FELLOW WIVES, YOUR HAPPINESS LIES IN YOUR HANDS

Yesterday, while hanging out with a cool friend, she asked a disturbing question, "Why do women hate each other? Why all the beefing?" I laughed and replied,"It's in our genes to beef! It's what makes us women! Some carry out their frustrations on other happy women!"

What I would like to say to my fellow women and wives is that your happiness lies in your hands. You need to learn to love and appreciate your self. Nobody can do that for. And it is not until you start the process of loving yourself will you start seeing the good in others.

Your husband does not have the key to your happiness. Neither does your family members and friends.

For starters, ask yourself genuinely what is really the problem? Why am I not happy? What are the things I really need to put in order in my life? Is it my home, my spiritual life, my finances, my academic life...take it one by one. Do not leave any stone unturned. You can only achieve this when you create a quiet time for yourself. Really!

Secondly, is there some fellow woman you admire or wish to be like! Please quit hating that person for who she is. Give that person a compliment and let that person know you admire her in all aspects. Pick up the courage and ask her how she makes her life appear so beautiful.

One thing we women must know is that "Man is not an island" and we can only improve ouselves with the help of others.

Remember, problems will always be there. It can never finish but if care is not taken, those problems can finish you. Invite God into your life. It is only Him, I repeat only Him that can uplift one's burden. Don't make your problems especially family matters a point of public discussion.

I must say I live a sort of selfish life in the sense that Me Comes First! *sorry, no apologies* I have to ensure that I am happy before I make you happy. Is it possible to give what you don't have?

Finally, I would like to share with you the secret of my happiness (take it or leave it, na you saka!)
1. Be thankful to the One who created you (especially for being alive and well. That means there is a chance of a better tomorrow)
2. Be appreciative and grateful for what you get everyday (it could have been worse)
3. Be content (stop comparing your lives with other peoples' own...you do not know the whole story. People will only show you what they want you to see which is the good side!)
4. Pay compliments. Learn to say nice things to people and watch them smile. It's a good and godly thing to do. (When you start this, you will see your life transform magically, in and outwards)
5. Take care of your physical appearance...No compromise! From your hair to your skin to your clothes. If you have no clue, watch The Style Network or and start buying fashion magazines! You like it so go get it! No dulling! If your church does not permit good looks, leave that church and go to the one that permits it because you will just end up hating those women who are living the kind of life you want! #truthbetold
6. Have quiet moments you and you alone.
7. Do not be excessive in all things. Moderation is the key.
8. Life is about winning some and losing some. You can't always be a winner.
9. Hang out with positive people.

Love Life, Live Life! (with God by your side O!)

Love you guys. Peace.

"PUNISHMENT" FROM HUSBANDS!!

Still beats me why husbands do what they do! Like you attend a party with your hussy where there is soooo much food and drink, you watch him eating all the delicacies till he is 'fed up'! And you think to yourself,"thank God,I won't have to cook tonite"
It's really late and all you are thinking about is when you will get home and give your bed and pillow some 'good loving'..

*Fast forward*....you both get home and you are almost racing towards your 'lovers',you suddenly hear those most-dreaded-words-at-that-point-in-time "Iya,what's for dinner abeg?!" You stop suddenly in your tracks trying so hard to assimilate what you just heard and or if you even heard anything at all! When you finally get yourself, you look at the person that just issued the order and then at your clock.
You have no other option but to obey before complain since you already know its a lost battle. *sigh* or abi you want 'Ekaete' to do it for you and even more.

#marriage is overrated...*long hiss!*

MIS-DELIVERED LOVENOTE!

Thought this only happened in Nigeria!

A police officer killed herself after writing a text to a colleague thanking him for a "wonderful date" - but accidentally sent it to her husband.Reportedly,Gail Crocker, aged 46, spent an evening out with her colleague officer, while her husband was on a business trip. She told the officer "wish we could do this more often."

An inquest heard the pair rowed when he arrived home in St Stephen, Cornwall. The next day Gail, the mother of 2, took an overdose of pills and climbed into the boot of her car.She was found dead on June 15. Her husband of 30 years, Peter Crocker, 49, said: "She was my life."

You know, they should have just agreed to an open marriage!...if the woman was so bored!

INCEST, NA CURSE O!

A twenty-four-year-old man, Ndifreke Uko, has allegedly impregnated his younger sister, Otobong Uko.

The residents of Ikang Etta Street in Calabar Municipality of Cross River State got shocked when they heard the news of such an incident, as they could not fathom why the two siblings engaged in such incestuous act.

"My brother has been having regular intercourse with me until I suddenly realized what the whole thing was all about. And when I noticed it, I told my father, but he advised me not to make it public, until three months after I realized that I had missed my period," the poor girl narrated her ordeal.

It has been also learnt that the same Ndifrek had allegedly impregnated one of his sisters some years back, but the further details were rather sketchy and controversial.

Neighbours of the compound did not share their reactions with the journalists, however, it has been gathered that property belonging to the Uko family had been thrown out.

*Na  wah o!*

CARELESSNESS OF MOTHERS

Na wah o! Speechless!!...

A three-year-old boy drowned his newborn twin brother and left the other permanently brain damaged as he tried to bathe them while his alcoholic mother slept.

The boy said he wanted to make his siblings 'nice and clean' after their mother passed out having drunk four cans of super-strength lager.

The shocking sequence of events emerged in court when the mother, whose identity cannot be disclosed for legal reasons, was given a one-year suspended prison sentence for neglect.

