NAIJA PARENTS, DO YOU AGREE?

I saw this article while browsing through the internet and thought i should share with you guys.

Five-year-olds who are spanked are more likely to be aggressive and break rules later in elementary school, Today reports. According to a study published in Pediatrics, there was no link between spanking by parents at age 3 and children's later behavior. However, kids who were spanked at age 5 were more likely to score lower on vocabulary tests, act out more, and be more aggressive. "We know that spanking doesn't work, we know that yelling doesn't work. Timeout is kind of a mixed bag," says Elizabeth Gershoff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin. However, "We know that reasoning does work," she says.

If truth be told, there are some children that are soooo stubborn as in they no dey hear word. If you don't 'touch' their body, they will remain stubborn! Meanwhile, ever heard the word "Spare the rod and Spoil the child"...

Talking is good and too much beating is not good. Therefore, a mixture of both is not a bad idea sha but more of talking (with a dash of abuse, lol!). Me, I want the type of child that will understand my English language, body language and sign language sef! If not, it will 'rain' on that child O!

I always thought that if one beats a child too much, the child will end up being hard and wicked! I don't know about the 'aggressive' part!

Ex-footballer Discovers 3 Children With Wife Of 20-Years Are Not His!!

After over 20 years of marriage, former Ghana International footballer, Nii Ordartey Lamptey, has just shockingly discovered that all 3 children he has fathered all these years with his wife are not his biological children.

The footballer made this shocking revelation during an interview on radio when he was asked why he and his wife were getting divorced.

"I thought they were my children but upon a DNA test, I got to know that they are not my biological children. The issue is in court so I’m pleading, because it is a legal issue I don’t want to go through so many things, but I am 100% sure that the children are not mine after 20-years of marriage. We had five children but two passed away so we were left with only 3 and they are not mine," Odartey said.

According to report, his wife known as Gloria Lamptey (pictured below) is claiming her husband, Odartey is infertile and he was the one who suggested they use artificial insemination. A claim Lamptey denies.

However, a source close to the former footballer said he'd on several occasions caught his wife cheating on him but stayed with her because of his love for her and the businesses they own together.

The estranged couple are now in court.

During Nii Odartey Lamptey’s career, he played as a striker from 1990 until 2008 notably for Aston Villa, PSV Eindhoven, Coventry City and the Ghana national football team.

*What I want to ask is that why do couples do this?! When one spouse has issues with fertility, the other one go go outside come score goal?!*

No be today, the matter start! By the way, if anyone is suspecting that his children are not his, abeg, no forget to knack us tory for hia!!

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/53227.html

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/53227.html

THE BEST FRUIT SNACK EVER FOR YOUR KIDS!

Trust me mummies and daddies, when I say this is the best  source of vitamins especially vitamin C for your kids.

We know how difficult it is to get our kids to consume fruits and veggies, but not to worry, I have the ultimate solution...WELCH'S FRUIT SNACK!!!

WELCH'S FRUIT SNACK is made from a complete blend of real mixed fruits(grape, pear,peach and pineapple) and fruit purees(strawberry,raspberry,orange and grape). It contains 100% vitamin C and 25% vitamins A and E.

The funniest part is that it is made in form of all those 'gummy bear' like sweets and so they keep reaching out for more. The more they eat, the healthier they are! Your child will be free from yama yama  disease. You will be guaranteed a healthier appetite. It can be used for faster healing of wounds, even boil sef!

So good bye to all those fake so-called 'white vitamin C' or 'orange vitamin C'!

It's available in good superstores but if you are having a hard time getting it, you can mail me at naijahousewife@gmail.com or text me on 08185553713.

N.B I am not marketing for anybody please O! I just want parents to be happy with their children's health and wellbeing. So this info is for those that need it.

CLUES YOU MAY BE ATTRACTED TO THE WRONG PERSON

This post is for all my unmarried sisters in a budding relationship. Please, you need to take time to shine your eyes!

Don't settle for less just because you want to answer 'Mrs'. I have taken time to research answers to some of your questions. Feel free to share your comments.

Enjoy your read....

People are wired to respond positively to being tantalized. The smell of buttered popcorn as you stroll into a movie theater. The jingle of coins from slot machines as you walk through a casino. The promise of flattering attention and acceptance from advertisements about the latest fashion. But, of course, not all that catches our attention is good for us.

The same is true of the come hither look of a sexy man or woman. Or even the cat-and-mouse games that so often entice people into relationships. So, it’s
important to know when you are attracted to the wrong person. You might need
to think twice if the person:

-Has no close friends: Even if his or her acquaintances abound, pay attention
to the lack of emotionally close relationships. While there might be a good
reason for this emotional isolation, it would be in your best interests to be
alert to this possible sign of the person having difficulty with intimacy.

-Lacks insight about him- or herself: Someone who does not understand and
cannot (or will not) articulate their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs will be
limited in their ability to share in an open, emotionally connected way.

-Fails to acknowledge mistakes or limitations: Beware of someone who is
defensive and unable to tolerate acknowledging their part in difficulties in
their life and in their relationships. Just as they are unable to accept their
own flaws, they will be unlikely to accept yours – making it difficult to work
out problems and differences between you.

-Is a poor communicator: Because good communication is the hallmark of
emotionally close relationships, poor communicators have difficulty nurturing
such relationships. They also lack the skills to talk through disagreements.

-Fails to show you respect and appreciation: Without these basics, no
relationship can possibly make you happy.

