MY HUSBAND USED CHARM TO MARRY ME

A 29-year-old medical student, Mrs Ariyike Adebiyi, has appealed to an Agege Customary Court, Lagos, to dissolve her marriage to her husband because he was a dropout.

Ariyike, a student of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun, told the court on Tuesday, that her marriage to 33-year-old Femi was a mirage as he had used charm to compel her to marry him.

She said, "I can't imagine myself married to a dropout, if not that he charmed me. My marriage to Femi is nothing but a mirage.

"I wanted to use Femi as my case study when I was writing my project, but it turned out to this mess. My family did not allow me to go with him after our engagement ceremony. I packed my things to his house two months after the engagement and was maltreated by his family," she said.

She added that her husband drinks, smokes Indian hemp and comes home late at night, but she stayed on in the marriage because she was pregnant. When she gave birth, her mother was the one that settled the bills as her husband did not show up at the hospital.

Femi, an estate agent had told the court that his parents-in-law prevented his wife from following him to his house after their engagement, adding that they prevented him from seeing his wife and child.

"I want the court to dissolve the union and grant me the access to my child,'' he prayed.

Ariyike is also seeking the custody of their one-year-old child.

The Court President, Mr Emmanuel Sokunle, told the couple to maintain the peace, and adjourned the case to Nov. 5 for judgment.

HATERS AND LOSERS - BY CHARLY BOY

I just had to share this interesting article written by Charley Boy. This guy is deeply intelligent and I am just loving him more. He has helped summed up all my questions...so I am good to go.

The other day I was at the departure hall at Nnamdi Azikewe airport waiting for my flight. I was tucked away at a corner, from people's preying eyes, at least so I thought. My flight was delayed so I had about 2hrs to kill. As I reached into my backpack to get my iPad and keep myself busy till boarding time, a man with two teen girls approached me; they were all beaming with the most enchanting smiles I have ever seen.  "Charly these are my daughters, they’ve been worrying me that they want to take pictures with you” I obliged, as their father took position to capture a golden moment for his two teen daughters.
Before anyone could say Charly, the boy in me jumped out. There I was clowning around, making funny faces, as the girls caught the monkeying around bug. And to everyone's entertainment and amusement, we turned the whole departure hall into a photo studio and a runway, hummm! Oh boy come and see. All of a sudden most of the waiting passengers, teens, youths, mums and dads started to lineup for their own Kodak moments. Na who find trouble now? 

It is always at times like this that I feel special and loved, and all I want to do is give back that love to all the people showing me warmth.  Not too far from where I was displaying and forming model tins, from the corner of my eye, I caught a young man probably in his late 30s giving me some very dirty look. I don't think it was his frustration that got his face twisted with those hating eyes that kept piercing my smooth baby skin. Kai!!! If looks could kill, I would have been dead ten times over, no be small tin. You don't need to be psychic to know that the man is not a CharlyBoy lover, but a hater. Yesoooooooo! I may not be James Bond 007, but I assassinated that hater with my smile.

A hater is someone that just can't stand you, usually your success. They hate you for who you are. They are merchants of gossip and all malicious stories about you. They even like to recruit members into their haters club; on the Internet they hold sway. Haters hate you for your accomplishments, youthfulness, attractiveness, popularity, but guess what? Most of the time they don't even know why they hate on you. Some haters come from the lowest social ladder, they are as green and as ignorant as they come, I swear. These "winche" people are everywhere. For haters, hate is the only way they can cope and go on with their lives. They usually suffer some insecurity or inadequacies.
If you are on top your game, you must have haters, no escaping. I rather have real haters than fake fans. It is important to be mature in dealing with these prematures’. Being able to sift through people's envy and bad intention towards you for the valuable truth in their criticism is often a key to being great and surviving people's bad belle and nonsensical jargon. As my head kept playing back some very famous haters in my life and how they chopped all the bull shit and the shenanigans I dished out. A beautiful middle aged woman came to sit by my side. I have been watching you, she said. "How do you manage with people swooping all over you like that" referring to the short drama that just took place.  "I read your articles on Linda's blog all the time, most of all I admire your courage in being your authentic self, how did you build such a thick skin."

If I walk tall, how is that my fault? I live my life the way I please, how is that supposed to affect anybody’s peace. Shame if they think I care, shame if they think I would flair. I no send dem atall atall. Free Me!!!

Haters are usually people with little social consequence to you.  See dem, yahoo boys with no laptop. They are validation that you are a big deal. The more successful you are, the stronger, the more opinionated, I tell you, and the less you will be generally liked. But Hey! Cut yourself a slack and ignore haters.

Instead, focus on turning people who like your dream to people who love your dream. I have noticed that the average or the ordinary don't get bothered by haters, only outstanding people, “weird" people, crazy people, unusual people, in short, people who don't stand up never get stoned at.
Haters hate either because they don't understand or they can't imitate. Little do they know that their hating is their sincerest form of flattery. Haters only hate things they can't get or people they can't be. For me sha! I don't have time for haters, I have ignored
Haters, all my life I just keep doing what I do best, treating others with love and respect always. So! Don't waste your time with this silly hating game! Because dem no  see you dem no send you.

Culled from Linda Ikeji's blog.

EVEN HUSBANDS SUFFER PEER-PRESSURE.

I still can't understand why some 'fully-grown' married men find it difficult to say "NO" to some friends! 

Still beats me to see some married men go off to a Bach-eve without their wives! (Cos you can't trust some to respect and behave themselves, without carrying some 'ho!)

Still beats me when I see some husbands being a slave to liqour...they drink themselves to stupor!  What a shame! And you know what? They could have said "No" after the 1st or 2nd bottle. But they can't stand being teased by their so-called friends.

Can someone explain to me why some husbands can't get their sorry butts home at least before 12am...need I remind these 'kids' that you have a wife and children who would be worried at home? Instead, you prefer to listen to friends who urge you to stay on that what will you be doing at home! For crying out loud, you need to keep your a*#e safe! Duh?!

These husbands upset me when they hangout with friends who think it's 'A-OK' to cheat on your wives. They whine that it's alright to have another woman by the side. Jeez!

The most annoying bit is when a husband is encouraged by his useless friends to beat up his wife and he gets cheered at every beating cos he gives them a feedback!

I could go on and on but guess what? I have news for you!...you need to freaking grow up and be "The Man" you are meant to be!

DIARY OF A STEP-MOM

When people ask me if I have children of my own, I usually answer with an apologetic, "no." My brain then floods with a string of excuses from which I choose my next sentences depending on my listener's facial expression.

"I am an educator, so I have hundreds of children."
Sympathetic smile.

"I tried, but it wasn't in God's plan for me."
Sad nod.

"I have a brood of great nephews and nieces and love being an ideal aunt."
Uncomfortable laughter.

Nearly seven years post-menopause, I still have people gently pat my hand and tell me there's still time. After acknowledging the unintentional compliment, I make a joke about a miracle.

