JEALOUS HUSBAND STABS ADULTEROUS WIFE

Oluwabusayo Abegunde, 38, found out his wife had been going out drinking and clubbing with another man after looking at photos and messages on her Blackberry.

A jealous dad-of-two repeatedly stabbed his wife after finding out she was having an affair from her phone.

Oluwabusayo Abegunde, 38, found out his wife had been going out drinking and clubbing with another man after looking at photos and messages on her Blackberry.

He launched the savage knife attack just two days after Valentine’s Day as wife Esther Abegunde, 33, lay asleep. She had earlier told him their marriage was over and moved into the spare room.

Businessman Abegunde repeatedly stabbed her with a large kitchen knife while their two sons, aged eight and four, were downstairs in the family home on Hollybank, Droylsden.

The wounds punctured his wife’s left lung, partially severed a tendon in her right wrist and left her with other wounds to her chest and arm.

As she began to bleed to death Abegunde only agreed to call an ambulance after making her promise she would tell police and doctors she had inflicted the wounds on herself.

He also offered to kill himself – but only made a small cut in his own chest with the knife before emergency services arrived.

His wife was rushed to hospital where she survived – and a few days later told police the truth following the attack on February 16 last year.

Abegunde, said to have been a respected member of Manchester’s Nigerian community, was found not guilty of attempted murder at an earlier trial.

But the jury found him guilty of grevious bodily harm – and he has now been jailed for 12 years at Manchester Crown Square.

The court heard Abegunde, who makes a living running businesses in Nigeria, had been left ‘humiliated’ by his wife of ten years’ infidelity and sought revenge when she told him the marriage was over.

Sentencing, judge Honourable Mr Justice Kenneth Parker told Abegunde: “An attack of this nature upon a young woman and mother would cause psychological harm in the short and possible longer term.

“She probably thought at one point that the children were going to be left as orphans causing futher anguish.

“You paid no heed to the fact your children could have been confronted with the truly horrific sight of a greviously injured mother.

“The risk was obvious that she could die but you carried on and are fortunate indeed that she did not die and you are not facing a charge of murder.”

*Na wah o!..Coward of a husband!!*

MEN...CONFUSED BEINGS!

Na wah O! I need to confirm from my fellow colleagues out there what I am about to write about...Men, our husbands being confused about what they want to eat!

I don't and can't understand how full grown men can't say what type of meal they want. I know there are some men who eat whatever they are served by their wives and some who call their wives the minute they leave the office and start listing 'orisirisi' types of meal.

Now, the irony of this is that these same men, are able to say what they want when they go to restaurants! When you call them before they get home and ask them what they would like to have for lunch or dinner, check out how the conversation may go:
Wife: "Sugapie, what would you like to have for lunch?" \
Husband: "Lunch ke? I am not coming home anytime soon!"
Wife (not willing to give up continues): Ok...so, what would you like for dinner then?
Husband: But I just finished lunch!
Wife: Ok, no wahala. I just want to know so that I prepare ahead of time. What do you think you might want to eat sha?
Husband: I can't really think now on a full stomach. When I get home or better still anything you prepare will be fine.

Wife, feeling really 'wifely' prepares a sumptuous dish of boiled yam and egg stew, garnished with beans. Husband returns and the conversation goes thus:
Husband: Iya, what's for dinner?
Wife: Yam and egg stew with beans.
Husband: Ah, no O! Why didn't you ask me before making that?
Wife (stunned): Excuse me?! Was it not you that I called a few hours ago to ask what you wanted and you said anything was fine by you?!
Husband: I don't like yam because it makes me feel heavy at night and beans gives me heartburn especially at night.
Wife (getting exasperated): Ok, no problem? What would you like to eat then?
Husband: What do you have in mind?...

For real?! Guys, common! Why can't you make things easy for your wife? You can try calling her to tell her what you want. Just ask and it shall be prepared for you.

ARE YOU A BORING WIFE?

I think the reasons are becoming clearer why some women are miserable in their marriages! See, I don't expect you (you know ya sef) to agree with me. I don't have a perfect marriage, who does anyway?!

I had an encounter with a friend who hadn't seen me since the beginning of this year and the first thing she says to me in distaste, "What?! You have a nose ring!" and then shakes her head and continues,"You have changed. You are now a bad girl!" (Like I ever pretended to be a good girl in the first place) I was taken aback for a few seconds, not knowing how to reply to that without hurting her feelings (I trust my untamed tongue). She then asked me one final question that left me 'tragically' nauseated,"What did your husband think about it?!" This last question/statement kept replaying in my head...until I had an answer for her.

How does my nose ring affect my role as a wife and a mother? I wasn't aware a wife had to take permission from her husband to do anything that brings her joy as long as it doesn't affect her roles. If a husband wanted to have a fling (assuming it's what brings him joy), would he take permission from his wife knowing fully well what the answer would be? I feel sorry for women like my friend who live in their husbands' shadow. Our husbands are not the ones that cage us so to speak (especially in areas that they find beneficial). WE are the ones that confine ourselves to marital slavery! As soon as we tie the knots, we think we are expected to act in certain ways or speak in certain ways.