-Fails to show an interest in getting to know you: Even after the initial
exciting days of a relationship, partners in healthy, happy relationships
continue to show an interest in (and are supportive of) each other’s
thoughts, feelings, interests, and activities.

-Is not ready for a relationship: Healthy long-term relationships are created
through caring and effort. This means that both partners must be prepared
to give the relationship the time and attention it needs to flourish.

By recognizing that the person who looked like a “great catch” is, in reality, not
such a great choice for you, you can avoid many frustrations. You won’t end up
wasting your time in a situation that likely won’t come out well. It also enables
you to move on quickly, giving you an opportunity to find the partner of your
dreams, rather than getting stuck in a recurring nightmare.

Now, do you get the picture?!

Culled from WebMD

HOW TO HANDLE SUSPICIONS OF INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

If you suspect your partner is cheating, it can be tempting to throw around accusations—and maybe a dig or two—but that decreases your chances of getting an honest and productive response out of your partner, says Engler.

Instead, wait until you’re calm and can explain your concerns while emphasizing how you could handle this as a couple. In fact, research shows that talking about infidelity increases a couple’s chances of staying together post-cheat because it puts them in a better position to work through it, says Engler.

If there are specific red flags you’re worried about, bring them up in a non-confrontational way.

“If you see your partner has parents who divorced or didn’t get married, you can ask, ‘What was your reaction to that? How did it shape your thoughts about marriage?’” says Engler.

“You can also ask questions like, ‘What are you most afraid of?’ and ‘What do you most wish for regarding marriage and commitment?’” Talks like this can give you way more insight into your guy than a straight-up accusation ever could.

In a real Nigerian setting, you can ask,"Sweetie, no vex O! Please, ehn, can you explain this your relationship with this girl in your office! I really need to know and understand"

Then if you are almost 99.9% sure of your suspicions, you can politely and boldly say, "Honey, you know how much I love and respect you, but please, kindly inform that girl not to venture calling your phone or coming to your office! All transactions should be via email henceforth! Abi what do you think?!"

And if your husband should ask "Why?" Then, you reply,"It's just that I don't want blood on your hands! Or you want people to start accusing you of murder?!"

End of story. *OK bye*

THE 'SHOUTING' WIFE

Some women just love shouting! They shout at everything shoutable and at every opportunity! From their servants to their kids and even their husbands! They just don't know their limits!

See how shouting almost cost one woman her marriage...read on

A 41-year-old man, Yinuza Saheed, prayed an Ilorin Area Court to dissolve his 5-year-old marriage over his wife, Bashirat, always shouting at him.

The man lamented: "My wife always raises voice on me even in the public places whenever I try to correct her wrongful act."

As an example he described the situation, which occurred on October 15, when the defendant shouted at him in the presence of his friends.

Although there are 2 children in the family, the man claims he can't stand this any more.

"My Lord, I want an end to this marriage because I cannot cope with a woman that barks at me every time," he said.

Bashirat objected to the divorce on the ground that she was still interested in the marriage.

"My husband always takes me for granted and that was the reason I always raise my voice and bark at him," she said.

The wife promised to maintain calmness with her husband and begged the court for an adjournment to make a reconciliatory move.

The case was adjourned to December 18 for possible and amicable settlement between the parties or continuation of hearing.

Lol! Why did she apologize if she know say she no want the marriage?!

Just remember wifeys, you can't have two masters in a ship. Besides, two people cannot be mad at the same time.

So stop shouting O!

WIFEY, WATCH OUT! YOU MIGHT JUST BE THE SIDE CHIC!!

I will not stop ranting about the evil that men put women through! No, seriously some men are simply nothing but PURE EVIL!!

How can a man be so wicked to marry a woman (church and traditional marriage kwa o!), house her, father a child or children with her and still the woman will know nothing about this so called husband.

It happened to a friend of mine. She got married to a man we could describe as a devoted and kind family man. The man is always forming busy...comes back late from the office and sometimes even sleeps over at the office. My friend had no cause to suspect as she dey see money well well! Besides, they occasionally had family outings (as in, the husband always tried to make time out for the wife and children). Even his phones never had any suspicious texts as she dey check constantly.

My friend had 3 children for him, 2 boys and a girl. Her husband did everything any responsible husband would do for his family. The only thing she found bothersome was that sometimes when she called him, he would say he was in Lekki and this had gone on for years. She come dey wonder wetin her husband dey do for Lekki because she knows his office is situated in Onikan. She asked him anyways but he really didn't give any concrete answer.

Presently my friend is pregnant for her 4th child and she attends antenatal clinic for Lagoon Hospital for V/I. As she finish her antenatal around 2pm and was leaving the hospital, name so she see her husband's jeep. Inside was another lady who appeared pregnant. They were heading towards Lekki. My friend, action lady she be (I don't have dulling friends)! Na so my friend abandoned her own jeep, took okada  and followed them reach destination.

Their destination was Chevron Estate. Wow! Come see house! My friend remain for corner just dey watch film! First, her husband came out, followed by the heavily pregnant woman. Just when she thought she should start wondering about the whole scenario, 2 children comet for house they shout "Daddy welcome! Mummy welcome!" These children we are talking about were older than her own kids by roughly between 8 and 5 years. Na wah O! Her first child is 6years old while this woman's first is roughly 13 or 14 years old!

To cut story short, her husband had been living a double life! Everything was double double! House double, phones double, car double, children double! To make matter worse, she found out that she is actually the 2nd and fake wife!