My identity as a married woman without children took an odd turn when, at age 50, I remarried a divorced father of two teens. From all outward appearances, I now have a unique version of the life I always imagined for myself. I am quick to post online photographs of my newfound family, while friends and relatives are quick to celebrate my status.

But here's the reality: For the entire first year, I felt more childless as a stepmother than I did before I remarried.

My husband's children like me well enough; we get along fine. They are respectful, obedient, charming, funny and affectionate young people, just like my students and my nieces and nephews. The difference with students is that you see them everyday and the relationship expectation is bold and clear: As a teacher, you may be the one person who makes a significant difference in the direction of their lives. And the boundaries of these relationships are also clear and agreed upon in advance.

Similarly, the beloved aunt has her special, clearly understood place: blood-bond; in no uncertain terms family; you can't get rid of her if you want to; and the added bonus of similar-looking noses, curly hair or a quirky laugh that only shared genes can transmit.

As a stepmother, I am proud to say that I have none of the jealousies found in young wives who dream of having a man all to themselves, despite the fact that he has children from a previous marriage. I am a self-made woman, so nothing material they receive from their father is in any way a sacrifice on my part. The shopping, cooking and cleaning that many young stepmothers complain about is taken care of by my husband, who sees his children so seldom that he delights in any care-taking they need. And they are teens, so self-sufficiency is growing as quickly as their feet.

Yet, I still feel disingenuous calling them my children. They aren't. Even though they have bedrooms in our house, I sometimes feel like a guest at the dinner table. The discussions about past holidays, childhood remembrances, blood relatives, insider jokes, lifelong likes and dislikes leaves me feeling like a an outsider and causes me to be even more aware of what I missed in not having children. It's kind of lonely being a stepmother. It tends to keep pushing the lack in your face. To compound this, I don't cook like their mother. The ways I bundle socks, line up condiments in the refrigerator, load the dishwasher, sometimes grimace, burp or (god forbid) fart are clearly noticed as foreign and gross, but never commented on because they have learned to be polite in the company of strangers. I am an outsider. My gifts are suspiciously viewed as trying too hard. The framed photographs of my family are just a bunch of strangers on a once familiar mantle. My dog smells bad to them. Still, as far as step-mothering experiences go, I know I have it really good. It's just that being a stepmother is nothing like I thought (or dare I admit, hoped) it would be.

As soon as I knew marriage was the next step in my relationship with Jeff, I began writing letters to his children to give them at our wedding. As a stepdaughter myself, I knew everything necessary to alleviate the anxiety of displacement the kids could feel when I entered their father's life. So, I wrote letters explaining how much Jeff loved them and described all the ways he showed me he honored them, missed them, loved them, grieved for their company when we were not with them. I was determined to be as unthreatening as possible. The unopened letters sit still wrapped in the white satin ribbon on my stepdaughter's desk.

As soon as we were engaged, I took it upon myself to try and befriend their mother, as well as speak highly of her in their company, even though she drives by me on the street without as much as a wave. Alone time is important to dads and their kids, so whenever it is appropriate, I bow out and let them have bonding outings without me. They are kind children, but they don't need me in their lives. Not now, at least.

I dreamed of being asked for advice, attending their school functions, introducing them to my friends and family. I imagined sharing secrets, fixing warm soup when they felt badly or listening to their hopes and fears. I envisioned text messages, phone calls, long walks in the park, doing dishes together, meeting their friends.

They are teenagers.Their parents got divorced. It's not about me.

But there is still time.

Being a good stepparent is about the future. It's like a bank account where a lifetime of little deposits may one day return as a great gift of appreciation. At least that is what I am banking on. My hope is that one day, after years of my consistent generosity, they will love me. And this love will be different than the love they feel for their teachers or their aunts because I will see them through all that is yet to come.

When they graduate, I will be there. When they fail, I will be there. If they marry, if they are heartbroken, if they have children, when they get promoted or fired, I will be there. And even if they are never able to meet my expectations, I know that love endures and is well worth all the tiny griefs along the way.

Loving someone with no promise of any return is a sacred kind of love. Because of its unconditional nature, a true stepmother who loves mightily from the background is maybe one of the truest forms of parenting. While I am not a birth mother, I now know that I am a universal mother. For me, that is more than enough.

By Jennifer Fox

Culled from Huff Post

SHE TURNS OUT TO BE HIS SON'S WIFE!

I thought it was only in Nigeria this happened! Ojigbijigbi!

A man who met a woman online was shocked to discover that she was actually his son’s wife when they met for the first time.
Wang, the 57-year-old Chinese man, arranged to meet Lili at a hotel in Muling City in the Heilongjiang province when he made the awkward discovery.
If that was not strange enough, Wang’s son (and Lili’s husband) Da Jun had followed her to the rendezvous after discovering her online liaison and was equally disturbed to find his father waiting for her.

Wang said: ‘How could the person who gets a room with me be my son’s wife?’

In a rage, his son Da Jun allegedly beat Wang and his wife causing her to lose three teeth.
Wang, who used the online alias ‘Good at understanding others,’ had retired two years before and enjoyed meeting people online.
Lili was a stay-at-home mother and her husband Da Jun was a long-haul cargo truck driver who spent long stretches away for work. She went by the alias ‘Lonely flowers and plants’.
The pair met on an online chat room one night and decided to send each other a picture of themselves. Lili sent a photograph of an attractive friend while Wang sent one of a friend from his days in the military.
Happy with what they saw, the pair arranged to meet at a hotel in the city at 6pm one night.
Wang claimed to be the director of a company and that he was single after his wife had died two years before.
Lili said her husband was serving a five-year jail sentence for brawling and that she lived at home with her son.
On the day of the fateful meeting, Da Jun arrived home from a long-haul trip from Harbin ahead of schedule only to discover Lili’s online discussions with ‘Good at understanding others’. He also saw evidence of her rendezvous plans.
In a bid to catch her red-handed, Da Jun phoned his wife and told her he had to leave again for work. Not suspecting the ruse, Lili dropped their son off at her parent’s house and travelled to the hotel.
When Wang opened the door, Lili was shocked to find that the man was in fact her father-in-law. In shock, she said, ‘this was a misunderstanding,’ and turned to leave the hotel when Da Jun revealed himself and confronted the pair.
Da Jun said: ‘I’m out there working my ass off to earn money, half-dead with fatigue, and all the while you two are messing around.’
As he beat his father, hotel staff called the police who detained all three.
Officers from the Bamiantong Town Muling City police station questioned Wang and Lili while Da Jun was detained for five days for assaulting his father.



Hmmm....speechless.
READ MORE:  http://news.naij.com/50636.html

READ MORE:  http://news.naij.com/50636.html

YOUR HUSBAND IS A MAMA'S BOY...

I know there are some wives who are having issues with their mother in-laws (MIL) especially when it concerns their husbands. They are not sure who the 'real' wife is!