She had sought refuge at a Merseyside home with her children after escaping a relationship of domestic violence, Liverpool Crown Court heard on December 5, 2013, Thursday.

The jury heard she slept in a single bed with her eldest son, with the newborn babies cradled together in a drawer.

The mother, an insomniac, fell asleep in the afternoon after drinking four cans of Special Brew, which is nine per cent alcohol.

The toddler woke up and ran a 10-inch bath of cold water. The mother found her infant children naked and unconscious, not breathing, when she awoke.

The mother called police and paramedics, telling a 999 operator that she had found her newborn twins unresponsive.

Both babies were given CPR and were taken to Alder Hey Children's Hospital in West Derby, Liverpool, where they were put on life support.

Days later, one of the boys died in his father's arms. His brother, who suffered a cardiac arrest, was left with severe brain damage.

She was handed a one-year prison sentence, suspended for two years, and a supervision order after pleading guilty to three counts of neglect.

The judge described the mother as 'in general terms, a loving and caring mother who understands the duties and responsibility of motherhood'.

She added: 'Your real punishment will lie in the images that will stay with you, possibly permanently, of what happened that day.

May God help us.

CHILD STEALERS THAT POSE AS 'FRIENDS'

A health worker in Bokkos Local Government Area of Plateau State is on the run after allegedly stealing a one-week old baby from her mother while posing to be a well wisher.

The suspect (name withheld) was reported to have disappeared with the baby whom she offered to carry while the mother's stitches were being removed at the clinic. The mother had been delivered of the baby through Caesarian section a week before.

A family member said the suspect had visited the house with new clothes for the baby and later offered to accompany the mother who was on her way to the clinic to remove her stitches.

The unsuspecting mother agreed to go with her and left her child with the fleeing suspect as she went in to be attended to at the clinic. However, the suspect had disappeared with the baby by the time she was through.

She reportedly asked those around of the whereabouts of the woman but no one had any useful information. She eventually raised alarm and people joined in the search for the suspect but she was nowhere to be found.

The theft of the baby has thrown the family and the area into despair with many describing the incident as strange in the area.

Interim Administrator of Bokkos Local Government, Mrs. Hanatu Dantong has, meanwhile, visited the family to sympathise with them, promising to work with security men for the recovery of the missing baby.

According to her, "this thing affects the whole of us. There is no way we will sit down in office and say we don't have anything to do with the case. This thing is not good for our image, that is why we came immediately the matter got to us to sympathize with the family."

She called for prayers towards the recovery of the baby and advised parents to be wary of people who come around posing as friends as they might have evil intentions.

Father of the stolen baby, Mr. Mahana Zachariah, said it was shocking that someone would be so heartless to steal a week old baby, adding: "I hear this type of stories and read about them but now it has happened in my house."

He thanked the administrator for the visit, describing it as encouraging.

DNA TEST, THE TRENDING LAB INVESTIGATION!

Lol! Na so we see am O! See wetin some wifeys don cause now, even our husbands who have been our one and only from time immemorial are now doubting if our kids are truly theirs.

If you ask the women why they decided to have the babies from other men, they will tell you that they were trying to cover up their husbands' shame! If you ask the men whether the sanctions on their wives would have reduced if the women had taken permission from them to have sperm donation, they will answer "Are they even supposed to go out at all?!"

Wetin I wan ask be say (pls note that I am not taking sides O), all those men who have been married for donkey years without any child and who go out to have babies with other women, una dey take permission from your wife? Meanwhile, it would have been common knowledge that the fault is from the woman. The wife is expected to stomach and manage for another extra 10 or more years! *speechless*

Mind you...I am not taking sides...#just asking!

It happened to my friend who had been married for 11yrs without any child. Then all of a sudden her 'faithful' husband just dropped one bombshell that a woman just had a child for him! He even dropped the picture of the baby on the bed, acting as if everything he did and was doing was normal. She ran to me devastated. Me sef. I was just raking and releasing fire! I asked her what she will do and she shock me when she said nothing that her husband's child is her child! I respect am immediately.

Meanwhile, see the case of husband. Let him venture to find out that 1 child is not his, the wife go find her load outside! Why can't her child or children be yours?! Who go lose? Wind go blow and fowl yansh go expose!

Like I said, I am not taking sides. Some people just no go get this statement? Read and make ya own judgement.

Ehen...like I was saying...Where is the justice and fairness in marriage. Why do men live for the 'better' and not for the 'worse'?

So please my advice to all husbands in this potential situation, think very hard and twice before you throw your wife's load out! And dear wives, please try to take permission from your husband before you play away match. Tell him what you told me, that it is because you want to cover his shame.

May God help us all in the decisions we make. Amen.

#Imagine what that money for DNA test will do for you and your newly acquired family. Look at it as...Adoption. Remember Adoption is not a sin or a crime.

VAGINISMUS IS AFFECTING MY MARRIAGE

Dear NHW,

Please I would like you to publish what I am about to tell you. It has been a problem for me in my marriage for 3years now until a doctor recently diagnosed my problem. I recently found out about your blog from a friend of mine and I must commend you on what you are doing because it has brought so much light in my life.

I have been married for 3years now without any issue. No one will believe me if I say I have never had sex with my husband! My friends think I have a perfect life because I have the most understanding and caring husband. Besides he has money which he showers on me. 

