GOSH! MY ONIONS HAVE LASTED!!

Just when I had started believing that not all housekeepers or maids were thieves, my come-and-go housekeeper had to disprove that fact. And my goodness, her age! Na wah O! Theiving has no age limit sha!

For as long as I can remember, I have always had live-in maids because I thought that was the wiser thing to do especially, considering the fact that I had young kids. But if truth be told, they are usually useless after 7pm except if you are an extremely dependent and lazy housewife!

Anyways, I soon found out that these so-called live-in maids had a different agenda which if not discovered on time could crumble the home you sweated for. So I opted for come-and-go maids (and elderly for that matter) who would have no agenda as such, or so I presumed.

This one I got, looked like she fit into the criteria I needed. She appears to be in her early/late 40s and she has grown up kids, the last being 9yrs old. She looks like she could and would not hurt a fly or a soul, devout muslim, quiet and not a talker. Wetin consign me, make she do the work well. I simply told her before she resumed work that I despised stealers and liars! All she needed to do was ask and it would be hers (of course as long as it was convenient for me).

To cut story short, she was doing well for about 3mths when I started noticing that my older kids' clothes, under-wears and stockings seemed to be missing in ones and twos. I just thought maybe my kids were just careless and so didn't bother raising an alarm. And since I hadn't been complaining, she moved to my foodstuffs! You see, I wouldn't have bothered if I were the domesticated type who enjoyed the luxury of cooking and going to the foodmarket...well, sorry to disappoint you, I HATE COOKING, WASHING, GOING TO THE MARKET,ETC. That is not to say I don't do them but any opportunity to avoid them, I would!

So you see, for that reason, I love to plan ahead, I get the major household things in bulk which includes my onions...now it's the issue of the onions that prompted me to vent this way. I noticed my onions which would normally last for a month, lasted only for about 2weeks. And that's weird, considering the fact I don't cook like that. So, I set a trap for her. One day I noted I had 50 onions left and when I checked soon after she left, it was down to 42...Hmmm!

The next day she came and found my pantry locked with almost all her favourite things in it (rice, knorr cubes, cereal, my favourite spices, etc)! She should learn to ask without stealing and leaving me disorganised! She wasn't happy for a while but that one consign am! Soldier come,Soldier go! All the coming-emptyhanded-and-going-with-a-full-bag stopped. *Hehehehe* *laughing in chinese*

Now, she has started asking for things the proper way...but I still keep my stuffs under lock and key! *sticking tongue out*

BEAUTY FROM THE INSIDE IS WHAT COUNTS

It' so nice to have a nice relationship with your kids especially the one where you get to talk to them just about anything.

Trust..during one of my lazy days, I stumbled on an article posted on someone's blog, and I think every mother with a daughter should read this...

I admit it: I like pretty toenails. And sometimes I like to get pedicures.

The other day, when I came home from one, my 7-year-old daughter asked me why she couldn’t get a pedicure, too. I have always tried to teach her that beauty comes from the inside, and that people who are nice and strong (think: self-confident) look more beautiful. But in the age of mani/pedi parties for 5-year-olds and child spa treatments, what message was my child receiving? Was I contributing to it? And most importantly, how would I help my daughter develop a healthy body image, without the need to depend only on external factors, like clothes, hair, and makeup?

With glossy fashion magazines and celebrities, many girls start feeling the pressure to have the “perfect” body and flawless skin. This can get to the point of not feeling happy if they don’t measure up to those idols, and sometimes can lead to feelings of depression, low self-esteem, and eating disorders. It’s really important as parents to start delivering the message of positive self-esteem and positive body image early to help kids survive that societal pressure. So how can we do this?

Here’s what I’ve found works, as a pediatrician and mom:

- Mention what’s positive about a person. I will often point out circumstances when my daughter has worked hard at homework or has been responsible.

- Emphasize qualities other than looks. I show excitement when she plays soccer or paints a picture.

- Teach your child about advertising and airbrushing. It’s never too early for kids to know.

So after my pedicure, I talked with my daughter about how being strong, good, and kind makes you more beautiful than anything you have on the outside. We talked about how people who look pretty but are mean are not so pretty — and how a person who is wonderful and generous is appreciated, no matter how they look. She was satisfied that day, but I knew we’d need to have this conversation many more times.

Has your daughter asked you about makeup or celebrities? How did you handle it?

 I hope you enjoyed it.