Some MILs move into their son's home as soon as they get married...permanently, abandoning their own husbands! Their excuse is that " there is no one to take care of me". Meanwhile, she might have like 5 other children and this her son my just be the 1st or last son or child or in some worst case scenarios, only son or only child.
 

Now, without dragging this topic, your husband is a mama's boy if he fits into any of this category:-
 

- he can't make any decision without consulting his mother.
- he entrusts the affairs of your home in his mother's care.
- every quarrel, arguments, gossip, in short, everything that happens in your marriage, your MIL has first hand knowledge. In some cases, you are kept in the dark.
- your husband depends on her for financial assistance.
- your MIL is the first person he runs to in time of need.
- he cannot complete a sentence without including "my mum" or "my mother".
 

I have seen cases whereby it is a man's mother who decides which or what woman is suitable for her son. Sometimes, she may go as far as breaking up the marriage and getting another wife for him, especially in infertility cases.
 

I know some bad situations where the MIL instructs her son to beat his wife when she 'misbehaves' and some idiotic husbands actually do it, even in front of her. *hisses*
 

Well, all I can say to you, wifey, if you have entered the marriage, just pray. If it is the marriage that involves domestic violence, sweetheart, please be a coward and exit that home and if possible marriage!
 

As for you husbands, grow up!!

 

Finally, my dear wifeys, add this to your prayer point- knowledge, understanding and wisdom. Ask for patience, guidance from the Holy spirit and God's protection (especially from the fetish in-laws).

HOW TO HELP A HUSBAND WITH A WEAK ERECTION

Wifeys, please read this. Even though I have blogged about 'Erectile Dysfunction', I still think you should read this article I stumbled on.

Erectile dysfunction is a common phenomenon in many marriages. About 30 per cent of married men are said to suffer from it at one stage or the other of their life.Some are able to get over it while some never do. But its been discovered that the role the wife plays during this stage of her husband's life goes a long way in determining whether or not he will get over it.

Today, I am writing on what I have discovered as ways women react to erection problems of their husbands, and you will appreciate why no effort should be spared at ensuring good sexual performance from our husbands. It also promises to serve as help to women who are still facing the problem of erectile dysfunction in marriage.

The first reaction of some women to their husband's weak erection, which usually results to lack of sexual fulfillment, is having an extra-marital affair. It is amazing to know the increasing rate of extra-marital affairs among women today owing to erection problem of their husbands.

Many women, not wanting to be tagged promiscuous, or to make their husbands feel bad about their erection problem, find solace in having extra-marital affairs, in order to fill in the gap created by the sexual situation in their marriage.Though, this is wrong because extra-marital affairs have terrible consequences on the marriage. This is not to underscore the trauma a woman faces when she is not sexually fulfilled in the marriage. It can be highly annoying and hugely unsatisfying for a woman to be taken on a flight, and then dropped mid-air to go crashing down. This is why we must do everything possible to ensure sexual satisfaction in marriage. Couples must therefore spare no effort in that direction, since it is achievable.

One of the signs of the pressure that weak erection puts on couples is nagging and blackmail on the part of the wife. As a result of lack of sexual pleasure, some women just express their frustration and displeasure by nagging and blackmailing their husbands. Statements such as "do you also call yourself a man?", "why do you want to punish me with your sexual advances leading to nothing?", "do you want me to die with emotional pains you inflict on me?", "Is this what you call sex? Better go and ask your friends what sex is all about" become regular.

Some other wives use the erection problem of their husbands to blackmail him before third parties during resolution of marital disputes to cover their own weaknesses. They are quick to point to the fact that their husbands do not perform adequately in the matter of sex, thus frustrating them.

Women should note that nagging or blackmail is not the solution to the erection problem at this stage; rather,it would get worse. When the man is subjected to nagging and black mail, you deflate his ego and make him feel stupid, and of no use to any woman.

The worst of all the reactions of wives to erection problem in marriage is divorce, which becomes an outcome of extra-marital affairs. For some women, their frustration over erection problem may lead to leaving their husbands for another man, from whom they hope to derive sexual pleasure. This may be due to the fact that some wives do not want to engage in extra-marital affairs, or for some, because they find great pleasure already in extra-marital affairs, thus desiring it on a permanent basis without the fear of being caught by their husbands.This is not the right solution since erection problem is treatable. In most cases, it is not a permanent situation, but a temporary one that can be overcome if the couples will give their best to finding solutions to it. All it requires is the full cooperation of the parties involved and the situation will soon become history.

Another reaction of wives to the erection problem in their marriage is to stand by their husbands to work out a solution. This is done in a loving manner without battering their male ego. This is achieved by encouraging the husband not to feel bad about the situation. Rather, he should go all out to get the available help as she stands by him. Furthermore, the wife should be ready to help him work through some therapies requiring her cooperation. These include the squeeze method which is helpful in abolishing the desire to climax prematurely; stop and start method to reduce stimulation, and changing sex positions for better performance from the husband.

The wife can also engage in other activities relating to her hobbies, religion, or passion to stem her sex drive considerably.It is worthy of the woman to note how relieving it is to the husband to have her emotional support in all things, including sexual problems. Now, there will be two people in love fighting the battle together, and like the Christian faith says, two are better than one, for they have a good reward for their labour.

A woman whose husband is passing through this stage must do everything possible to boost their male ego because how a man feels about himself plays a major role in winning this fight against weak erection. And to a great extent, your man's self-esteem is dependent on you. Men with wives who believe in them tend to believe in themselves than men wives who don't believe in them. A man whose self esteem is battered will definitely lose this battle. So, please avoid doing anything that can ruin his self-esteem.

Wives can also help their husbands get erection through various stimulations initiated by them. Such include stimulation with the hands, the breasts, or the mouth.

To help the wives cope better in situation of weak erection, and secure their cooperation, husbands must talk to their wives in order to:Affirm the love they share.That they still find their wives attractive.That they are not having affairs, which is taking its toll on their sexual performance.

(See, who ever wrote this is completely right but what I wan ask is: if say nah the woman wey get similar problem, will these same husbands be understanding and patient?! Now, see how much is expected of a woman....just saying my own O!)

GUILTY PLEASURES - THE MOVIE

Please can someone tell me where I have been all these years when this movie was released?

I stumbled on this movie while I was getting ready to go to work O! See me, see devil! That was how work ended for me that day. I was spellbound, is it the storyline, or the fantastic actors/actresses?! In fact, THUMBS UP GUYS!

Believe me when I say I have never really been a fan of Rukky Sanda ( I just think she can't act, forget the money and beauty) but after this movie....Rukky you got me thinking again.

Please who knows this chic, Nse Ikpe Etim? I love you die, you are complete O! I have watched some of the movies you starred in and you have consistently failed not to disappoint me!

Ramsey Nouah, you looked and acted mean in the movie, I sure hope you are not a real life 'demon'! All the same you were good.