The problem is our sex life. I am really sad. Please don't get me wrong - I am seriously attracted to him. I even get wet when he touches me and performs other sexual activities but when it comes down to the real penetration, my vagina is so tight that  I experience immediate muscle tightness and an excruciating burning sensation. Funny enough, I don't feel pain when he fingers me. We have tried so many ways to tackle this problem, from using vaseline to bubble bath. I do not want to consider the final option which is surgery according to my doctor.

I am hoping someone out there who has suffered something similar will tell me how they cured their problem other than surgery.

I can sense my husband's patience running out and I don't want to lose him to someone else. The more bitter and angry my husband becomes, the harder it is for me to become aroused when we do fool around. I live in constant fear that he's going to cheat on me. I can't blame him, because I'm not meeting his sexual needs. Sometimes my problem is all I think about. I have migraines, nausea, and insomnia.

I eventually visited a clinical psychologist who told me that the vaginismus was probably as a result of the fact that I grew up in a home where there was constant domestic violence. True, my father was always hitting and humiliating my mother for as many years I can remember. I must confess, I hated him very much but can the hate be so bad that it will be affecting my relationship with other men despite the fact I may be attracted to them.

Please help anybody.


#My dear, don't worry. This problem can be cured and is definitely treatable. All you need to do is visit a good specialist hospital and like the clinical psychologist said, it may be your past affecting you. That you will need to deal with and fast. Time is running out so that you sef go carry ya pikin.

LONELY WIVES CLUB (PART 3)

Many people -- married or single -- are alone without being lonely, while others are lonely without being alone. Which is it for you? Alone simply means there's no other human there right now, but it doesn't hurt. People who are alone often lead full social lives by staying connected with friends and relatives, as well as enjoying their time on their own. Lonely people, however, feel a sense of emptiness or rejection on a regular basis. Alone feels okay; lonely feels uncomfortable.

"Loneliness is a part of life," says Dr. Schwartz, "If people expect others to solve it for them, they'll be disappointed. Loneliness only becomes a problem when not enough is communicated in a relationship."

But how can you tell the difference between expecting too much, having a truly troubled relationship, or rooting out some other problem that's justly yours to solve, such as having unrealistic expectations of your partnership or being an isolated, lonely person generally? Copeland, who has done extensive studies in loneliness, says that "people who are lonely are often uncomfortable being with themselves. It's a sign of low self-esteem," she says. Symptoms may include desperately needing company at all times, feeling rejected when alone, and postponing decisions or entertainment until a companion shows up. If being alone itself makes you feel lonely, this could be the problem. And it often isn't solved by being with someone else. It also may not suggest that your partnership itself is in trouble. It may mean that you simply need to find ways to solve the sense of isolation you feel, partner or not.

Dr. Schwartz suggests speaking with a friend or a counselor to clarify whether or not you're suffering from other issues. "For example, it could feel like loneliness," she says, "but maybe you're depressed because the kids have left, or your job isn't what you thought."

In the final series of 'LONELY WIVES CLUB', we will bring to you tips on how to tackle loneliness in your marriage.

LONELY WIVES CLUB (PART 2)

Why You Feel Lonely

Dr. Schwartz says that some feelings of loneliness can be caused by the normal post-courtship phase. "During courtship, a man is very interested in a woman. He thinks of ways to woo her." This naturally goes away, she says, when the relationship enters what she calls the maintenance phase -- when the thrill of courtship and even early years of marriage gives way to the reality of everyday life together.

Maintenance need not mean marital misery. It's just a new phase in the relationship, Dr. Schwartz says, and it may be the longest-lasting phase of the relationship or partnership. It can be a time when each partner develops or nurtures other friendships or other activities, and the partners come together lovingly but with less feverish passion.

"It gets even more intimate," says Dr. Schwartz, "The layers of the onion are stripped -- you start telling each other the not-so-good stuff with the good stuff. And the original passion returns intermittently."

Once we get married, we expect that we're not going to be alone anymore. That's unrealistic, and those spaces in togetherness are good and healthy. They enrich the relationship," says Mary Ellen Copeland, author of The Loneliness Workbook (New Harbinger, 2000).

Some relationships, though, are riddled with troubles that make one spouse or the other feel lonely. Says Dr. Schwartz: "If a partner hasn't noticed that you're depressed or sick, that's a problem. If a partner notices and doesn't care, that's also a problem."

"Being under emotional attack," Schwartz adds, also can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, no matter how mild the attack may be. Emotional abuse is not all sticks and stones. If your partner has withdrawn emotional or financial support, or puts you down in public or in private, you would naturally feel lonely. But calling it mere loneliness, says Dr. Schwartz, "is often easier than taking a hard look at your marriage." Maybe you're not ready to do that yet.

No two relationships are alike, but discussing your marital issues with a friend "might give you the perspective that you're asking for too much. You might discover that if your husband takes you out every Saturday night, for example, you're actually doing pretty well," says Dr. Schwartz. You may find out that other wives give attention to get more attention. "On the other hand," she says, "if you're attentive and you're being treated like a piece of wood, that's a problem."

TO BE CONTINUED

WHICH IS THE REAL WESSON?

A friend brought this to my notice yesterday. Now everyone is buying cholesterol-free oil, some evil people are trying to take advantage of the situation! Dem go put engine oil and call it 'cholesterol-free oil'!

I believe 'Wesson Canola oil' is a common one that most people go for. But see nah, the containers are different or dem don change to new container?

Please can anyone verify the Wesson container? Which is real and which is fake?

