that was what God wanted from me. He wanted me and my husband to love Him unconditionally. He had put my faith to the test and I passed with flying colors( I guess:-) ). God wanted to know if I would still love Him and serve Him despite not having children. 

While I and my husband waited, our marriage was threatened. We would have countless baseless arguments and quarrels, looking for who to blame for our present situation, even though the doctors had told us we were perfectly okay. At a time, my husband wanted to blame for the abortions I had carried out in my youthful days and I wanted to blame him for the numerous women he had dealings with in the past. We had a lot of interferences, ranging from his mother to my mother, his female siblings, our close friends. It seemed as if we were been monitored! But you see, these people meant no harm but showed their concern in their own funny way, hurting us unknowingly.

Going for naming ceremonies...OMG! These were the hardest. We would leave the party earlier than normal so as to mask our sadness. At a point, we stopped going. It seemed as if we were jealous (yeah, maybe a teeny-weeny bit). 

I remember those nights that I and my husband would cry out to God in pain and anguish, asking for His mercy. But still God did not answer us! 

The craziest thing I and my husband had ever planned to do while waiting was to go out of our marriage and test our fertility. Yes O! The temptation was there but our faith did not allow us do it. We knew the punishment from God will be worse than what we were facing. So we didn't try Him. We have had friends that have suggested to take us to seek spiritual help ( if you know what I mean). Our level of desperation was so high that we were ready to do anything to have that child. 

By the end of the 2nd year of our marriage, we had almost given up the hope of ever having our child. The thought of adopting a child as suggested by some friends, was out rightly repulsive ( can you imagine, I detested the thought of taking care of God's own child and yet I wanted him to give us ours). 

Sometimes, as Christians, we need to slow down and ask God what He really wants from us because I believe everyone has a purpose on earth. But man in his selfish pursuit of what he wants is not interested in consulting with God first.

During the period of my being in the 'waiting room', God showed me different people in similar situation... Searching for child and during this time, I learnt a number of life lessons.

I met a family who had just loved a beloved wife of their son. They had been married for about 11years without child. God finally answered them but their joy was soon short lived because his and the unborn child never lived to see the light of day. I asked God if it was not His will for the woman to get pregnant talk less of having a child. Did the woman bother God so much that God eventually gave into her demands knowing the implication of her request? At that point, I decided to let God's will be done. LESSON NO 1. 

I met another couple who had been looking for a child for 8 years. We were 2 other couples gisting when our counsellor asked one odd question, "All of you looking for children, if God gave you a retarded child, would you accept?" Immediately, other couples rejected it saying "God-forbid". But how can God forbid his own child?!  I didn't reply because that was food for thought. We all want children but we don't want abnormal ones. Every child was created for a purpose but only God knows that purpose. Every child is a gift from God. Every child is a blessing from God. LESSON NO 2   

Finally, I met another couple who had been married for 15years and no child. They finally agreed to adopt a daughter. Guess what? Within 1 year of adoption, the couple had their very first own child! God must have smiled at the steps they took in adopting a child and decided to use that child to bless them with their own. Adoption is a sure test of unconditional love. LESSON NO 3 learnt.

Everyone has an experience to share when it comes to 'Tales of Infertility' but one thing I and my husband have been able to gather from ours is that it is definitely a true test of one's faith in God. It is a journey that could make or mar your relationship with God. You will see the face of God. 

I end my story by asking couples in the 'waiting room' the same questions we were asked," Are you saying you cannot love each other without the icing on the cake which is the baby? Is the thought of adoption so bad you wouldn't even consider it?"

The same God who gave me 2 beautiful kids will also do the same for you. Amen. 

N.B : please send your stories to naijahousewife@gmail.com. You can now follow us on twitter@naijahousewife.

FEEDING ALLOWANCE

I have a very stubborn husband. He has refused to upgrade this feeding money. Since we got married 7 yrs ago, it is the same N5,000 he started with that he is still giving up till today.

I mentioned this problem to my friend and she laughed at me calling me a fool. "So you are telling me that each time he gives u that kind of money, you actually collect it!", she says with sarcasm. Of course I do or you want my kids to starve? She looks at me in dismay. "So you want to tell me that all these delicacies you give him day in day out for a whole month amounts to N5,000?" ....You know this my friend has a point. I am sure in my husband's mind, he thinks I have a lot of money since I never complain. And to make matters worse or worst sef, the kind of soup I give him contains all you can imagine, all in the name of making your husband happy. How about me the spender?! May be he thinks foodstuffs are priced at N1 each.

My friend tells me how she feeds her  husband according to how much he leaves. I asked her, "Then what happens to the remaining days?". "Dry fasting naa ni!". Aah! "Yes ke! When he is tired of fasting, he then brings out money! Meanwhile, I make sure my kids are well taken care of during that time. And when I know he is almost home, I set them in the parlour and tell them to put on hungry faces!". This my friend you are harsh. She tells me that that is the only way they will learn. How many things will a woman do?

My God I have to be sharp. Now I have decided to ignore repairing any appliance in the house.

Even if we decide to do it 50/50...I know the husband I married, he will still cheat me and leave me half way to continue feeding the house.

Please I want to ask one question. Why is it that when some husbands notice their wives have a regular source of income, they shy away from their duties of providing money for the family's upkeep.

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