 Courtesy WebMD

HOW HAPPY IS YOUR MARRIAGE?

Good morning Ladies! 

Time for Truth Telling. Let's face it, we know that marriage is not a fairy tale and indeed, needs a lot of hard work. But if truth be told, most women and men are not happy in and with their marriages.

Not to worry, we shall get to the bottom of this problem but first, we will start with taking a poll!

I want to hear from you married NHW readers: How happy is your marriage? Type the appropriate letter that best describes your marriage in the box below.

 #you don't have to put your real name. If you fail to choose an answer, then it's a proof that your marriage is unhappy and you are living in denial! FYI, this is the first step in repairing your marriage.

How Happy Is Your Marriage?:

a. My marriage is very happy

b. My marriage is happy enough

c. My marriage is somewhat unhappy

d. My marriage is unhappy

LOSING YOURSELF IN MARRIAGE

 I lay on my cosy bed the other day and thought to myself...Why do women lose their sense of self in marriage? When I say 'sense of self', I mean one's own identity.

Having a great sense of self is to my understanding, a pre-requisite to having a great marriage. I have met lots of women and I must say, with my little interaction with them, they do not really portray a true picture of who they are or want to be! Sometimes, I sense something more begging to be unleashed from inside of them but they hold that 'thing' back! And I ask "Why?"

Wives,you need to develop your sense of self in order to communicate your needs and desires to your husbands. This way you will not feel threatened in your marriage and it will also help you appreciate and love those qualities in your husband that make him a unique person.

Don't go into marriage and then forget who you used to be that got your husband interested in the first place. After marriage and babies, a lot of wives think "It's time for me to play the mama/grandma role and drop all those nice clothes" Please, bring your sexy back this minute!!

If you have a great sense of self, you won't be tempted to get into your husband's space! Yes, I said it! We should set emotional boundaries. Give your husband breathing space. Just because you don't have a life doesn't mean he shouldn't!

Spend time alone and find out who you are or want to be and reap the results of true happiness and intimacy in marriage. You will soon discover that your value and worth as a wife is not necessarily dependent on your husband.

Here are tips on how you can get your groove back ( I hope you like it):

• Do what you really desire (as long as it doesn't affect your job as a wife or as a mother)
• Build your intellectual abilities e.g read novels, magazines,etc. In short, be aware!
• Work on your emotional problems. Quit blaming people. What makes you so insecure?
• Work on your social life. Hang out with positive and spiritually inclined people. 
• Pamper yourself for goodness sakes. Make you happy and feel good. It keeps you re-energized for your husband and possibly children.
• Identify what you value most. Getting in touch with who you are at that core level will allow you to maintain your ability to give. 

TALK ABOUT 'DEATH' WITH 5 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER!!

I mean...who wishes to have this sort of conversation with her own daughter talkless of a 5yr-old!! I am supposed to be talking about the birds, the trees and other beautiful things created by God, but No! It had to be about death!

My daughter woke up this morning and sprawled lazily on my bed (since she has refused to leave my bed!), the conversation started:

Daughter: Mummy, I would like to see Jesus.
Me: (shocked and pausing for a moment)...Well you only get to see Jesus when you die. And you are not dying now.
Daughter: But I want to see Jesus now!
Me: Look sweetheart, I bet Jesus doesn't want to see you...at least not now! He will probably love to see you in your very old age, same as us too.
Daughter: ok
Me: Hey...but you can see Jesus in each and everyone of us because He lives in us.
Daughter: When Grandpa died and he went to heaven, did he see Jesus?
Me: Yes, I am pretty sure he did. He is now an angel.
Daughter: Hmmm. Was he sick?
Me: Yes
Daughter: Then why didn't he go to the hospital?
Me: He did. But God called him and he had to answer. When God calls you, you have to leave whatever you are doing and answer His call.
Daughter: Hmmm. Ok!

And the conversation ended. Phew! I didn't see that coming! Well...this must be a Reality Check! We are all going to die one day sha.

DISSOLUTION OF MARRIAGE DUE TO WIFE'S HOT TEMPER

A three year-old marriage between Mustafa Kudus and Saidat Mustafa was dissolved, Wednesday, by an Ilorin Area Court over the wife's hot temper.

40-year-old Kudus who resides in Gambari area, Ilorin, had earlier prayed the court to dissolve his marriage to Saidat, due to her 'uncontrollable hot nature'.

The plaintiff further told the court that his wife gets provoked easily and reacts negatively to everything around her.