You can imagine what happened next!

For me the moral of the story is that, " One day, monkey go go market and e no go return" or "Everyday is for the thief but one day is for the owner" or  "One day wind go blow and fowl yansh go open!"and finally "Nothing is hidden under the sun"...so choose the one you like.

HUSBAND STEALERS OR SHARERS! ARE YOU ONE?!

Don't mind me O! I just dey ask? It still beats me how some women go out of their way to destroy other women's homes. OK I can understand that there are some nymphos who just want to play but what I cannot get is why they now want to have the man for keeps!

After reading an article on Ladun Liadi's blog, I just had to extract it for my fellow 'colleagues' to see evidence of what I am saying! Imagine a woman's mission being to share or snatch  other women's husbands! #end times

Another Yoruba actress, just like Lola Alao has given another reason why single ladies should prefer married men. She also gave reasons why she got married to one, and why she initially lied to journalists that her husband was living abroad before now. Here is what she told Vanguard;

Why are many actresses getting married to married men?

I am married to a married man too. I have not told anyone this before. Other journalists I have met were fed the story that my husband is abroad when he has always been in the country.
Most single men out there are not matured enough to handle the fact that actresses are normal women. They believe we are harlots to be used and dumped. I believe they are too immature to handle the life around us. They are easily affected by things they read and hear about us, and also things they see on screen about us.
But married men are matured to handle all this. They listen to us instead of listening to gist about us. They seem to understand women better. Besides, they are more caring, gentler and wiser.

You just said you are a jealous woman, how then can you share your man with another woman?

Because I knew he was married before I decided to marry him. It was my decision and I knew what I was walking into. Before I made up my mind I knew the price I was to pay and how I have to adapt to that. I have decided to share with the woman inside not any one outside.

Na wah O!

50% Of Why Marriages Survive Is Because Of PROVISION! Alibaba Writes Men

It's important you have something doing. You CAN NOT be waiting for something to do. DO ANYTHING. DONT WAIT FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

It has been proven time without number, that a woman respects a man who provides... more than she respects a man that CAN NOT PROVIDE.

There are huge differences between a man that CAN NOT PROVIDE/ A MAN THAT CAN PROVIDE/ and A MAN CAN PROVIDE BUT DOES NOT WANT TO PROVIDE. You may fall into any of these categories. But if it's the right one well done. If it's not, hey!!!! Brotherly, there is work to be done.

Forget anything anybody tells you, 50% of why many marriages survive, besides the core ingredients of love, respect, understanding and sex... Is PROVISION.

The struggle we get involved in everyday, is just so we can provide. Like my friend, Zakiloooo always says, NA OUR WIVES AND CHILDREN ALL THESE STRUGGLE DEY FOR. Because, he would explain further... We for just begin grooooove enter Ghana, Kenya, Jo'Burg, Uk, Dubai...

BOTTOMLINE, we must know that, if we make 25K, family must get 10K, 5K goes back into the business, savings go hold 5K and we will use the last 5k to hold our side for in case of incasity and other cases of should in case! Zakilo!!!!! God no dey sleep

So, my guys, no just SIDDON. Get up. Find something to do. At all at all NA him bad pass. One of my guys in Warri, was dropped by GTB in the last retrenchment when the new management took over, he said he waited for a bit (5months) when it looked like all those job offers were not coming like when he was employed, he had to do something... He started diesel supply.

Now, he says, the respect as the head of the house is beginning to come back. He also says, men who say, it does not matter if your wife is earning more than you do are being economical with the truth. Your ability to provide MATTERS A GREAT DEAL. DONT LISTEN TO SOME LAZY BUMCUM WHO SAY ITS NOTHING.

I agree totally.

So guys, lets get cracking. Even if it's a stop gap job. Just do it. Not for you. But for the family. I know some will say, it's easy for you to say. Dupe ti re!! No it's not. I started working in 1984 in SuperBru, loading Skol lager beer in trailers and lorries for N5 a day. I have worked in bakeries, taxi driver between Ring Road and Ogba Zoo in my dad's yellow Toyota Crown... I have been, there done that...

We need to groom the next generation of men who believe in dignity of labour, recognize that we are providers, head of the home, protector of the HONOUR of the family and THE MAN. So get to work.

That's all.

5 MYTHS ABOUT LABOUR AND DELIVERY

As I lay here awake at 3:00 a.m. as has become routine for me at 39 weeks pregnant, I'm trying to figure out whether the contractions I'm timing are the real thing or just Braxton-Hicks (the "training" contractions that happen throughout pregnancy). I've been driving myself and everyone around me crazy paying too much attention to every little cramp and contraction. It's all very different from last time I gave birth, when I was basically in labor all day and had no idea until my water broke -- unexpectedly, at 35 weeks.

My husband pointed out that so far, this time has been nothing at all like the movies -- we're still waiting for that singular "aha" moment when I just know it's happening and say, "Honey, this is it. Let's pack the bags and go." In fact, except for my water breaking, last time wasn't much like the movies either. That led me to think about all the other ways that labor and traditional (non C-section, non-"natural," non home-birthing) deliveries are nothing like the dramatic picture we get from Hollywood.

Below are some common myths about labor and delivery:

1. You know when labor is happening. So many factors determine whether or not it's time to go to the hospital -- both the timing and the intensity of contractions have to be just right. This typically happens anywhere between 37-40 weeks, but varies for everyone, and for each pregnancy. Even if you've been through it before, it can be hard to discern between real contractions and Braxton-Hicks, or even between real labor cramping and gas pains. I was expecting contractions to be some kind of major convulsion that would send my body into shockwaves, like Sigourney Weaver in Ghostbusters. Really, the difference between cramps and contractions is quite subtle, and I'm still not sure I've really figured it out.