Meanwhile, the real reason why I think you should watch the movie is that a lot of wives will identify with 'Elizabeth' (Nse) who is married to Ramsey in the movie. She was neglected, body and soul by her husband and every time she complained, he heard her but didn't listen to her. This continued until she became really close to his brother (Majid). This closeness turned to romance until Ramsey found out in a horrible way and after everything, the marriage ended.

What I am saying is that marriages do not have to be that way. As couples, we should constantly find ways to rekindle the spark in the marriage. All that women really want (apart from money...so that some husbands don't get it twisted) is a healthy amount of affection and attention. It's nice when the husband rolls out the doe (actually sexy...so if you know as a husband you have not been spending on your wife, please start) but please take time to appreciate her physically and emotionally (before your male colleagues help you do it)! Lol! I dey take style find trouble!

( I don't even know why I am helping these people market their movie when dem no dey give me shishi. Mscheew!)

WIFE MEETS MISTRESS - THE SHOWDOWN

Remember the story...when my friend met her husband's mistress. Well, if you haven't read the beginning of the story, scroll back to previous post on this same issue.

My people, nah so I carry myself go the party that was supposed to be a double 'whammy' enjoyment galore ( the party and the SHOWDOWN). Even my hussy follow me go (*eyes rolling* him too like gist). As usual, nice set-up, food looking good and well set on the table...a buffet I presume, cool music ( which will soon be hot, or so I thought) and guests were trickling in.

All the while I kept watching my friend and her hussy, basically to see what would happen next...Nothing! And this 'nothing happened till the end of the party! Aaaaarrrrggghhh! That is it...no SHOWDOWN!

Well, according to my friend, days before the party and few minutes into the party, she guessed her husband knew something was amiss and he started carrying this sober face, coming home early from wherever and staying at home! And from what the mistress told wifey, she had stopped sending her husband all those "I love you" and "I miss you" notes. She (mistress) had also stopped warming up to him like before, so, that must have also contributed to his changed behaviour. Since mistress dey form cold, the wife had become even nicer and more loving. (Meanwhile, all my friend's niceness was basically to warm up for the showdown! *evil* Lol!)

Anyways, to cut story short, on the D-day of the party, the husband was overwhelmed by the love, care and time his wife had taken to make the party happen, that he couldn't hold himself back and asked to see my friend, his wife privately, even with the guests around. Yikes! She said all she had to do was look into his face and guessed what he wanted to say...so she refused, not wanting her husband to spoil show for her and mistress. But her husband insisted and dragged her to their study room. What he did next, threw her off balance...he knelt down on his 2 knees, crying and begging, confessing his behavior in the past one year, blah, blah, blah. She just looked down at him with feelings of disgust, anger, 'killing eye' and after everything, while he waited for her reaction, she said just 4 words in an extremely cold way,"I have always known!" She said her husband almost died on the spot ( yes now, this kind of woman fit kill person)!

The following day, her husband insisted she followed him to his mistress's house so that he would come out clean, confess to her and then end the relationship. That he wanted to turn over a new leaf. She sha followed him and believe me you (or is it you me sef) it was a horrible scenario...the mistress was like a woman scorned...just imagine Jezebel really angry (Lol!). And while they left after saying their bit and her husband apologising, she kept shouting "I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE HIM BACK!!" (Fayear! How she no go take her husband back. Last last, he go hear Ween!)

So you see girls, that is how my day of 'SHOWDOWN' ended O! Mscheeew! But I am happy because after everything, my friend got her husband back. In you face, husband snatcher!!

Final lesson for all the single girls dating 'big-boys' and have intention of marrying them, go and do a background check on your supposedly rich 'Mr Charming and Single, so that you won't lose out at the end of the day! Na you go surely lose! You cannot reap where you did not sow, you just cannot! I will be praying for y'all.

In the blogs to come, I will reveal to you what my friend's husband gave as the reason or reasons for cheating or having an affair. It's quite humiliating and degrading to the female species....but God dey. *shaking my head*

WHY DO WIVES MAKE ALL THE HOUSEHOLD DECISIONS?

My fellow colleagues, that is my question for today.

I have been wondering if it is a good or bad thing. Am I the only one wondering?!

Because some men are just 'big babies'. If you have 2 children, just add 1 more making 3 (your husband inclusive).

This question came up while I was gisting with a friend yesterday. She had just gotten into a fight with her hussy. She has 3 kids whom she caters for, does school runs alone for. She pays the bills (her husband's business hasn't been fantastic), handles the shopping, cooks, cleans and does laundry...meanwhile she has a full time job! I asked her "where does your husband come into all these?"  She then replies, "No where. I don't have a problem making all the home decisions as long as he makes all the money. Ok, now that his business is down, at least, let him help with some of the housework!" ( *cough*My dear friend, I don't know about that O! Even my husband doesn't lift a pin!)

Our husbands, on behalf of all 'wondering' wives, please now, we are NOT SUPERWOMEN! HELP US NAH!...ESPECIALLY WITH HOUSEWORK (even if you give us all the money)

MY BOSS, MY BOYFRIEND'S WIFE

All these home wreckers! My dears, my job is to continue enlightening you on happenings in our homes, our work and even our husbands' lives, especially the ones that form 'very busy in the hoffiz'!

Read on and share your thoughts on this matter because for me, it is not the fact that the stupid girl's boss is her boyfriend's wife but where she said that she has no intention of breaking up with him! Se this kind person no be candidate for midnight prayers?!

I'm confused I recently got a job and realized my immediate boss is my married boyfriend's wife.

I've had some meetings with this lady in the past, so imagine my shock at finding out she's my new boss.

But the weirdest part of this is, since I joined the company, she has never acted like we know each other from the past. I'm worried. So my question is this; should I also act like all is well and pretend like I don't know this woman, or should I just move on, leave the company and find work elsewhere?

As for the man we both share, I don't see us ever breaking up. And where I work is a place anyone would even wish to be hired as a contract staff.

Please advice, What Should I do? 

(Hmmmm....on top of the matter she still dey ask for advice. Mscheew! I throw arrows of problems into ya life!..until you leave her husband)

Culled from naij.com

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/50032.html

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/50032.html

CHEATING HUSBAND, LOVER FOUND DEAD AND NAKED IN ROOM

Na Wah O! Wonders will never cease to end!  One minute you leave your husband hail and hearty...alone at home, then another minute, you find him dead...naked and with a lover! It is not funny again...Prayers Mates!

Read on sha...

A married man and his lover were yesterday, found dead, naked in a room at Ago-Iwoye, in Ijebu North Local Government Area of Ogun State.

The man, identified as Akeem, believed to be in his 50s was living in a one room apartment with his wife and four children.

It was gathered that his wife and children had travelled to Imodi Imosan to celebrate sallah with  his families and he used the opportunity of their absence to invite his lover over. However, both he and his lover were found dead in the morning, in the room, with the man lying naked on the bed, while the lady’s body was on a two-seater couch.