LONELY WIVES CLUB (PART 1)

Do you feel married but single? Do you feel like a co-tenant in your matrimonial home? Your husband feels like a 'he is just there' kind of person. Day in day out, you guys don't really talk let alone your husband asking you how your day was! You might just be a member of  LONELY WIVES CLUB!! Hehehe!

I stumbled on this article and thought I should share (Na only God go help me make I no fall one day as I dey so so stumble stumble!). The article will be in three parts...Let me know if you like it and then I will send in the remaining ones.

Whether your man is away on business, plays a lot of golf, or -- worse yet -- is just sitting there and not connecting with you, relationships can seem mighty lonely at times. Perhaps you feel like a place holder in his life. The kids are taken care of, the house is clean, dates are made to see friends, but you don't feel he hears you when you talk, or empathizes with your problems, or supports you in your dreams and plans. Perhaps you don't do things together, or you always do what he wants to do, or you feel you've wasted hours in front of bad television.

"One reason loneliness is so common," says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of five books on love and relationships, and professor of sociology at the University of Washington, "is that women are used to the level of communication you get from girlfriends." she says. "Girlfriends listen with interest and compassion. No matter how good a guy is, the comparison with female companionship is so pale that women feel alone. And we have such romantic expectations. We tried to find a soul mate, but we're often so far from that."

But there are solutions short of divorce. First, try to define why you feel lonely. Are you lonely because your guy isn't around? Or do you feel isolated even when he is? In either scenario, understanding the reasons for the loneliness is Step One.

You want more?

NAIJA PARENTS, DO YOU AGREE?

I saw this article while browsing through the internet and thought i should share with you guys.

Five-year-olds who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and break rules later in elementary school, Today reports. According to a study published in Pediatrics, there was no link between spanking by parents at age 3 and children's later behavior. However, kids who were spanked at age 5 were more likely to score lower on vocabulary tests, act out more, and be more aggressive. "We know that spanking doesn't work, we know that yelling doesn't work. Timeout is kind of a mixed bag," says Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin. However, "We know that reasoning does work," she says.

If truth be told, there are some children that are soooo stubborn as in they no dey hear word. If you don't 'touch' their body, they will remain stubborn! Meanwhile, ever heard the word "Spare the rod and Spoil the child"...

Talking is good and too much beating is not good. Therefore, a mixture of both is not a bad idea sha but more of talking (with a dash of abuse, lol!). Me, I want the type of child that will understand my English language, body language and sign language sef! If not, it will 'rain' on that child O!

I always thought that if one beats a child too much, the child will end up being hard and wicked! I don't know about the 'aggressive' part!

Ex-footballer Discovers 3 Children With Wife Of 20-Years Are Not His!!

After over 20 years of marriage, former Ghana International footballer, Nii Ordartey Lamptey, has just shockingly discovered that all 3 children he has fathered all these years with his wife are not his biological children.

The footballer made this shocking revelation during an interview on radio when he was asked why he and his wife were getting divorced.

"I thought they were my children but upon a DNA test, I got to know that they are not my biological children. The issue is in court so I’m pleading, because it is a legal issue I don’t want to go through so many things, but I am 100% sure that the children are not mine after 20-years of marriage. We had five children but two passed away so we were left with only 3 and they are not mine," Odartey said.

According to report, his wife known as Gloria Lamptey (pictured below) is claiming her husband, Odartey is infertile and he was the one who suggested they use artificial insemination. A claim Lamptey denies.

However, a source close to the former footballer said he'd on several occasions caught his wife cheating on him but stayed with her because of his love for her and the businesses they own together.

The estranged couple are now in court.

During Nii Odartey Lamptey’s career, he played as a striker from 1990 until 2008 notably for Aston Villa, PSV Eindhoven, Coventry City and the Ghana national football team.

*What I want to ask is that why do couples do this?! When one spouse has issues with fertility, the other one go go outside come score goal?!*

No be today, the matter start! By the way, if anyone is suspecting that his children are not his, abeg, no forget to knack us tory for hia!!

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/53227.html

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/53227.html

THE BEST FRUIT SNACK EVER FOR YOUR KIDS!

Trust me mummies and daddies, when I say this is the best  source of vitamins especially vitamin C for your kids.

We know how difficult it is to get our kids to consume fruits and veggies, but not to worry, I have the ultimate solution...WELCH'S FRUIT SNACK!!!

WELCH'S FRUIT SNACK is made from a complete blend of real mixed fruits(grape, pear,peach and pineapple) and fruit purees(strawberry,raspberry,orange and grape). It contains 100% vitamin C and 25% vitamins A and E.

The funniest part is that it is made in form of all those 'gummy bear' like sweets and so they keep reaching out for more. The more they eat, the healthier they are! Your child will be free from yama yama  disease. You will be guaranteed a healthier appetite. It can be used for faster healing of wounds, even boil sef!

So good bye to all those fake so-called 'white vitamin C' or 'orange vitamin C'!

It's available in good superstores but if you are having a hard time getting it, you can mail me at naijahousewife@gmail.com or text me on 08185553713.

N.B I am not marketing for anybody please O! I just want parents to be happy with their children's health and wellbeing. So this info is for those that need it.

CLUES YOU MAY BE ATTRACTED TO THE WRONG PERSON

This post is for all my unmarried sisters in a budding relationship. Please, you need to take time to shine your eyes!

Don't settle for less just because you want to answer 'Mrs'. I have taken time to research answers to some of your questions. Feel free to share your comments.