2. Labor is a singular event. Labor is a long process, and has many stages. The contractions get stronger and closer together, and you may or may not be dilated or effaced (changes to the cervix that indicate your body is preparing for labor) -- only your doctor can determine that. The movies and TV would have you believe that things progress immediately -- you have contractions, you go to the hospital, you push, and out the baby comes. In reality, there are all sorts of scenarios that can cause pushing to be delayed as much as 24 hours or more after contractions start.

3. Your water always breaks. In a way it would be nice of this were true, because it's a sure sign that you're ready to go to the hospital. I definitely knew when my water broke -- there was no question that's what had happened. Contrast that with my contractions, which until that point went completely unnoticed. Apparently, however, the occurrence of water breaking before arriving at the hospital is fairly uncommon, and only happens 10 percent or so of the time.

4. Labor is always painful. What struck me about the entire labor and delivery process was the hard work of pushing -- hence the name, labor. Thanks to epidurals -- which may not be for everyone but I gladly accepted -- the pain never got too intense for me (unless my selective memory just doesn't want me to remember how painful it was, so I can go through it a second time). It wasn't in any way a pleasant process, but not necessarily because of pain as much as the hard work which my delivery nurse likened to running a marathon.

5. The doctor is with you for all the pushing. In reality, a nurse is with you through all the pushing: coaching you, helping you find the best position, telling you when and how to push. The doctor doesn't come in until the crowning, when the head begins to show, to capture all the glory. He or she is there for a couple pushes, and may need to perform a procedure like an episiotomy, or use forceps, or stitch a tear if necessary. But it's really the nurses who are there with you through the whole journey.

I'm so glad I got to experience labor -- really. It may not be anywhere near as dramatic or clear-cut as in the movies, but because it's so different for everyone we each get our own unique story to share. I've noticed that other moms love telling their labor and delivery stories; in fact it seems a point of pride -- the more arduous the better. An intensive labor makes us feel that much tougher, and the bonds with our babies that much stronger. We may complain it's unfair that men don't have to go through all of the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, labor and delivery, but sometimes I wonder if they might be a little envious of the journey we get to experience.

I pray this time around is as quick and easy as they come. But if not, I can take it, and I'd love having another great story to share.

Culled from Huffpost.

TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM

This may seem obvious, but you must know your partner to truly love him or her. Yes, you might experience ‘love at first sight,’ but this is more about chemistry than true love – that deep sense of understanding and caring that grows with familiarity. Loving your partner means intimately knowing and loving him or her.

Some couples think they know each other well simply because they’ve been together for a long time. However, time only provides the opportunity to get to know each other. It cannot substitute for the “work” of reaching out and connecting. I have treated many couples who either never really knew or understood each other, or who were interacting based on old information. And so the work of therapy was to help truly introduce (or reintroduce) them to each other.

Researcher John Gottman explains that it is essential for people to develop and maintain love maps or an understanding of their partner’s world. This is developed through conversations. You must share your experiences with your partner and also listen to your partner’s experiences in order to really get to know each other. And you must do this on an ongoing basis because experiences, hopes, dreams, and difficulties can change.

Dr. Gottman suggests that you develop and maintain love maps by connecting in some way everyday. It helps to talk each evening about the day. It also helps to make sure you know some basics about your partner.

Consider the following questions, which are based on exercises suggested by Gottman:
Who are your partner’s friends?
Who are potential friends of your partner?
What is a typical day like for your partner, both in terms of events and your partner’s thoughts and feelings about those events?
What are recent important events in your partner’s life?
What are the major stresses in your partner’s life?
What is your partner looking forward to?
What are your partner’s dreams?
What excites your partner sexually?
What is your partner’s favorite movie? Music? Play? Book?
What is your partner’s favorite meal?
What does your partner like to do to relax?

Each of these questions provides an opportunity to explore your knowledge of your partner. The questions can be seeds for discussions regarding basic facts about your partner, as well as for more in-depth discussions about your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

Keep in mind that by committing yourself to knowing your partner, you are keeping the door open to love.

Culled from WebMD.

IS YOUR CHILD HAVING DELAYED SPEECH?

A lot of mothers complain about their children's speech, either they are not talking at the age they are expected to or they are not forming words properly. It can be a distressing moment for parents especially the mothers. Every mother desires a healthy child. 

Panicking and complaining up and down is not the solution. If by the age of 2years the child hasn't even started saying 1 or 2 words or isn't saying words clearly by age 4, then it's time to take the child to the hospital for an assessment by the doctor or a speech pathologist.

Here are warning or alert signs of a possible speech problem in a child:

Between 12 and 24 months, reasons for concern include a child who:

• isn't using gestures, such as pointing or waving bye-bye, by 12 months
• prefers gestures over vocalizations to communicate at 18 months
• has trouble imitating sounds by 18 months
• has difficulty understanding simple verbal requests

Seek an evaluation if a child over 2 years old:

• can only imitate speech or actions and doesn't produce words or phrases spontaneously
• says only certain sounds or words repeatedly and can't use oral language to communicate more than his or her immediate needs
• can't follow simple directions
• has an unusual tone of voice (such as raspy or nasal sounding)
• is more difficult to understand than expected for his or her age. Parents and regular caregivers should understand about half of a child's speech at 2 years and about three quarters at 3 years. By 4 years old, a child should be mostly understood, even by people who don't know the child.