According to investigation, Akeem and his legal wife was both fashion designer. They both own Alubarika Fashions  located at Atomotele compound in Igan road, Ago Iwoye.

According to one of his neighbour, who identified himself as Idowu Odunsi,“Akeem brought his lover to come and stay with him over the night, since his wife and children were not at home and when other tenants did not see Akeem in the morning, somebody hinted that he saw him with a lady inside the shop previous night, prompting us to go to his room".

Idowu said after several knock on the door without any response, they forced the door opened, only to discover the dead bodies.

Speaking on the incident, the Landlord of the house, where the late Akeem was living, 70 years,  Pa Oluwakemi Odunsi, said that deceased had slaughtered  his Eid -el Kabir ram that day, after which he informed him that he wanted to retire to his shop. "It was this morning (Wednesday) around 10a.m that I ordered that his shop door be forced opened, when we did not see him throughout the previous night and we behold the gory sight," he said.

Divisional Police Officer, Ago Iwoye Mr. Peter Idenhe, who led police team to the scene of the incident, said: “I suspect generator fume because we found some evidence of  generator n the same building where the deceased were.Though I cannot categorically determine the cause of the death until autopsy is carried out, preliminary investigation shows that they might have died from inhalation of generator fumes.”

Culled from naij.com

READ MORE: http://news.naij.com/49853.html

STILL ON THE BREAST MATTER....

Wow, I am thrilled to say that a lot of women do care about their breasts and their lives, not to mention their families. The number of women interested in the forum and who booked online is awesome, though the number can be better.

I still don't understand why some women wait till the last minute to book! Some have written personally begging for the forum to be shifted on a weekend because of school runs and office work. Of course, the date can be adjusted but the question now is "Saturday or Sunday?"...majority will win the vote, so start voting by sending NAME, AGE, PHONE NUMBERS AND DAY (WHETHER SATURDAY OR SUNDAY). Results will be announced on Sunday (this Sunday 20th).

Like I said, it is all about staying alive and healthy not being alive and sick! It will be an opportunity for you to ask Doctors questions pertaining to Breast Cancer and for those who have it, on how to deal with symptoms such as pain, as well as the psychological trauma. We will also get to learn how to feel the breasts properly for lumps and other things to look out for.

So if you like, miss out on this free opportunity. All I know is that when a woman dies from this preventable disease, the husband go mourn small and marry another wife, wey go probably maltreat her children. And the enjoyment wey the woman suppose to enjoy with her husband, na anoda woman go take her place. (I sound harsh abi, but na the truth be dat O!). Make we try abeg...as I dey write this message, one hand dey feel my breasts! Ok O! Be laffing!

I reject every spirit of breast cancer in our lives in Jesus name. I cast and bind any hovering evil lump, not just in our breasts and every part of our body in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.


P.S. For those of you tatafoo majors disturbing me about the party wey I attend for "WIFE MEETS MISTRESS"...hol on nah, gist dey come! One thing at a time. THE SHOWDOWN! is what I go download...hot gist! But make we finish this important one first.

WOMEN, PLEASE CHECK YOUR BREASTS!

It is not funny again (as if it ever was)! I am referring to those women who do not want to live to reap the fruits of their labour! What would it take you to feel your breasts for lumps or to look out for any obvious change in front of the mirror?

The rate at which women in their reproductive ages are coming down with Cancer of the Breasts is alarming. Now, even early 20 somethings are having breast cancer. I recently lost a friend to breast cancer and that is because it wasn't detected on time. And even when she found out, the thought of loosing her breast kept her further in denial. She wasted so much time that it gave the cancer room to grow, have 'children' and 'grandchildren'. The cancer had spread to the bone and the brain.

She died last month after battling the cancer for 1year, leaving behind 4 beautiful children and a sad husband. She was only 34years old.

I need a minute...

Let me remind you women again the factors that makes one prone to cancer:

1. The fact that you are a woman with breasts puts you at risk (put that in your head)
2. Early menstruation e.g a child that starts menstruating at about say 8yrs (Hmmm...prayers)
3. Early menopause (when you suddenly stop menstruating at about age of say 35yrs (who wouldn't be happy but mehn! not a good thing O!...prayers and see your gynaecologist)
4. Being older at the birth of your first child.
5. Never giving birth.
6. Not breastfeeding. (so if you like no give ya pikin milik!)
7. Long-term use of hormone-replacement therapy.(especially for women suffering from symptoms of menopause)
8. Family history of breast cancer in first degree relatives (mother, sister, daughter, father, son)
9. Excessive alcohol intake
10. Obesity
11. High intake of fatty foods
12. Lack of exercise
13. History of having another type of cancer in the body other than breast.
14. If it is in the genes (BRCA1 and BRCA2)
15. The older one gets, the more prone you are to it.

Anyway, the main issue is for you to always ensure you touch your breasts, menstruating or not menstruating, young or old. Cancer is no respecter of man!

Most women are having problems knowing how to examine the breasts even when they read it up on the internet. There is a technique to it. 

If you reside in Lagos, Naijahousewife is organising a Breast Cancer Awareness Forum for women on the 31st of October, 2013 at the Sickle Cell Centre, opposite Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) Idiaraba . Time 12pm prompt. Women will have a hands-on practical session on Self-Breast Examination. That way you will not say you do not know how to touch you breasts.

 It is absolutely free!

Interested participants should send their names, age and phone numbers to naijahousewife@gmail.com for bookings.

It's your life we are talking about here not anyone else's, so if you like ignore. It can be anybody. 

HOW TO PREVENT SAGGING BREASTS

Believe me when I say this remedy works! You know it's not easy being a mother, with all the breastfeeding and other tinz (I leave that to your imagination)!

In the beginning, as a chic and before the babies started rolling in, you might have started with a size 34B or at worst 36D. Then all of a sudden, after Baby 1, them breasts increase from that 34B to maybe a 38C or D (you think this is huge?) or maybe from the 36D to a 40F...Lol!...now this is annoyingly huge but not HUMUNGUS!! Remember, we are still on Baby 1 and then imagine Baby 2, 3 and 4 following through, these breasts will definitely fall!


Yes I accept it will fall, but the issue is how to keep them 'voluptuous' (that is full and still around the chest area such that when you wear a push up bra, you will have a cleavage to die for) and not the 'saggy' type (the one that extends all the way to the umbilical region with a stretched flat top..yuck!)