Enjoy your read....

People are wired to respond positively to being tantalized. The smell of buttered popcorn as you stroll into a movie theater. The jingle of coins from slot machines as you walk through a casino. The promise of flattering attention and acceptance from advertisements about the latest fashion. But, of course, not all that catches our attention is good for us.

The same is true of the come hither look of a sexy man or woman. Or even the cat-and-mouse games that so often entice people into relationships. So, it’s
important to know when you are attracted to the wrong person. You might need
to think twice if the person:

-Has no close friends: Even if his or her acquaintances abound, pay attention
to the lack of emotionally close relationships. While there might be a good
reason for this emotional isolation, it would be in your best interests to be
alert to this possible sign of the person having difficulty with intimacy.

-Lacks insight about him- or herself: Someone who does not understand and
cannot (or will not) articulate their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs will be
limited in their ability to share in an open, emotionally connected way.

-Fails to acknowledge mistakes or limitations: Beware of someone who is
defensive and unable to tolerate acknowledging their part in difficulties in
their life and in their relationships. Just as they are unable to accept their
own flaws, they will be unlikely to accept yours – making it difficult to work
out problems and differences between you.

-Is a poor communicator: Because good communication is the hallmark of
emotionally close relationships, poor communicators have difficulty nurturing
such relationships. They also lack the skills to talk through disagreements.

-Fails to show you respect and appreciation: Without these basics, no
relationship can possibly make you happy.

-Fails to show an interest in getting to know you: Even after the initial
exciting days of a relationship, partners in healthy, happy relationships
continue to show an interest in (and are supportive of) each other’s
thoughts, feelings, interests, and activities.

-Is not ready for a relationship: Healthy long-term relationships are created
through caring and effort. This means that both partners must be prepared
to give the relationship the time and attention it needs to flourish.

By recognizing that the person who looked like a “great catch” is, in reality, not
such a great choice for you, you can avoid many frustrations. You won’t end up
wasting your time in a situation that likely won’t come out well. It also enables
you to move on quickly, giving you an opportunity to find the partner of your
dreams, rather than getting stuck in a recurring nightmare.

Now, do you get the picture?!

Culled from WebMD

HOW TO HANDLE SUSPICIONS OF INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

If you suspect your partner is cheating, it can be tempting to throw around accusations—and maybe a dig or two—but that decreases your chances of getting an honest and productive response out of your partner, says Engler.

Instead, wait until you’re calm and can explain your concerns while emphasizing how you could handle this as a couple. In fact, research shows that talking about infidelity increases a couple’s chances of staying together post-cheat because it puts them in a better position to work through it, says Engler.

If there are specific red flags you’re worried about, bring them up in a non-confrontational way.

“If you see your partner has parents who divorced or didn’t get married, you can ask, ‘What was your reaction to that? How did it shape your thoughts about marriage?’” says Engler.

“You can also ask questions like, ‘What are you most afraid of?’ and ‘What do you most wish for regarding marriage and commitment?’” Talks like this can give you way more insight into your guy than a straight-up accusation ever could.

In a real Nigerian setting, you can ask,"Sweetie, no vex O! Please, ehn, can you explain this your relationship with this girl in your office! I really need to know and understand"

Then if you are almost 99.9% sure of your suspicions, you can politely and boldly say, "Honey, you know how much I love and respect you, but please, kindly inform that girl not to venture calling your phone or coming to your office! All transactions should be via email henceforth! Abi what do you think?!"

And if your husband should ask "Why?" Then, you reply,"It's just that I don't want blood on your hands! Or you want people to start accusing you of murder?!"

End of story. *OK bye*

THE 'SHOUTING' WIFE

Some women just love shouting! They shout at everything shoutable and at every opportunity! From their servants to their kids and even their husbands! They just don't know their limits!

See how shouting almost cost one woman her marriage...read on

A 41-year-old man, Yinuza Saheed, prayed an Ilorin Area Court to dissolve his 5-year-old marriage over his wife, Bashirat, always shouting at him.

The man lamented: "My wife always raises voice on me even in the public places whenever I try to correct her wrongful act."

As an example he described the situation, which occurred on October 15, when the defendant shouted at him in the presence of his friends.

Although there are 2 children in the family, the man claims he can't stand this any more.

"My Lord, I want an end to this marriage because I cannot cope with a woman that barks at me every time," he said.

Bashirat objected to the divorce on the ground that she was still interested in the marriage.

"My husband always takes me for granted and that was the reason I always raise my voice and bark at him," she said.

The wife promised to maintain calmness with her husband and begged the court for an adjournment to make a reconciliatory move.

The case was adjourned to December 18 for possible and amicable settlement between the parties or continuation of hearing.

Lol! Why did she apologize if she know say she no want the marriage?!

Just remember wifeys, you can't have two masters in a ship. Besides, two people cannot be mad at the same time.

So stop shouting O!

WIFEY, WATCH OUT! YOU MIGHT JUST BE THE SIDE CHIC!!

I will not stop ranting about the evil that men put women through! No, seriously some men are simply nothing but PURE EVIL!!

How can a man be so wicked to marry a woman (church and traditional marriage kwa o!), house her, father a child or children with her and still the woman will know nothing about this so called husband.

It happened to a friend of mine. She got married to a man we could describe as a devoted and kind family man. The man is always forming busy...comes back late from the office and sometimes even sleeps over at the office. My friend had no cause to suspect as she dey see money well well! Besides, they occasionally had family outings (as in, the husband always tried to make time out for the wife and children). Even his phones never had any suspicious texts as she dey check constantly.

