Sunday, September 8, 2013

WHY WIVES CHEAT...



You must be kidding me! Sorry to disappoint you. Even me dey find reasons why women cheat on their husbands. There is no point closing this page, just go right ahead and write the reasons why you think women cheat on their husbands in the box below.

For me the reasons are highly subjective. I say this because if I start cheating on my husband, it would be because I simply want to and not because I have a reason. In the past, I used to be judgmental about this topic until a very close friend of mine who you would describe as a quintessential virtuous woman almost fell into the category of women who cheated on her husband. Thank God, she confided in me early in the relationship, early enough to save her from losing her dignity and her relationship with God (which is the ultimate).

Margaret (name changed) has always been a lucky chic, she had everything going for her. I won't particularly say she lacked the good things of life. She got out of university at an early age. She got a good paying job at an appropriate age. To crown everything, she got married to a good and God-fearing man at an early age( at an age any girl would love to get married, say 25years old). She is blessed with 2 beautiful children, a boy and a girl. Her husband works in an oil-company as an engineer. In short, the girl is seriously blessed! To people, on the outside, she looked like she had a perfect life, even I thought so!

One day, I decided to stop over at Maggie's office and I met her looking out her window, deep in thought. She didn't know I had been watching her for almost 5minutes until I walked towards her and touched her shoulder. She had been crying quietly and so I had no choice but to hold her in my arms until the tears couldn't come out. So we sat down and talked.

Maggie had been dating a guy she met at the mall for about 2years now! (In my mind I am freaking out, not believing what I was hearing...and to think I knew everything about my friend. And I thought I was the wild one!) I asked her how that happened and she said she didn't know. That actually she has been having problems with Jerry, her husband. I asked which problems and she said Jerry her husband wasn't giving her attention anymore, that he was too caught up in his work, that he doesn't even say "I love you" anymore to her...I was still waiting for her to say he doesn't give me money, he beats me black and blue, he cheats on me with the girl next door, he smokes and comes home drunk...but No, she doesn't say any of these! So I had to ask again, "You mean to tell me Maggie, that you are involved with another man because your husband doesn't give you attention or affection?!"  I told her that I didn't believe her and that she hadn't finished telling me why she was cheating on her husband. I asked if her husband knew or had an idea, she said No. So how do you guys communicate with or see each other?...she says through phone calls and they visit each other in their place of work occasionally.

I met her crying because, the guy had invited her for a weekend get-away in Dubai and she wasn't ready to take the relationship to the sexual level. Because she knows travelling with him would involve sex. The truth of the matter is that she didn't want to destroy her relationship with God any further than she had. She was also scared of catching HIV or the most talked about Hepatitis B. Thirdly, she still loved her husband very much...Now to end the relationship will be very difficult and deep down, she didn't want to because she liked the fact that the guy showered her with loads of attention and affection. Talk about marital dilemma!

Now that brings us back to the topic. You see why I said, reasons for cheating is highly subjective. This my friend's experience has made me see things objectively. I shouldn't say because I am not in that situation, therefore, I should start judging these women negatively. We should be our sister's keeper. We as women should know that this institution called 'Marriage' is not easy at all. It takes the grace of God.

The final truth is that there is no real reason to cheat because we should actually not be cheating. Our dealing is with God. Who are we fooling...ourselves of course! Even if you cheat on your husband because he cheated on you, there is no guarantee that this new guy will not cheat on you. If there is a problem in your marriage, then confront it head on, spiritually or otherwise, just confront it!

Chat wit you guys later joor!

3 comments:

  1. Very pathetic and good food for thought ,however there is a day of judgement coming,when all deeds will be confessed ,so it's good to hold on

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  2. I cheat on my husband and I have no regrets. I am married to a monster.

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  3. well it shouldnt happen but smetimes one just finds herself doing such.distance isnt too good for a marriage.when dere is too much distance it can get you distracted and lonely especially wen d oda patner is too busy and rarely pays attention.from d story u shared,every woman i know lykes or should i use needs attention,when that is not dere den it can make one feel unwanted.but lyk u said dere is no excuse for cheating becos God disapproves of it.everyone has different reasons for doing things.may God help us nd forgive of all the wrongs

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