There are many things that can cause delayed speech in a child and below are common causes (apart from spiritual! lol!):
1. Genetic - it might be a problem that is in the genes of that family. Make sure you are not marrying your bother or sister, even your cousin. 
2. Familial - it might be a condition that runs in the family where you have the 'late-starters'. Maybe the child's father or mother talked late. This is similar in children who suck their thumb or fingers, even nail-biting.
3. Oral impairments - problems with the palate (cleft palate) or the tongue (short frenulum)
4. Ear infections - maybe the child suffered a lot of ear infections that was not properly treated. If the child is not hearing, then how do you expect the child to talk?
5. Minimal to No Exposure to words - if the child is not used to hearing words like from people or the television, please don't expect too much!

Meanwhile, before you jump into the conclusion of 'Speech Problem', here are some home tips on how you can improve your child's speech:

First and foremost, like so many other things, speech development is a mixture of nature and nurture. Genetic makeup will, in part, determine intelligence and speech and language development. However, a lot of it depends on environment. Is a child adequately stimulated at home or at childcare? Are there opportunities for communication exchange and participation? What kind of feedback does the child get?

1. Spend a lot of time communicating with your child
     I advice mothers to start learning the art of communicating with your child right from when they are still in the womb, so that by the time their child is born, they won't have a hard time talking to them physically. Forget the fact that they may not necessarily understand what you are saying, but with time,they will. A parent should learn to talk properly to her child about everything. She should talk, sing, and encourage imitation of sounds and gestures.

2. Read to your child
    This might not be a typical Nigerian set up but it sure helps. The more words the child is exposed to, the better his or her speech. You can start as early as 6months. You don't have to finish a whole book, but look for age-appropriate soft or board books or picture books that encourage kids to look while you name the pictures. Later, let your child point to recognizable pictures and try to name them. Then move on to nursery rhymes, which have rhythmic appeal. 

3. Use everyday situations to reinforce your child's speech and language.
    In other words, talk your way through the day. For example, name foods at the grocery store, explain what you're doing as you cook a meal or clean a room, point out objects around the house, and as you drive, point out sounds you hear. Ask questions and acknowledge your child's responses (even when they're hard to understand).

4. Never use 'Baby Talk'
    A lot of parents have such bad habit of using baby talk. If your child pronounces words that sound funny, correct him or her immediately. It is wrong to imitate that child (who is the baby then?)


Whatever your child's age, recognizing and treating problems early on is the best approach to help with speech and language delays. Please do not live in denial like some of our sisters- in- christ will say, "It's my enemy who has speech problem".

THE MONSTERS THAT WOMEN MARRY!

A 33 year old man is on the run after murdering his wife with acid. On Friday October 11th, a man named Sunday Eze from Obiofia Nnewichi Nnewi in Anambra State, went to his father-in-law's house at Edoji Uruagu to see his estranged wife, 23 year old Ebere Eze (Nee Agwuncha) who had moved back to her father's house after falling out with her husband. 

The victim's in-law said Sunday came to the house that Friday and claimed he had recently bought new plots of land he wanted his wife to see. He managed to convince Ebere to go with him to go see the land. As they approached Oraifite/Ichi axis in Ekwusigo Local Government, Sunday Eze turned on his wife and attacked her. He beat her with iron and poured acid on her. He then forced some of the acid down her throat.

The lady's screams attracted some policemen who were passing by the area but by then, her attacker was long gone. The policemen rushed her to Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital Nnewi where she later died.

According to the victim's in-law Sunday called his wife's family yesterday Sunday 13th demanding for forgiveness for what he did, but not really saying why he attacked his wife so viciously.

Sunday Eze is wanted by the Nigerian police.

Late Ebere has since been buried. May her soul rest in perfect peace. Sunday, you can only run but you can't hide from God's wrath!...Photo below

(Viewer's Discretion)

HUSBANDS, PLEASE GET YOUR PRIORITIES RIGHT!!

I don't understand these our Nigerian men again O! I have observed that a lot of our husbands put other people first before their immediate family especially the nuclear one, in terms of attending to their needs.

Let me use this opportunity to tell you that it is not every Tom, Dick and Harry that runs to you for help that you need to open your purse to. Please don't get me wrong. It is good to help people (after all that is what we are called to do as Christians) but there are some of these people who you help that take advantage of your niceness. They become perpetual beggars with no focus who want a fellow man like you to be a permanent money slave for them forgetting that you have a wife and children to take care of.

I just cannot understand why husbands will attend to outsiders first before their immediate family. Who do you think you are trying to impress? You want the whole world to see you as "The World's Kindest Man" who is married to "The World's Wickedest Witch" (the wife)!

Let me explain to you how the 'Maths' works:
1. NUCLEAR FAMILY (Husband, Wife, Children)
2. Extended Family (Mother, Father, In-Laws, Siblings)
3. Others (Friends and charity cases)

So please before you rush to extend a financial hand, ensure that 1 and 2 have been settled, then you can now answer 'SUPER-MAN'! Be informed that 1 and 2 are your investments especially 1.

It doesn't make sense for a man to be helping his whole village when he hasn't paid the house rent, his children's school fees or given his wife monthly feeding allowance! Or the man that can die for his friends and not his family (and not that those friends have done anything useful to him or his family members).