My friend had 3 children for him, 2 boys and a girl. Her husband did everything any responsible husband would do for his family. The only thing she found bothersome was that sometimes when she called him, he would say he was in Lekki and this had gone on for years. She come dey wonder wetin her husband dey do for Lekki because she knows his office is situated in Onikan. She asked him anyways but he really didn't give any concrete answer.

Presently my friend is pregnant for her 4th child and she attends antenatal clinic for Lagoon Hospital for V/I. As she finish her antenatal around 2pm and was leaving the hospital, name so she see her husband's jeep. Inside was another lady who appeared pregnant. They were heading towards Lekki. My friend, action lady she be (I don't have dulling friends)! Na so my friend abandoned her own jeep, took okada  and followed them reach destination.

Their destination was Chevron Estate. Wow! Come see house! My friend remain for corner just dey watch film! First, her husband came out, followed by the heavily pregnant woman. Just when she thought she should start wondering about the whole scenario, 2 children comet for house they shout "Daddy welcome! Mummy welcome!" These children we are talking about were older than her own kids by roughly between 8 and 5 years. Na wah O! Her first child is 6years old while this woman's first is roughly 13 or 14 years old!

To cut story short, her husband had been living a double life! Everything was double double! House double, phones double, car double, children double! To make matter worse, she found out that she is actually the 2nd and fake wife!

You can imagine what happened next!

For me the moral of the story is that, " One day, monkey go go market and e no go return" or "Everyday is for the thief but one day is for the owner" or  "One day wind go blow and fowl yansh go open!"and finally "Nothing is hidden under the sun"...so choose the one you like.

HUSBAND STEALERS OR SHARERS! ARE YOU ONE?!

Don't mind me O! I just dey ask? It still beats me how some women go out of their way to destroy other women's homes. OK I can understand that there are some nymphos who just want to play but what I cannot get is why they now want to have the man for keeps!

After reading an article on Ladun Liadi's blog, I just had to extract it for my fellow 'colleagues' to see evidence of what I am saying! Imagine a woman's mission being to share or snatch  other women's husbands! #end times

Another Yoruba actress, just like Lola Alao has given another reason why single ladies should prefer married men. She also gave reasons why she got married to one, and why she initially lied to journalists that her husband was living abroad before now. Here is what she told Vanguard;

Why are many actresses getting married to married men?

I am married to a married man too. I have not told anyone this before. Other journalists I have met were fed the story that my husband is abroad when he has always been in the country.
Most single men out there are not matured enough to handle the fact that actresses are normal women. They believe we are harlots to be used and dumped. I believe they are too immature to handle the life around us. They are easily affected by things they read and hear about us, and also things they see on screen about us.
But married men are matured to handle all this. They listen to us instead of listening to gist about us. They seem to understand women better. Besides, they are more caring, gentler and wiser.

You just said you are a jealous woman, how then can you share your man with another woman?

Because I knew he was married before I decided to marry him. It was my decision and I knew what I was walking into. Before I made up my mind I knew the price I was to pay and how I have to adapt to that. I have decided to share with the woman inside not any one outside.

Na wah O!

50% Of Why Marriages Survive Is Because Of PROVISION! Alibaba Writes Men

It's important you have something doing. You CAN NOT be waiting for something to do. DO ANYTHING. DONT WAIT FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

It has been proven time without number, that a woman respects a man who provides... more than she respects a man that CAN NOT PROVIDE.

There are huge differences between a man that CAN NOT PROVIDE/ A MAN THAT CAN PROVIDE/ and A MAN CAN PROVIDE BUT DOES NOT WANT TO PROVIDE. You may fall into any of these categories. But if it's the right one well done. If it's not, hey!!!! Brotherly, there is work to be done.

Forget anything anybody tells you, 50% of why many marriages survive, besides the core ingredients of love, respect, understanding and sex... Is PROVISION.

The struggle we get involved in everyday, is just so we can provide. Like my friend, Zakiloooo always says, NA OUR WIVES AND CHILDREN ALL THESE STRUGGLE DEY FOR. Because, he would explain further... We for just begin grooooove enter Ghana, Kenya, Jo'Burg, Uk, Dubai...

BOTTOMLINE, we must know that, if we make 25K, family must get 10K, 5K goes back into the business, savings go hold 5K and we will use the last 5k to hold our side for in case of incasity and other cases of should in case! Zakilo!!!!! God no dey sleep

So, my guys, no just SIDDON. Get up. Find something to do. At all at all NA him bad pass. One of my guys in Warri, was dropped by GTB in the last retrenchment when the new management took over, he said he waited for a bit (5months) when it looked like all those job offers were not coming like when he was employed, he had to do something... He started diesel supply.

Now, he says, the respect as the head of the house is beginning to come back. He also says, men who say, it does not matter if your wife is earning more than you do are being economical with the truth. Your ability to provide MATTERS A GREAT DEAL. DONT LISTEN TO SOME LAZY BUMCUM WHO SAY ITS NOTHING.

I agree totally.

So guys, lets get cracking. Even if it's a stop gap job. Just do it. Not for you. But for the family. I know some will say, it's easy for you to say. Dupe ti re!! No it's not. I started working in 1984 in SuperBru, loading Skol lager beer in trailers and lorries for N5 a day. I have worked in bakeries, taxi driver between Ring Road and Ogba Zoo in my dad's yellow Toyota Crown... I have been, there done that...

