CONFESSIONS OF AN EX-MISTRESS

Wives, are you holidaying with a cheat this summer? Do you suspect your husband has another woman waiting for him at home while you are away?

This is a firsthand insight into how a cheating spouse operates at this time of year, and the signs to look for if you think you're married to one.

Wives, girlfriends and fiancées beware. What follows is a brutally honest trip inside the world of infidelity - one no man will want you to read...

 

Think of this article as akin to reading the safety instructions on the plane before take-off. You probably won't need them, you pray you never will, but you always take a look 'just in case!'  

During this hot spell we're having, spare a thought for your typical cheating married man (from now on to be referred to as a CMM) as we are about to enter a very difficult time of year for him: a time when he'll need all his wits about him as he knows he'll be under his wife's microscope while away from home, and this will stress him out no end.

At this time of year any CMM worth his salt knows he has to keep strong communication going with his mistress while he is on vacation, so that she will still be there waiting for him when he gets back from his 'intense' family time.  

After all, the poor guy will need some release and  good times after being alone with that dreaded wife he alleges he has nothing in common with (don't shoot the messenger, I am just telling you what they say).

So wives, I recommend you watch your husband's movements closely this holiday. 

If he has to keep popping out to 'call the office,' be aware, and check his last numbers dialled. If he wants some alone time, or decides to seek out day membership at the local golf club, be sure to look for bills and receipts of where he has been, as the typical CMM will make up any excuse just to get away and spend hours on the phone with his mistress. 

If he needs to be alone then it could well be to have lengthy chats with his other woman, who, mark my words, will be giving him immense flack for being away with you and leaving her for so long.  

How do I know this? Because I used to be that other woman. Now, as a reformed mistress (I have been straight for nearly five years) and as Founder of Wife School, I urge you all to live in the truth.

If you have any doubts about your man's fidelity, read on. If it turns out you have a squeaky clean man, then congratulations. He's a keeper and make sure you appreciate him. 

If it turns out you don't, then I'm about to save you unlimited heartache and humiliation, because remember, a man can only cheat for as long as his other half allows him to get away with it.

Let me share a true story with you to highlight just why this is the prime time of year to catch a straying spouse. 

A friend of mine has recently started an affair with a married man. She phoned me last week to tell me how excited she was about it and give me all the details (and no, I don't agree with it, let me make that clear) she ended recounting the story by telling me that at their last dinner assignation, he had announced that he was going away three days later on a two-week Caribbean cruise with his wife (yes, that same wife he'd told her over dinner that he was so unhappy with, the one who didn't understand him, and of course the one whom he never sleeps with). 

He had assured my friend that he would text her and call her from the cruise as much as he possibly could. He also thanked her for being in his life, because the thought of having her to come home to would help him 'get through the lengthy trip'.

Listening to this, my eyes weren't just rolling by now, they were practically spinning out of their sockets. But could this be you? Could you be that Cruise Liner Wife?

I chose to open with a real life story as I don't want you to think I'm making any of this up. 

And, as I take you deeper inside the real world of summer vacation infidelity, be glad I only gave you that PG rated story, as I could have told you about the mistress who wrote to tell me she was on the same cruise as her married boyfriend and his wife. 

Yes that's right, the charmer had booked her a cabin on the actual cruise that he was on with his wife and young family. 

Thus giving him options when his wife had had a little too much sun and sangria and needed her afternoon siesta. 

There are also those married men who book hotels for their mistress to stay in, located just up the road from where they and the family are staying.  

Shocking yes, but trust me, I know, because I've been there. I've also been in my friends' shoes many times. So I know of what I speak.

I've waited for those sacred texts and calls from somebody else's husband.

I've had calls from a married man who took the wife and kids to Disneyland Paris on vacation, where he promptly feigned everything from having to take conference calls to having an upset stomach in order not to accompany them on any rides, and thus be alone to have the opportunity to call me. Often. 

Sadly I had to listen to him drone on about how bad a time he was having (yawn) but still, you get my point? Not fair to either woman, wife nor mistress.

I also had him call me from a family wedding party in Madrid (he had escaped to the toilets to call me and told his wife he had become lost in the hotel while looking for them) and also another charmer who called me from an exclusive five-star hotel in Santa Barbara, to tell me how bored he was there on his idyllic family getaway, and how he wished I was there.  

So whilst you don't need to like me, you do need to listen to me. I'm not proud about my intel and how I got it, and I am certainly not boasting, I am simply sharing. I am not preaching, I am teaching. 

Teaching women to say no to the married man, and the wife to take more interest in his whereabouts.  

Knowledge is power, and I work with women every single day, empowering them to live in the truth. Think of me as a whistleblower, here to expose the cheating man's dirty tactics and clever lies.  If we can all work together as a sisterhood, there will be no room for cheats in our lives.

The first thing you need to know about the cheating married man on vacation is that he is man with a lot on his shoulders. When he is having an affair he has to juggle two women, and their expectations of him, keen not to let either down, wanting to keep both parties happy.  

Now, when a CMM is on vacation, he is out of his natural habitat. He is away from home, and away from the plethora of excuses he normally readily uses. 

Things such as popping to the gym, working late at the office, going for a round of golf, or a round of drinks, with the boys, just won't wash when he is trapped in a two bedroom family apartment on the Costa Del Sol.  But while he may be on his family holiday, a time for rest and relaxation with the people he loves, he will also be most keen to work hard at keeping his mistress happy, as he needs to make sure she is still keen and waiting for him when he does get home. 

Any mistress will tell you this is a hellish time of year for them, but also one where they heap loads of pressure on their married lovers. Pressure to call, text, email from wherever he is, giving him lots of grief if he doesn't. In fact, in hindsight, I can see why some married men do take their mistresses on holiday with them. It probably saves them a lot of effort, and a lot on international phone calls! 

So wives, knowing that a CMM has to work hard to keep you and another woman happy while he is away, your work is almost done for you, as all you need to do is sit back, relax, and watch his behaviour.

Lastly, and I can't emphasis this enough, if you are suspicious to begin with then this is a major red flag. Women were born with stellar gut instincts. Use them! Don't bury your heads in the sand this summer, as all you'll get by doing that is sand in your hair.  

With so many celebrity men cheating these days, and some of their mistresses even choosing to have their "lovechild", my message is that all wives need to be extra vigilant.

So sisters, enjoy your vacations. Be safe and alert, but not paranoid. But remember, if you ever do confront your man about infidelity suspicions, or things you are not comfortable with, and his reaction is to make you feel small, or stupid for asking, or if he belittles you in any way, then this is usually a very guilty man. 

Conversely, if you have an honest, decent man, whom you are possibly accusing of cheating, then he will go out of his way to let you know you are wrong, and to prove to you he is a trustworthy and loyal man, showing you how much he loves you and appreciates you. I pray you all have the latter in your life.  

The only way is loyalty.

Wow! May God help we women O!

Thank you Sarah Symonds for sharing this lovely piece!