I don't understand couples who say they are too busy or too tired to spend time together. Unless they are building roads all day or running a multi-national corporation, they have only just lost sight of priorities.
If you wish to stay connected and happy in your marriage, my advice to couples is to never be too tired or too busy to rekindle the love for your partner. When your life is nearly over, you will regret it if you look back and recall the days and nights you guys spent quarelling instead of making love!
Here are some useful tips.
1. The most important thing for any couple trying to get along is to think before you speak. If you are bickering and find that you are getting angry, take a deep breath and change course, and ask your partner to do the same.
2. If you want your relationship to survive and to thrive, you will have to train yourself to focus most of your attention on the person you have sworn to love till death do you part. When your sweetheart comes into the room, whether it's just from taking care of some chores in the home or from a long day at work, your job is to verbally express how much you love him or her. Don't keep the feeling inside. Trust me, those words "I love you" go a long way.
3. Some people have affairs because they tell themselves that they deserve more attention than they get at home. Or maybe they get annoyed because they feel that all of their needs aren't getting met by their partner. Well, whoever told them that one person could meet their every need? You can actually live quite comfortably without having all of your needs met. Just be content and No 'Oju kokoro'!
4. Always keep in mind that "You are not perfect, and neither is your partner", but you can make a very pleasant life together if you are both serious about providing the love and support that go along with a marriage.
5. It's true that when babies start arriving, there isn't much time left for romantic gestures. But the wonderful thing about romance is that it is the quality, never the quantity, that matters. So when the baby is sleeping or not just in the way, couples can create some quality time together like they can write love notes to each other and slip them in between the clean diapers. Just be creative and you will see how your love will flourish.
6. Couples should try and be open about their financial status. So this means that if you have any financial secrets you are keeping from your partner, you must put them on the table. Doesn't that sound scary? I am sure it does, but as with so many unpleasant things that only get bigger and stronger in the dark, these secrets have a funny way of shrinking in the light of the truth.
Being open will help your wife or husband be less demanding or be less expectant of you financially. There will be better planning.
7. I think the place where good marriages break down is when one or both parties begin to take the other person for granted. For example when husbands come home from work and ignore their wives who have stayed up for them, by watching TV and they claim that they are trying to relax! There is a difference between relaxing and disengagement. That example given is disengagement!
8. Please keep your anger in check. When one is angry, regrettable words are used, words that can't be taken back. Try not to deliberately hurt your loved ones during these 'evil' moments!
If you have more tips, you can add yours...
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