We need to groom the next generation of men who believe in dignity of labour, recognize that we are providers, head of the home, protector of the HONOUR of the family and THE MAN. So get to work.

That's all.

5 MYTHS ABOUT LABOUR AND DELIVERY

As I lay here awake at 3:00 a.m. as has become routine for me at 39 weeks pregnant, I'm trying to figure out whether the contractions I'm timing are the real thing or just Braxton-Hicks (the "training" contractions that happen throughout pregnancy). I've been driving myself and everyone around me crazy paying too much attention to every little cramp and contraction. It's all very different from last time I gave birth, when I was basically in labor all day and had no idea until my water broke -- unexpectedly, at 35 weeks.

My husband pointed out that so far, this time has been nothing at all like the movies -- we're still waiting for that singular "aha" moment when I just know it's happening and say, "Honey, this is it. Let's pack the bags and go." In fact, except for my water breaking, last time wasn't much like the movies either. That led me to think about all the other ways that labor and traditional (non C-section, non-"natural," non home-birthing) deliveries are nothing like the dramatic picture we get from Hollywood.

Below are some common myths about labor and delivery:

1. You know when labor is happening. So many factors determine whether or not it's time to go to the hospital -- both the timing and the intensity of contractions have to be just right. This typically happens anywhere between 37-40 weeks, but varies for everyone, and for each pregnancy. Even if you've been through it before, it can be hard to discern between real contractions and Braxton-Hicks, or even between real labor cramping and gas pains. I was expecting contractions to be some kind of major convulsion that would send my body into shockwaves, like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters. Really, the difference between cramps and contractions is quite subtle, and I'm still not sure I've really figured it out.

2. Labor is a singular event. Labor is a long process, and has many stages. The contractions get stronger and closer together, and you may or may not be dilated or effaced (changes to the cervix that indicate your body is preparing for labor) -- only your doctor can determine that. The movies and TV would have you believe that things progress immediately -- you have contractions, you go to the hospital, you push, and out the baby comes. In reality, there are all sorts of scenarios that can cause pushing to be delayed as much as 24 hours or more after contractions start.

3. Your water always breaks. In a way it would be nice of this were true, because it's a sure sign that you're ready to go to the hospital. I definitely knew when my water broke -- there was no question that's what had happened. Contrast that with my contractions, which until that point went completely unnoticed. Apparently, however, the occurrence of water breaking before arriving at the hospital is fairly uncommon, and only happens 10 percent or so of the time.

4. Labor is always painful. What struck me about the entire labor and delivery process was the hard work of pushing -- hence the name, labor. Thanks to epidurals -- which may not be for everyone but I gladly accepted -- the pain never got too intense for me (unless my selective memory just doesn't want me to remember how painful it was, so I can go through it a second time). It wasn't in any way a pleasant process, but not necessarily because of pain as much as the hard work which my delivery nurse likened to running a marathon.

5. The doctor is with you for all the pushing. In reality, a nurse is with you through all the pushing: coaching you, helping you find the best position, telling you when and how to push. The doctor doesn't come in until the crowning, when the head begins to show, to capture all the glory. He or she is there for a couple pushes, and may need to perform a procedure like an episiotomy, or use forceps, or stitch a tear if necessary. But it's really the nurses who are there with you through the whole journey.

I'm so glad I got to experience labor -- really. It may not be anywhere near as dramatic or clear-cut as in the movies, but because it's so different for everyone we each get our own unique story to share. I've noticed that other moms love telling their labor and delivery stories; in fact it seems a point of pride -- the more arduous the better. An intensive labor makes us feel that much tougher, and the bonds with our babies that much stronger. We may complain it's unfair that men don't have to go through all of the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, labor and delivery, but sometimes I wonder if they might be a little envious of the journey we get to experience.

I pray this time around is as quick and easy as they come. But if not, I can take it, and I'd love having another great story to share.

Culled from Huffpost.

TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM

This may seem obvious, but you must know your partner to truly love him or her. Yes, you might experience ‘love at first sight,’ but this is more about chemistry than true love – that deep sense of understanding and caring that grows with familiarity. Loving your partner means intimately knowing and loving him or her.

Some couples think they know each other well simply because they’ve been together for a long time. However, time only provides the opportunity to get to know each other. It cannot substitute for the “work” of reaching out and connecting. I have treated many couples who either never really knew or understood each other, or who were interacting based on old information. And so the work of therapy was to help truly introduce (or reintroduce) them to each other.

Researcher John Gottman explains that it is essential for people to develop and maintain love maps or an understanding of their partner’s world. This is developed through conversations. You must share your experiences with your partner and also listen to your partner’s experiences in order to really get to know each other. And you must do this on an ongoing basis because experiences, hopes, dreams, and difficulties can change.

Dr. Gottman suggests that you develop and maintain love maps by connecting in some way everyday. It helps to talk each evening about the day. It also helps to make sure you know some basics about your partner.

Consider the following questions, which are based on exercises suggested by Gottman:
Who are your partner’s friends?
Who are potential friends of your partner?
What is a typical day like for your partner, both in terms of events and your partner’s thoughts and feelings about those events?
What are recent important events in your partner’s life?
What are the major stresses in your partner’s life?
What is your partner looking forward to?
What are your partner’s dreams?
What excites your partner sexually?
What is your partner’s favorite movie? Music? Play? Book?
What is your partner’s favorite meal?
What does your partner like to do to relax?