If truth be told, most Nigerian wives are DEAD and DOWNRIGHT B-O-R-I-N-G!! They give all sorts of excuses for not having fun: from kids to husband to church, etc! And if truth be told, most Nigerian men would not want anything that makes their wives appealing to other men, that's invasion of territory. They would rather have a m-u-m-u wife at home and have a 'maheeda' as a girlfriend. So my question for my fellow naija wives, "Why can't you be m-u-m-u/maheeda at the same time?!" Besides, you are the one that is 'legal'. Haven't you noticed that some muslim brothers who are supposedly devout and who insist that their wivers cover are the ones that are chronic womanisers...I have some as friends! Let's not even go far #COZApastortinz!

You can now see why some wives be like beefing you, because you are living a life they wished they had but do not know how to go about it. They don't just have the guts. They end up being hypocrites, criticizing everything you do. Meanwhile, they want it. Until we start learning to do the things we absolutely love, we will always remain miserable. According to Simon Cowell, "Marriage is a boring routine"...Yes, because of the way most Nigerian women live it!

I don't want to live a life of  "I wish I had..." or "If only..."  Men love exciting and unpredictable women (who are also God-fearing). I want to be whatever my husband wants or wishes me to be! I want to be an 'Anita Oyakhilome' and a 'Cossy Orjiakor' all rolled in one for my hussy. So please don't judge me!

HINT/WORD OF ADVICE: If you know you are the 'scarf-wearing' type of wife in the house, please do a turn around, at least for one day...try wearing bum-shorts just for once around the house especially for your 'bible-holding' type of husband and see if you guys won't be singing a different type of 'hymn'!
Take your sex life off the timetable too while you are at it!

'Nuff said...LIVE LIFE! LOVE LIFE!

Hate me now and love me later. *blowing kisses*

EXAM QUIZ!!

Simple Quiz: Aphrodisiacs

Which one is an aphrodisiac?

•  Oysters
•  Chocolate
•  Testosterone

•  


• 
  

TIRED OF DEAD AND DULL SKIN?

Now, before I share my daily beauty regimen as requested, I would love to thank all my friends(home and abroad), family and NHW fans for their kind messages and words of prayer. God bless you all and I wish you guys much more happiness and love in your marriages.

I got a lot of emails from my fellow wives requesting that I speak on certain issues, one of which was on 'How to prevent wrinkles'. Lol! I chose to speak on this one because it seemed interesting and I think most married women my age dread wrinkling! Uugh! Ironically, when I was much younger, I cherished the thought of being older and now that I am older, I fight signs of ageing with everything inside of me!

Few years back, I had always struggled with getting the right skin products, most especially to maintain my skin colour and radiance since giving birth (Oh! What pregnancy does to the skin, at least for me!). In looking for the right product, I tried as much as possible to avoid products that contained 'Hydoquinone'... you know why nah! #Denciatinz

Anyways, I finally found what worked for me and still is. Here are basic rules every woman (especially we married ones) must adhere to:
RULE 1: Know your skin type
RULE 2: Cleanse
RULE 3: Exfoliate
RULE 4: Moisturize
RULE 5: Sunscreen
RULE 6: Drink lots of water rather than take fizzy drinks or you could take fruits.

Now, here are some of the products I use... for real. In fact, these products are soo good, they are my can't-do-withouts and I use them daily. When you see results, you will thank me! You have to be patient when you use good skin care products that seem to be working for you, like say between 4weeks to 6weeks.

I usually start with this and I work in circular motions on my face and neck, concentrating on my difficult areas (forehead, around my eyes, corners of my nose, and my jaw...the most difficult area and then my neck). This takes about 1minute. Then I rinse with water.

I wash my body and face with this awesome cleansing bar. Your life will never be the same again after using this soap.

I use this Neutrogena moisturizer
with SPF 30 on my face only. Or I could use Aveeno moisturizer with SPF 30. I think I prefer Neutrogena.

Then I finish off with this fantastic anti-ageing moisturizer by Olay. This is only for my body and not face.










I hope this has helped. Most importantly, you need to be a happy person so that your body can secrete 'happy' hormones that work against wrinkling.

Goodnight babes!

MY LOVE STORY...

Hi peeps! Sorry, I have been out of radar for a while. Today is a special day for me and I so want to share with you guys. Today is my wedding anniversary...11 years is definitely not a joke! Technically, we have been together for 18 years! I feel so blessed. When I say 'we', of course I mean my hussy (very male species). Lol! Now back to the matter...I want to give you a glimpse of how we got to this point. Please don't laff at the pics, these were back in the them days!!

This was me...pure, untouched...very virgin! Just got into medical school with no hopes of falling in love!...little did I know!

Now, this is my hussy back in them days! #badboy #ajekpaki #highlyexperiencedsocially Apparently, he was also studying in the same medical school but 2 years ahead of me. He was just another individual with hopes of scoring more chics (I think)...little did he know!