It is also abnormal to be 'helping' the same person over and over again...you too now, check it! Is the person the only one in this world that has problems? If you want to show your generosity, go to the Orphanages, Remand Homes, Motherless and Useless Fathers with children Homes!

If the same person keeps coming back for financial help especially, then it is time to query the relationship:
- It is either the person is using you of which you are not gaining anything (Parasitic Relationship)
- Or both of you are using each other (Symbiotic Relationship) e.g Are you gay?! Did you father a child outside your marriage and they are helping you take care of that child? *just asking O!*

If truth be told our dear husbands, misplacing your priorities will not help you or your children's future. If you die today (God forbid), these 'parasites' will not be there for your family! Have you not seen or heard the pitiful plights of widows...go and ask!

Or have you not seen situations where as soon as the man dies, the siblings or in-laws throw the wife and kids out all in the name of sharing his property? That is why I keep insisting you get your priorities right now. Study the 'maths' above well and ask yourself what is most important to you?!

You will see husbands who claim they do not have money to feed their family but are helping other abled bodied men take care of their own family!

Or is it husbands who are men enough to father children but are not men enough to cater to the needs of his family.

These words, MAN, HUSBAND, FATHER, are not for mouth...live up to the name joor! Act it! It is not defined by those things dangling between your legs! A REAL MAN NOT ONLY FATHERS A CHILD BUT PROTECTS HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN, SPIRITUALLY, ACADEMICALLY AND FINANCIALLY!!!

Please build the foundation for No. 1 well before other activities. Don't think you are saving face by neglecting No. 1 because one day, wind go blow and fowl yansh go open! I am not saying you should not help, help but not to the detriment of your nuclear family.


#I rest my case..

SURE SIGNS SHE WILL CHEAT ON YOU.

I got a mail from one of my blog readers who wanted to know the signs of a cheating wife, that I only talk about cheating husbands. Well, you are in luck because I stumbled on this article and so decided to share in response to the mail.

Happy reading!

Men want to know if there's any way to tell if the woman they are dating or married to will cheat on them at a future date and one day break their heart.

Women who are highly susceptible to infidelity tend to fall into one or more of the 16 categories below:

Categories of Women Most Likely To Cheat

1. Women who have lots of close male friends - Close friendships with members of the opposite sex are a common starting point for many affairs. The closer the woman is to her platonic male friend, the more likely it is that he will eventually end up becoming her lover - unless he's gay.
2. Women who have an excessive need for attention - a woman who requires constant attention may cheat on her mate if she feels she isn't getting enough attention from him. She will be easy prey for any man who showers with her the attention she feels she deserves.
3. Women who are materialistic - a materialistic woman is likely to have an affair with a wealthy man because of the material things he can provide. She can easily be seduced with gifts of money, jewelry, designer clothes, lavish vacations, and other expensive things.
4. Women who are easily bored - a woman who is easily bored may cheat on her mate just to add some excitement to her life, or alleviate her boredom.
5. Women whose husbands or boyfriends have cheated on them - Some women who have been victims of infidelity may indulge in retaliatory cheating or revenge affairs. If you cheated on her, she may try to even the score by cheating on you.
6. Women whose girlfriends are cheating on their mates - never underestimate the power of peer pressure. Adults are susceptible to peer pressure, too. If her girlfriends or close female acquaintances are cheating on their mates, it's just a matter of time before she be cheating too.
7. Women who thrive on being the center of attention - a woman who insists on being the center of attention at all times, the man who fawns over her and makes her feel like she's #1 in his life is likely to score big.
8. Women who are alcoholics or drug addicts - a woman who is a substance abuser is much more likely to end up cheating on her mate. Women who overindulges in alcohol are susceptible to infidelity because their inhibitions will be lowered and their judgment impaired. Female drug addict may sell their bodies for drugs. Either type of woman is likely to cheat without realizing what she's doing.
9. Women who are considered "party girls" - if she's the type of woman who runs with a fast crowd, or routinely parties or hangs out until the wee hours of the night, her lifestyle makes her vulnerable to having an affair.
10. Women who are addicted to sex - Yes, women can be sex addicts, too. In the past these women were referred to as nymphomaniacs. This is a medical condition that requires medical help.
11. Women with a sex drive greater than that of their partner - a woman whose sex drive greatly exceeds the sex drive of her husband or boyfriend, or whose spouse or significant other is lacking in bedroom skills, is much more likely to cheat on her mate. If she wants to have sex all the time, she'll find someone to fill in when her husband or boyfriend isn't there.
12. Women who are sexually experienced - a woman who has had an extremely active sex life, or who has had numerous sex partners before settling down, will find very difficult to stay faithful to just .one man.
13. Women who cheated on their mates in the past without getting caught - a woman who has cheated before and got away with it will have no qualms about cheating on her mate again, or cheating on the new man in her life. After all, she's already proven to herself that she can escape detection, and will be confident that she can pull it off again without getting caught.
14. Women who are thrill seekers or risk takers - this type of woman will cheat just for the thrill of it, or for the excitement of doing something forbidden. She views infidelity as other people would view a high-risk sport.
15. Women who have big egos - if a woman is extremely egotistic, any man who feeds her ego can easily get her into bed.
16. Women who suffer from low self esteem - a woman who has low-self esteem is easy prey for a man who flatters her, builds her up, makes her feel good about herself, and boosts her self esteem.

The more of the above categories your wife or girlfriend fits into, the more likely it is that she will cheat on you.