Each of these questions provides an opportunity to explore your knowledge of your partner. The questions can be seeds for discussions regarding basic facts about your partner, as well as for more in-depth discussions about your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

Keep in mind that by committing yourself to knowing your partner, you are keeping the door open to love.

Culled from WebMD.

IS YOUR CHILD HAVING DELAYED SPEECH?

A lot of mothers complain about their children's speech, either they are not talking at the age they are expected to or they are not forming words properly. It can be a distressing moment for parents especially the mothers. Every mother desires a healthy child. 

Panicking and complaining up and down is not the solution. If by the age of 2years the child hasn't even started saying 1 or 2 words or isn't saying words clearly by age 4, then it's time to take the child to the hospital for an assessment by the doctor or a speech pathologist.

Here are warning or alert signs of a possible speech problem in a child:

Between 12 and 24 months, reasons for concern include a child who:

• isn't using gestures, such as pointing or waving bye-bye, by 12 months
• prefers gestures over vocalizations to communicate at 18 months
• has trouble imitating sounds by 18 months
• has difficulty understanding simple verbal requests

Seek an evaluation if a child over 2 years old:

• can only imitate speech or actions and doesn't produce words or phrases spontaneously
• says only certain sounds or words repeatedly and can't use oral language to communicate more than his or her immediate needs
• can't follow simple directions
• has an unusual tone of voice (such as raspy or nasal sounding)
• is more difficult to understand than expected for his or her age. Parents and regular caregivers should understand about half of a child's speech at 2 years and about three quarters at 3 years. By 4 years old, a child should be mostly understood, even by people who don't know the child.

There are many things that can cause delayed speech in a child and below are common causes (apart from spiritual! lol!):
1. Genetic - it might be a problem that is in the genes of that family. Make sure you are not marrying your bother or sister, even your cousin. 
2. Familial - it might be a condition that runs in the family where you have the 'late-starters'. Maybe the child's father or mother talked late. This is similar in children who suck their thumb or fingers, even nail-biting.
3. Oral impairments - problems with the palate (cleft palate) or the tongue (short frenulum)
4. Ear infections - maybe the child suffered a lot of ear infections that was not properly treated. If the child is not hearing, then how do you expect the child to talk?
5. Minimal to No Exposure to words - if the child is not used to hearing words like from people or the television, please don't expect too much!

Meanwhile, before you jump into the conclusion of 'Speech Problem', here are some home tips on how you can improve your child's speech:

First and foremost, like so many other things, speech development is a mixture of nature and nurture. Genetic makeup will, in part, determine intelligence and speech and language development. However, a lot of it depends on environment. Is a child adequately stimulated at home or at childcare? Are there opportunities for communication exchange and participation? What kind of feedback does the child get?

1. Spend a lot of time communicating with your child
     I advice mothers to start learning the art of communicating with your child right from when they are still in the womb, so that by the time their child is born, they won't have a hard time talking to them physically. Forget the fact that they may not necessarily understand what you are saying, but with time,they will. A parent should learn to talk properly to her child about everything. She should talk, sing, and encourage imitation of sounds and gestures.

2. Read to your child
    This might not be a typical Nigerian set up but it sure helps. The more words the child is exposed to, the better his or her speech. You can start as early as 6months. You don't have to finish a whole book, but look for age-appropriate soft or board books or picture books that encourage kids to look while you name the pictures. Later, let your child point to recognizable pictures and try to name them. Then move on to nursery rhymes, which have rhythmic appeal. 

3. Use everyday situations to reinforce your child's speech and language.
    In other words, talk your way through the day. For example, name foods at the grocery store, explain what you're doing as you cook a meal or clean a room, point out objects around the house, and as you drive, point out sounds you hear. Ask questions and acknowledge your child's responses (even when they're hard to understand).

4. Never use 'Baby Talk'
    A lot of parents have such bad habit of using baby talk. If your child pronounces words that sound funny, correct him or her immediately. It is wrong to imitate that child (who is the baby then?)


Whatever your child's age, recognizing and treating problems early on is the best approach to help with speech and language delays. Please do not live in denial like some of our sisters- in- christ will say, "It's my enemy who has speech problem".

THE MONSTERS THAT WOMEN MARRY!

A 33 year old man is on the run after murdering his wife with acid. On Friday October 11th, a man named Sunday Eze from Obiofia Nnewichi Nnewi in Anambra State, went to his father-in-law's house at Edoji Uruagu to see his estranged wife, 23 year old Ebere Eze (Nee Agwuncha) who had moved back to her father's house after falling out with her husband. 

The victim's in-law said Sunday came to the house that Friday and claimed he had recently bought new plots of land he wanted his wife to see. He managed to convince Ebere to go with him to go see the land. As they approached Oraifite/Ichi axis in Ekwusigo Local Government, Sunday Eze turned on his wife and attacked her. He beat her with iron and poured acid on her. He then forced some of the acid down her throat.

The lady's screams attracted some policemen who were passing by the area but by then, her attacker was long gone. The policemen rushed her to Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital Nnewi where she later died.

According to the victim's in-law Sunday called his wife's family yesterday Sunday 13th demanding for forgiveness for what he did, but not really saying why he attacked his wife so viciously.

Sunday Eze is wanted by the Nigerian police.

Late Ebere has since been buried. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Sunday, you can only run but you can't hide from God's wrath!...Photo below

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