"My wife has fought with every member of our neighbourhood and family friends, due to her uncontrollable aggression," he said.

He mentioned an experience he had with his wife were she grabbed his cloth in the presence of her friends, accusing him of not giving her enough money to buy foodstuff.

According to the husband, their marriage was contracted in 2010 and had produced one male child, Sheriff.

"My Lord, I want an end to this marriage because I cannot cope with a woman that lacks calmness and can't control her temperament," said the complainant.

The defendant, Sa'idat did not object to the prayer of the plaintiff but said her husband complained a lot and prayed the court to grant the prayer of her husband without any claim.

Mr Yusuf Abdulkareem, the presiding Judge dissolved the marriage and issued a certificate of divorce to the plaintiff.

...Fellow wives, I hope you are learning?! 

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR HUSBAND LOVES YOU

A lot of we wives are usually misguided by our husbands especially when they tell us "I love you"...and that's where it ends...just plain Words!

Now, not to worry, I think these tips might help to guide us better! *sticking tongue out*

1. Action speaks louder than words! After saying those words, he should prove it by doing some house chores with or for you, he can give you more money *wink*, take you out more often.

2. Ask him what he thought of you the first time he laid his eyes on you. His answers will tell his true feelings for you.

3. When you talk, he LISTENS not HEARS!! A lot of people hear but don't listen.

4. He takes commitment seriously by being faithful.

5. You both do a lot of stuff together.

6. When you give your husband space to nurture his individuality, you reap good results! Trust me, he gives more of himself to you!  So to you Policing-wives, quit policing!

7. Watch how your husband's father relates with his wife or how he treats his wife. It's probably a glimpse of what you will be getting from his son, your husband!

8. Men think about sex all the time...so just ensure you are the one he fantasizes about!

9. Husbands love it when their wives initiate sex...so do not dull yourself!

...you can add to the list O!

PREGNANCY OF MORE THAN TEN MONTHS!! SERIOUSLY?!

Wifeys, I don't mean to burst your bubble talkless of poking it! But now, I am beginning to get seriously disgusted.

I just met a lady who appeared to be heavy with child and she was even moving like one. I even said, "Eeyah, pele O!" and then asked her when she was due. She said it all depends on the Lord, that she was ready for labour any time! I thought she was joking and offered to laugh! So I said, "Seriously, how old is your pregnancy?" She replied by saying "1yr 3mths". Yikes!

I asked if she had done any scan to show or prove it was a baby in there. She said she didn't think it was necessary because it would mean doubting God. And she left it at that and I didn't even bother changing her mind set.

Please if you know you are carrying 'pregnancy' of more than 10mths, IT IS NOT PREGNANCY O! Don't be delaying your own normal God-given pregnancy. Go and find out what is occupying your womb and take it out if need be.

The longer you leave the fake pregnancy, the more precious time you will be wasting! It is most likely FIBROIDS!!...and you are probably in heart failure!

IS INFREQUENT SEX IN MARRIAGE = CHEATING HUSBAND?

Please, don't ask why I have not been blogging...Isn't it obvious that some of us are still in the festive mood! Shops and others go close to enjoy xmas and new year tinz, then it will now be only me that will not close to enjoy parry tinz!

Anyways, Happy New Year ma peeps! Today's question for my fellow colleagues according to the argument I had with a friend today is "Does infrequent sex in marriage mean that your husband may be cheating on you?". You know why I am asking? This my friend is so convinced her husband has a side-chic. I don't know what to tell her again. Meanwhile, I know the husband O! The man does not have time for woman and besides, his kind of work does not even allow him to sneak a peek at other women. More so, he comes home late at night!

I don tell am say, there are other reasons why he may not be able to perform at night which she should look into:- resentment, exhaustion, stress and other things. The irony of everything is that sex relieves stress, therefore, lack of it can become an additional source of stress, which will only compound the problem.

To break a sex slump, try eliminating all the sources of stress in your wife’s life. Do the dishes, clean the bathroom and send the kids to Grandma’s. You’ll be surprised by the effect a clean and quiet house has on your partner.

But then again, one can never tell!... Most men cannot be trusted. As much as I would hate to admit this,  infrequent sex in this part of our world could mean cheating. Really, but do you expect me to tell my friend that?!

Well, my take on this issue is that before any woman jumps into the conclusion of infidelity as the main cause of their poor sex life in marriage, they should explore other likely reasons. 

Have a blessed day!