    TO THIS





For me, I found my way around it and that is to wear a firm bra round the clock immediately after Baby 1 popped outta me! During the day, I would wear a firmly fitted bra that would keep the 'girls' nicely locked in while at night I would wear a loosely fitted bra that would still hold the 'girls' up but will still be loose. 'Loose' been the key word because some of you no dey hear word. The reason for not wearing a firmly fitted bra round the clock is to decrease breast cancer risk. Wearing tight bras round the clock prevents the free and natural flow the lymphatic fluids which are designed to cleanse these toxins out of the breast tissues

Remember, the breasts are mere skin that are suspended on the chest wall. Therefore, gravity will naturally want to drag the 'girls' down if left hanging loose without support. A lot of wives go around the house braless especially with wrapper round their chest or those flimsy camisoles (otherwise known as 'spaghetti' straps). Sagging is worsened during breastfeeding. Imagine how saggy the breast will look over months with all that milk load dragging on them!

ANATOMY OF THE BREAST (cross-sectional view). You do not need to be a genius to understand this diagram! *eyes rolling*




So mates, that's my remedy and its working for me! You can share your own remedy if you have any.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY FAILED MARRIAGE

Before I got married, I always prayed I would marry the right person but what I failed to pray for, was the right attitude so that I could be the right person.

Looking back, I can see clearly now the mistakes I made. My ex-husband (Gosh, this word feels so weird) had his own role to play in the breakup, but like the Chinese man would say, "There is no excuse for failure".

They always said the man is the 'head' while the wife is the 'neck' and that without the neck, the head wouldn't stand. So true this is. I don't understand why all these is suddenly making sense! Or is it because I am suddenly experiencing problems.

First of all, I should have made God a foundation of my home. I didn't think it was all that important praying together as a family as long as we said our own individual prayers. Wrong! A family that prays together, stays together. God has a way of weathering the storms in the marriage.

Secondly, I involved too many people in my marital squabbles, especially my friends (or so I thought). How can you call people who advise you to leave your husband or watch you pack your things out of your house for no cogent reason, your friends?! Meanwhile, their homes are still intact. None of them asked me to intensify my prayers or even offered to pray for me.

Thirdly, I should never had involved my parents. Trust me, parents always take sides and they fight to finish! They never again see the good in your spouse even when they try to be better.

Fourthly, two wrongs don't make a right. I should have listened while my husband aired his thoughts but I always wanted to have the last word. In short we never listened to each other. I really wish I could turn back the hands of time so that I would wait patiently until I saw he was calmer and then explained better.

Lastly, I should never have moved out of my home during our fights, not even for a second. Major mistake. I should have remained and claimed my position. The minute you leave, a lot of things happen as it did in my case. I only needed a break, just for a while so as to clear my head. Hmmm...well you guessed right. 'She' moved in and would only leave when 'she' knew I was coming back. Believe me, I wish I knew the 'she' because they were too many!

Divorce is awful. Divorce is incredibly painful. God hates divorce. I have never believed in divorce but firmly believe it should be used as a last resort in extreme cases such as Domestic Violence or Intimate Partner Abuse.

I am not writing this to gain sympathy from people but to advise that one shouldn't readily choose divorce as an option. When your marriage is being threatened, that is the time for one to look inwards and see what you could change in oneself or improve. That is not the time to be apportioning blames on your partner.

Jenny.

MONOGAMY IS NOT DIFFICULT

Monogamy is not difficult -- honest conversations are. 

You're not good at monogamy? Stay single or find a polyamorous arrangement. Things not working out in the marriage? Speak up and make it work or get out honestly. Unless yours was a shotgun wedding, no one forces you to commit. Lost in the "monogamy is so hard" argument is personal choice. Don't agree to be someone you aren't.

Oh boo hoo, the pressure. Your parents want grandchildren and your girlfriend is obsessed with Say Yes to the Dress. Find your backbone, son. Don't be a farce registered at Macy's.

And if you agreed to this monogamy thing and changed your mind? You're not doing anyone any favors by unilaterally deciding to betray them. Let them go live an authentic life without you.

I hope our husbands and some of our wives understand this bit.

WOMAN WHO DROWNED HER THREE CHILDREN

A Long Island mom who admitted to drowning her three children has given birth to a fourth while incarcerated.

NBC New York reports that Leatrice Brewer, 33, was impregnated at the Mid-Hudson Forensic Psychiatric Center in New Hampton where she's been locked up since admitting to drowning her three kids in a bathtub in 2008.

The center refused to comment, citing privacy laws, and it remains unclear who the father of Brewer's child is or how she was able to get pregnant at the secure facility, according to NBC New York.

Attorney Tom Foley, who represents the father of two of Brewer's deceased children, called her pregnancy "outrageous".

"This person's supposedly in a secure facility and she gets pregnant," Foley said. "This is the woman who had no idea what she was doing when she murdered her children."

The Associated Press reported last week that Brewer, who was found not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect, is also seeking a cut of $350,000 won by the fathers of her children in wrongful death lawsuits.

Psychiatrists who evaluated Brewer said she had a major depressive disorder and likely killed her children because she wanted to save them from the deadly effects of voodoo, according to the AP.

Shortly after she killed her children, Brewer attempted suicide, first by swallowing a combination of cleaning products and then by jumping out of a two-story window.

Culled from Huffington Post. 

OPEN MARRIAGE TINZ!

My fellow colleagues, wonders will never cease. Nothing way person no go see or hear for this our 'westernized' country.

Open Marriage kwa! I see you are confused. Are you a learner?...Open marriage is when married couples agree to engage in extramarital relationships or affairs without it being regarded as infidelity.

With the permission of a female friend of mine who opened up to me about her own marriage, I have decided to share her "why her and her husband agreed to an open marriage" story. This my friend lives in Lekki. (This Lekki again! Why are things always sizzling there?! *OK dats ok*)

My friend says that her and her husband decided on an open marriage because they noticed that a lot of marriages were ending up in divorce because of infidelity issues. They also thought that since cheating was almost unavoidable in a supposed monogamous marriage, the only way out was to come out openly about who they had intimate relationships with in their marriage. (Oh, kwa!)

Further reasons she gave were that Open Marriage helps them achieve their sexual fantasies and add value to their marriage. That she hates the idea of husbands cheating on their wives and then they expect these same wives not to do the same!  It is very disheartening for a woman to find out that she has been sharing her husband with another woman, and at the end of the day, loose him to the b*%$h!

My friend says that the main attraction for her in it is 'Emotional Intimacy'...whatever that means to you. *lips sealed*

If you guys are waiting for my personal opinion, don't waste ya time because it is highly irrelevant and I don't want some people to start abusing me! But you can drop your 20kobo opinion in the box, that is, if you like.

But I must say that if truth be told, a lot of married couples are in open marriages indirectly. You are asking How? All the secret Facebook romance, the badoo romance, Two nko? *Ok bye*

On a final note, a good and successful marriage, if you analyse the situation critically, is what works for the couple, even if nah open marriage! ...OK I don talk my own.

THE VAGINA AFTER CHILD BIRTH - A Husband's Point of View

A lot of husbands are complaining that their wives' vaginas are too lax after a normal vaginal delivery!  They say they do not 'feel' their wives anymore. 