Guys, I hope this answers your questions?! LOL! Look, my own little advice is that, instead of bothering your head about whether she will cheat or is cheating on you, just play your own role as a 'Husband or Husband-to-be' well and leave the rest to God.

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL?!

Has there being moments when you have been caught-up in a web of lies and deceit in your marriage? Not knowing if telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth could make or mar your marriage...Hmmm.

Even before marriage, a couple might have 'skeletons' in their wardrobe or might have had some awful past that they have put behind them but somehow this 'past' starts to haunt their future.

 For example, rekindling a relationship with an old flame and even as much as taking it to another level...if you know what I mean.

Or is it the wife that is involved in a hot steamy affair and can't stand the touch of her husband at night...you better tell him or I go do telling myself if I know him, try me!

Or is it a wife that claims to have a child or children for her husband when it turns out to be someone else's (even her supposed ex-boyfriend from her past). The worst part is when the owner of these children starts harassing her for his kids...Chai!

Or is a woman who never told her husband that she has been previously married and the marriage sef never even end!...no be bigamy be dat?!  *just asking*

Or a husband that has loads of children littered all over the continent and he then marries a lady who is 'green' in all manner of the word! *well, who no know go know!*

Or is a man who knew his HIV/HEPATITIS B status but never told his wife about it even after marriage...

Or is it the wife whose 1st child from another man (who turns out to be her father) and she keeps mum about it. Some Olofofos of her past decide it is time for her to tell her husband...imagine taking panadol for someone else's headache O!    *I am not saying it is right either*

Or is it the wealthy husband who keeps fooling his wife that he has a normal office work when we all know the truth! Can he explain the sudden and mysterious death in his family or why his wife is barren or is the room in the house that remains permanently locked up...can he?!   *lips are sealed*

It is plenty my people...but what ever you do, keep it in mind that "Everyday is for the thief, but one day is for the owner". Ask yourself, "Is your past getting in the way of your future? Is it affecting the way you relate with your spouse? Is your marital bliss dependent on your telling the truth of what went on in your past? Is somebody blackmailing you or threatening to tell your spouse about your past?

...My dear, all I have to say is that "It is time for you to tell the truth, no matter what!" Would you rather have someone else tell it for you...remember the person will add spice O! If your spouse really and truly loves you, he/she will hurt but they will forgive you..

Marriage built on deceit is no marriage so don't deceive yourself!

Just Pray before you do anything sha! THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS SET YOU FREE!

*Pls, don't forget to share the outcome here. Will be sipping on juice and waiting*

CONFESSIONS OF A TERRIBLE HOUSEWIFE (PART 2)

Hi gurls, hope you enjoyed the first part of this piece? Here is the concluding part...

Expectations Have Changed

 

When you're a full-time homemaker, just being a mom and running your household isn't enough anymore -- there's all this other stuff that your husband, your school, your community, your working friends, and your mother-in-law expect you to do. You've got the time, they figure. You're not working, right?

As far as I can see, SAHMs pick up the slack (and the dry cleaning) for a lot of people. Moms on the PTA practically run the education system, for heaven's sake! I don't know how they do it. I find it overwhelming, and I've only got one kid.

When I went to an office job, I managed to get the laundry done and dinner on the table. But now that I have all day long, the drudgery seems to expand to fill the time available. The piles of laundry are endless, getting meals together is exhausting, and keeping the house in some sort of order is practically impossible. I'm sure it's psychological. I'm not feeling engaged so I'm not able to be efficient. There's no work-life balance. And since I'm doing a crappy job I feel permanently frustrated. As my family can tell you, I'm yelling a lot more.

So, no -- becoming a SAHM didn't exactly turn me into the serene domestic goddess my husband envisioned the day I got laid off. Case in point: the chicken incident. It was my second week at home and I thought, what says "oasis" better than a roast chicken? And I wasn't going to make just any roast chicken, but the most succulent, amazing homecooked roast chicken my husband had ever tasted. I devoted the day to it and totally outdid myself. Or so I thought.

That night, when my husband did not acknowledge the chicken's amazingness, I was livid. "I made you dinner," I said through gritted teeth. "I cooked."

"It's good," he grunted, cluelessly.

I was sweaty, grumpy, annoyed, and in need of a lot of praise. This wasn't so much a chicken as it was a cry for help, a huge "Notice Me!" sign, and silly man, he just...ate it. In a moment of high domestic drama, I picked up the bird and, well, you remember the rest.

I know, I'm a drama queen and a big whiner. I can hear you saying, "Get over yourself! You can't possibly be spending every minute of your day shopping and cleaning and trying to cook. Make the time to do something else! Charity work! Help out at your son's school! Take cooking lessons if you can't cook. Blog!" And I'm starting to do all that. I'm getting there.

All I'm saying, I guess, is that this is a huge adjustment. I worked hard at my office job. And I'm sure my experience has a lot to do with how pathetic I am at homemaking. But I almost feel like, before becoming a stay-at-home mom, I never really worked a day in my life.

When she's not throwing poultry at her husband, Barrie Gillies spends much of her time picking Legos out of the laundry

BY BARRIE GILLIES

CONFESSIONS OF A TERRIBLE HOUSEWIFE (PART 1)

My darling wifey colleagues, this well-crafted piece I am about to present to y'all is something most of us can identify with. I just wish our husbands could be more sensitive and more loving when we carry out these duties. Well, happy reading!! :-)....don't forget to drop your conmments. We are hear to learn.