I met a husband who broke down in tears because of this issue! You may think it's funny, but it's not! For some men, they manage. Others find a solution through surgery called vaginoplasty while, others simply get another woman who would replace their wives literally.

The truth of the matter, is that, it's not all vaginas that become lax after childbirth. Some vaginas return to their normal state after delivery.

Some of the major causes of lax vagina are prolonged traumatic delivery, big baby wahala and multiple tears during delivery.

Four weeks after vaginal birth, the vagina should start moving back into shape.

However, in cases where the vagina does not contract significantly, Kegel exercise is strongly recommended which is very effective. This consists of contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor in a similar manner to that of holding up the urine. It is suggested that women do this as often as they remember, wherever they are.

If you are interested in doing this Kegel thingy, then visit a proper gym next you. However, if there is a significant damage or lax, a surgical procedure is then recommended to tighten the vagina.

That's why me I love caesarean section (C/S) anytime any day.

If you have a lax vagina or your husband is one of those that complains please share your experience O!

7 THINGS WOMEN WANT IN BED

Fellow wifeys, I stumbled on this article and thought I should share it with you guys!

I personally don't think most Nigerian women will allow their husbands do all these things because they are damn too stiff! And the ones that secretly like it, don't even show it and will be hiding under the name of being 'born-again'.

See the 7th suggestion...I know some women who will start casting and binding their husbands if they attempt to talk dirty!

Just about every sexist cliché will tell you that women are hard to please, both in and out of the bedroom. It's not that women are hard to please; it's that women know what they want.

Unfortunately, not every woman feels entirely comfortable expressing her sexual desires. Some women fear judgment, others are more guarded, and still others are asking in less obvious ways that often go unnoticed.

Take a look at the 7 things women want in bed;

1. Be passionate

Sure, there's a time and a place for romance and gentle lovemaking, but what your woman really craves is raw passion. Want her. Take her. Kiss her hard. Make no apologies for how desperately you need all of her.

2. To be heard

Make no mistake, women know exactly what they like in bed. Be the kind of sexual partner who will eagerly respond to her guidance on how best to please her. Just know that your efforts will be rewarded and then some.

3. Show your pleasure

Allow your facial expressions, body language, and verbal cues to give her insight into what gets you hot. Remember, turning you on is a major turn-on!

4. Sexual intimacy

She wants to tell you her deepest, darkest naughty desires so the more open you are about your bedroom fantasies, the more open she'll be with hers.

5. Focus on her whole body

There are more than a few places on a woman's body that can bring her pleasure. While the old stand-by's are tried and true, try focusing on the whole of her body rather than the sum of its parts.

6. Verbal affirmation

According to a survey, 44 percent of women are turned on by a simple, "I love you" while "You're so hot!" does it for 26 percent of the ladies.

7. Dirty talk

Engage her naughty side and tell her exactly what you're thinking. Tell her what you want to do and then do it!

So tell me, what do you think?

Culled from naij.com

HUSBAND`S LETTER TO WIFEY

LMAO! this is too funny. I just had to share with you guys. See it as a `cool-off`!

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. … Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——

Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone..

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl….  I hope that’s not a problem!

Culled from Eric.fm

DEAR WIFE, WHAT'S YOUR SELLING POINT?

Most of you might be wondering about this topic. My fellow colleagues in marriage, I thought it was only when one is single that one should be thinking of selling point, infact, selling points!

Na lie, we married ones should have our own selling point. We should have unique characteristic(s) that make us stand out among our imagined or real 'rivals'. 

Once a woman is married, ideally, she should have no problems getting scared of having her marriage or matrimonial home threatened. But one will still see men who have the guts to break the vows that was pledged at the altar or in the court room. When asked the reasons for having extra-marital affairs, all sorts will come up:

- she smells and she is very untidy

- she is boring and she won't allow me to have fun the way I choose to

- she is not strong spiritually. I need a prayerful wife especially for my business

- she doesn't know how to cook

- she has changed from the exciting lady I used to know and to make matters worse, she now attends the Lord's Chosen

- she no sabi for bed

- she nags from morning to night

- she is not academically sound

- she doesn't dress well and that doesn't represent my person

...in short all sorts of reasons. The list is endless. 

Do you guys remember Stella Obasanjo (May her gentle soul RIP) and how she was the 1st Lady despite the fact Mr Obasanjo had other wives who senior Stella sef. Well, she supposedly had the highest selling point. Anyhow you want tink am, she sabi English even pass *cough*, she sabi cook, she sabi dress well well, na she go school pass, etc etc.

 A man can never go to the market if he doesn't need something to buy and he will not pay for a good that he doesn't like. And when he decides to buy, he will want to buy the one that meets almost all his demands. Anything outside of this, wife, you need Holy Ghost prayers for your husband.

For this reason, I have decided we need to discover our selling points. Please let's pay particular attention to what they complain about because that might just be what you need to increase your selling point. No dulling here. Some men are 'babies' and find it very hard to state what they want so my dear, you may need to go into fasting and prayer for God to show you the way.

Let us gather as many selling points as possible so that we can run these 'home-wreckers' out of business!

This is my 2kobo suggestion. You will thank me later, in cash or kind (cash preferably)!

HATE THE GAME, NOT THE PLAYER!!

Na wah O! Some bloggers are calling me thief o! Just because I no mention where I 'culled' the article I posted recently from! 

You don't have to be mean...some of us are new at this thing. You are meant to be mentors! After all most of your articles are not originally yours. 

Aunty Stella, you are supposed to be our role models!!.... Not a bully. Duh?!

Anyways, thank you for the info, we shall be stating wia we get it from....after all the internet is big enough for efribody! O ga o!

MY SISTER'S HUSBAND IS GAY!

Culled from StellaDimokokorkus blog

Fellow wifeys, I just have to share this gist. For those having sexual issues with hussy, the reasons might not be far...

My sister got married 2 years ago and am leaving with them.She dosent have a child yet. Why because according to her,her husband dosent like sex.Infact since this year,they have made love only once. 

To cut the story short,she went to America in August leaving me and her husband at home. He came back one night with one of his friend who is a regular visitor in the house. He told me that his friend will be sleeping over that I should arrange the visitors room for him and I did that before retiring to bed. 

That night,they went clubbing and came back around 3am. He called me on the phone to come and open the door for them and I did. Two hrs later, I couldn't go back to sleep and  I decided to go to the living room to watch television. Going down stairs, I was hearing some funny noises from the guest room and I decided to go near and peep because the door was slightly open. Lo and behold! I saw my sister's husband with his friend having a gay sex.

I hurried back to my room and was awake till day break. I couldn't believe what I saw. In fact am still in the shock. The guy stayed for 1 week and they f**k each other every night.

My sister just came back on sunday and I have been cold since then. She has been asking me what the problem is.

Should I tell her or not?

LOL! WIFE MEETS MISTRESS!