A few months ago Democratic strategist and working mom Hilary Rosen said that Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's wife, Ann, a stay-at-home mom, "never worked a day in her life." The backlash was immediate. Never worked a day in her life? The woman raised five boys! That's a major accomplishment, nannies or not.

Rosen ought to be darn thankful she didn't say something like that to me. I work hard at homemaking and I will have respect. Recently, when my husband dared to eat my lovingly home-cooked dinner without praising it effusively, I threw the entire roast chicken across the kitchen in a fit of rage. But more on that later.

Bottom line, Rosen's comment touched off yet another round of the Mommy Wars: working moms versus stay-at-home moms. And as always, emotions -- and sometimes chickens -- are flying fast and furious. I've done the mom thing both ways and I'm here to say that being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job ever.

I went over to the stay-at-home side a few months ago, when I got laid off. No biggie, my husband consoled. We'll get rid of the childcare costs and we'll manage on one paycheck. You'll spend more time with Will (our 6-year-old). You'll cook more (good-bye take-out bills!). You'll take care of the house (good-bye cleaning lady!). What he actually said was, "You'll be a domestic goddess and make our home an oasis of calm and order."

Who knew oasis-building was such a soul-sucking endeavour? Cleaning is beyond boring, of course, but it's more than that -- I don't like doing things I'm not very good at. I'm not a great cook. I'm not crafty. I don't have a green thumb. Entertaining frays my nerves. And my idea of organizing is making sure there are no pizza boxes on the floor. Basically, I just don't have the skill set for this line of work. I miss my office job!

Yes, I'm thrilled to do the school run every day and to be able to spend more than just quality time with Will, but that is one of the few upsides of my new life. I miss working with other adults. I liked having a desk full of papers and memos and spending my days thinking about how to solve office-related problems, no baking required. That's where I excel. As a homemaker, I suck.

It's stressing me out, big-time. "What did you do today?" my husband asks. It's an innocent question, I guess, but I snap: "Why? Do you want me to fill out a time sheet?" (Count to 10. Breathe.) "Oh, you know, I shopped and cleaned and picked Will up from school and took him to tae kwon do and made him do his homework and gave him a bath and fixed his dinner and threatened him about veggies and, well, that's about it. Oh, and I forgot to eat lunch. How was your day?"

Expectations are higher when you're a SAHM. If you are not running on all cylinders -- raising the happiest, most accomplished, nicest kids, feeding them the healthiest, most delicious food, providing the family an oasis to come home to -- then you're a failure. I mean, that's your job. Plus, this new division of labor means I've suddenly become my husband's assistant. "You've really got to get Will's room in order." (Okay, that's fair.) "You've really got to get him to do his homework." (Well, you could help.) "You've really got to get him to bed earlier. (Again, could use some help here. I'm pooped.) "You've really got to put things away!" (I know! Shut up!) And, believe it or not: "You really ought to get a pedicure."

He probably means, "Pamper yourself. You deserve it." But what I hear is: "You really ought to make yourself more attractive for your husband." (Hey, maybe then he'll run away with me -- his secretary.)

BY BARRIE GILLIES

MY MOTHER IN-LAW IS INTERFERRING IN MY MARRIAGE

I got this from SDK's blog and thought I should share it.

Hi Stella,Hope you are doing OK. I love the good job you are doing with your blog. I need your advice and that of your readers.

I have been married for 10yrs and i love my husband very much. The problem is that his mother keeps meddling in ourhome and causing problems but so far the issues never got out of hand thank God!

The one that is giving me heart ache now is that she told my husband that our kids school fees was too much and my husband agreed with her and asked that the kids ages 8,6 and 4 be put in a cheaper school their reason being that my husband and his siblings went to public schools.

Stella i also went to public school but the public school of our days are different from today's public school.

Our kids used to go to school that one person's school fees was 150k a term. My husband told me he was not going to pay more than 50k for a child anymore after the mum came up with how he was paying too much.

I had to call her and talk to her and gave her reasons why public school was a no no. She then suggested cheaper schools. How she got to know how much we were paying for sch fees, i don't know.

All these happenedbefore the new sch term started. I decided to obey my husband since i saw that he was serious.  The cheapest nicest sch i found was 85k which he agreed to pay.

My husband makes over 1million a month,i earn 250k a month and my contributionis to feed the family, every other expense except food is taken care of by hubby.

 We live in a rented apartmentalthough we are building. the house my mother in law lives in was built by my husband 3yrs ago. Anytime he is doing stuff for his people i don't interfere meanwhile he is no 3 out of 5 children but the only one doing well.

Now the issue i have is that since my kids started attending this new school my 8yrs old daughter comes home saying waka! ntooo!bastard! i just can't deal its driving me nuts. I asked their dad if he was okay with all these grammar our child is using and he toldme to keep correcting her. 

I didn't use my money to buy food this month but asked him for money because I'm saving to changethem back to the school they were before but i don't know if i can continue like this or if i want to be the one paying for our kids school fees.

I am an American citizen and i am honestly thinking of eloping with my kids but i don't want to break my marriage bythis action.My sister in America is advising i  come this Xmas with my kids. i have already gotten them visas it will be easy to file for them when we are there but seriously i don't know if its a wise thing to do and i don't want to threaten my husband withthis cos I'm not sure what his reaction would be. I have been praying for him to have a change of heart i don't know how long mypatience can hold. 

I really need Ur advice. Thanks

Culled from SDK's blog