Are you one of those wives that suspect your husband might be cheating on you? And if you do, do you wish you knew who the she was and see if she measures up to standard? Or do you pray to catch your husband in his web of lies?

OMG! That is exactly what happened to my friend over the weekend. Lol! My friend has always suspected her husband was cheating on her. Somehow, she felt his recent affair was different. She knows that he gets involved in flings once in a while and leaves these women bitter at the end of the day. She gets involved in some of the bitter ends because some of these women trace him all the way home! For the past 1year, she has been having this gut-feeling that he has been seeing a particular person and that my dear, is not a good sign for her. It means her territory is being threatened. 

Anyway to cut story short, she met the supposed rival in a beauty shop. She noticed the lady was wearing a customized diamond necklace that her husband was supposed to have exchanged for another in his last trip to Italy. She summoned up courage and went to question the lady. Lo and behold! She knew her husband. Anyways, my friend introduced herself as his wife but our dear rival refused to believe her saying that her husband told her he was divorced and that the only thing connecting both of them was their 7year old son. Wow! The bottom line sha, was that both the mistress and the wife found out that 'their husband' had been fooling himself and not them. 

The worst part of the deceit is that his birthday is fast approaching and the con-man is planning to celebrate it differerently with both ladies. The problem now is that, both the wife and mistress are now planning to hold a surprise party for him where all his 'wayo' will be exposed...and in a very bad way in front of family and friends! Chai! I pity this guy O! 

I hope I don't forget to give you an update of what goes down because that party I gats to attend!

WHY ARE WOMEN SO NAIVE?!

I just don't get! I have tried in so many ways to analyze the naivety of women, but I haven't been able to come up with any concrete result.

Just yesterday,  I met a woman who appeared to be in her late 40s but guess what?...she is just 37years old. She had such great command of English and I wondered how she ended up being a hospital maid!

She had lines of sadness, hoplessness and 'lovelessness' on her face and then I thought to myself..."she must be a victim of circumstances". I was moved to share her story because I know a lot of women out there might be going through the same thing.

Well, this woman in question is a victim of 2 failed marriages. In the 1st situation, she met a man who deceived her with words of love and then she was working in a good company with a fantastic salary. She earned more than him (the 1st husband O!). He deceived her into marrying her. She got the house in which they lived in and paid the rents. She fed the family ( she had a son for him). This her 1st husband convinced her into opening a joint account of which he was the sole signatory to the account! 

Everything was going on fine or so she thought until one-day she was involved in a road traffic accident that almost took her life and she was bedridden for about 2months. During the time of her incarceration,  this so called husband was involved in a steamy affair with her housemaid who got pregnant for him. All that time, everyone new of the recent development except her. Chai! She was soon discharged home. She hadn't even spent 1week at home when her husband packed all his things and said he was done with the marriage and that he was getting married to their maid! God saved her that she no die from shock. Of course, the man stole all she ever saved, as in, he wiped her account.

Well in the bid to recover and start a new life, she lost her job, maybe because of the long hospital stay. Anyway, she had to leave her son with her ex-husband to pick up the pieces. She eventually got a job in a federal institution as a maid! I asked why since she had all the qualification.  She said she was advised to do so in the meantime before she gets an upgrade. O ma se O!

Trust nah, she fell victim again but this time a security man in that institution! Is she a learner?! Kai! Falling in love with someone who can barely take care of himself! Guess what? You got it right...she got pregnant for him and eventually had a son. As I speak, the man hasn't dropped a dime for child support even since she got pregnant!  The child is now 2years old and hasn't met his father, not because she prevented him but because he is running from responsibility. Yeye fowl!

The koko of the matter is that the 'retarded' (no apologies for the insult) woman is presently depressed.  She says there is a need for the child to know his father because of the future. True but not compulsory.  The man in question who works in the same place as she, has not made any attempt to know his child or even ask of his wellbeing. Why bother introduce the child to him when there is no financial gain! What the child needs is money for child support not just 'looking' and saying "yes, he's mine!". Mscheww!

Finally,  another thing that pushed her further into depression is that she just found out from her 12year son (who is her 1st child) that her ex-husband had duped her. She said the man called her oneday while she was at work that her son was seriously ill and had been admitted at a hospital in Ibadan. This man took money for admission,  drugs and feeding from her for 2 whole weeks leaving her penniless. Only for her to find out from her son much later that it was all a lie. He had never been seriously ill or admitted for any reason! I was speechless. 

Now you see, when I say we women are naive creatures, I talk lie?...but why?

SECRETS OF A HAPPY COUPLE

I don't understand couples who say they are too busy or too tired to spend time together. Unless they are building roads all day or running a multi-national corporation, they have only just lost sight of priorities.

If you wish to stay connected and happy in your marriage, my advice to couples is to never be too tired or too busy to rekindle the love for your partner. When your life is nearly over, you will regret it if you look back and recall the days and nights you guys spent quarelling instead of making love!
Here are some useful tips.
1. The most important thing for any couple trying to get along is to think before you speak. If you are bickering and find that you are getting angry, take a deep breath and change course, and ask your partner to do the same.

2. If you want your relationship to survive and to thrive, you will have to train yourself to focus most of your attention on the person you have sworn to love till death do you part. When your sweetheart comes into the room, whether it's just from taking care of some chores in the home or from a long day at work, your job is to verbally express how much you love him or her. Don't keep the feeling inside. Trust me, those words "I love you" go a long way.

3. Some people have affairs because they tell themselves that they deserve more attention than they get at home. Or maybe they get annoyed because they feel that all of their needs aren't getting met by their partner. Well, whoever told them that one person could meet their every need? You can actually live quite comfortably without having all of your needs met. Just be content and No 'Oju kokoro'!

4. Always keep in mind that "You are not perfect, and neither is your partner", but you can make a very pleasant life together if you are both serious about providing the love and support that go along with a marriage.

5. It's true that when babies start arriving, there isn't much time left for romantic gestures. But the wonderful thing about romance is that it is the quality, never the quantity, that matters. So when the baby is sleeping or not just in the way, couples can create some quality time together like they can write love notes to each other and slip them in between the clean diapers. Just be creative and you will see how your love will flourish.

6. Couples should try and be open about their financial status. So this means that if you have any financial secrets you are keeping from your partner, you must put them on the table. Doesn't that sound scary? I am sure it does, but as with so many unpleasant things that only get bigger and stronger in the dark, these secrets have a funny way of shrinking in the light of the truth.
Being open will help your wife or husband be less demanding or be less expectant of you financially.  There will be better planning.

7. I think the place where good marriages break down is when one or both parties begin to take the other person for granted. For example when husbands come home from work and ignore their wives who have stayed up for them, by watching TV and they claim that they are trying to relax! There is a difference between relaxing and disengagement. That example given is disengagement!

8. Please keep your anger in check. When one is angry, regrettable words are used, words that can't be taken back. Try not to deliberately hurt your loved ones during these 'evil' moments!

If you have more tips, you can add yours...