Now, this chic #fashionistawannabe #19thcenturydiva soon started dating this guy! (Who would have ever thought ?!) P.S Note his 'malnourished' state and his 'scrawny' -looking friend beside him! Lol!





The first time I set my eyes on him...I just knew he was the ONE. I told my roommates if I remember clearly,"I have seen the father of my children!" Of course they laughed at me knowing fully well I was an unrepentant romantic!

July 1996, it was official! Trust me when I say all odds were against us. He was yoruba and I was Ibo. He was muslim and I was a christian. Poor boy (as in broke ass Nigga) Rich girl (just comfortable O! could get anything I wanted from my parents then) and Bad boy Good girl story...we knew all these, but we still held hands and took a dive, not looking back!...sooo glad I did! His muslim brothers were not excited about this new found relationship while my friends on the other side were not excited either, they just thought he wasn't my type!

Our love just kept blossoming! Despite all the wahala we were going through! God is indeed love! At this point my dad (may his gentle soul rest in peace) had disowned me twice or thrice! Lol! School didn't feel comfortable anymore because to some we were 'misfits'. The more I prayed about our 'situation', the stronger our love grew and the tighter the bond. I knew at this point that God never made mistakes. So through thick and thin, we found solace in each other!...oh love!

Please, don't ask...lol! my boo at this time was practicing christianity (he chose to do this on his own) but what he never knew was that I spent longer hours praying that he would convert to christianity! I put his picture permanently in between the book of psalms, hoping that the transformation would be instantaneous.
Then, one day...God answered my prayers!(Key: Patience. God's time is the best).

(Presently, he is baptised and has received his first holy communion)

Finally, this day I thought will never come, finally did! We tied the knots... February 22 2003. Did you guys notice anything in the pix? *wink* Well, if you didn't, then it's either you are spiritually blind or physically blind! Hehehehe!

That day was the happiest day of my entire life, having to say those words "I do",even though my dad refused to give me away by not being present at my wedding ( he apologised later and of course we made up).
Thoughts of spending the rest of your life with someone you truly love is worth fighting for! That day was the day I believed in the words : Love Conquers All. 

Our union produced these 'SEEDS'.

Each day I look at them, I constantly praise the good Lord for blessing me with a good man!

Despite all odds, we have stuck together and work as a team because we are united in LOVE! God is indeed love...never ever forget that.

Boo, from the moment I first met you, ALL OF ME LOVED ALL OF YOU.
If I had to do this all over again, it will definitely be with you.
I love you forever xoxo.














Ok O! It's a wrap...

SIGNS OF IMMATURITY IN A HUSBAND

Someone posted this to me and I thought I should share. It is quite hilarious and true.

( 1) Rejecting food when there's an issue: Oga husband, you gave your wife money for food and after it was prepared you refused to eat because you dey vex. It's one of the greatest signs of immaturity, it's time to grow up!
You should not even abandon your home for any reason, you could go somewhere when angry but ensure that you don't allow it to linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on.

( 2) Telling your wife severally that you are the head: May I let you know that even when your wife disobeys/ disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. You need not shout or scream it daily. It's important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues, however don't become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head.

(3) Issuing threats: beating, verbally abusing your wife, issuing threats of divorce or bragging about marrying another wife does not make you a man. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her "childish woman" part, play the "matured man."

(4) Reporting your wife to friends and family: When your wife offends you, correct and talk things through. You don't have to tell everyone about her mistakes, that will paint her black and sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back.

(5) Keeping malice: is it not funny to know that some men keep malice? Some of them even nag, criticise, abuse and call their wives names in public. It may make you look like a "big boy" who's in control but you are not going to gain anything good from it, your home will only be a den of insults and confrontations.

(6) Not helping with house chores: I must say here that it is the sole responsibility of a woman to tend and manage a home. However, it's not a bad thing if a man lends a helping hand when necessary.

Watching football with newspaper in your hand every evening, not caring how stressful the house chores are will only increase the pressure on your wife and if you truly care you'll help, just checking on her while busy could encourage and sooth her, this also makes you a good example to the kids especially the boys. Some men don't even say "thank You" to their wives after eating, all they do is compare her with other women. It's a shame that after having 3-4kids some men cannot change a simple diaper or prepare cereal.

Lastly, every man should have a church/mosque where his family is watered and raised spiritually. This makes you accountable, it's immaturity and dangerous to be a sheep without a shepherd. As you learn and grow in the right fold, you'll be able to take the lead as the head of the home.....""

So, do you all agree?

STAY SOLD OUT...TO EACH OTHER

Never give up on the love and passion you once had for each other. I don't and can't understand what goes on in marriage that makes it easy for couples to break up. All the vows you take at the altar is fast forgotten, all the "for better for worse", all the "...till death do us part". Na wah O!

Never take each other for granted. Never believe you married the wrong person. When things appear impossible to repair, don't ever bail out! Have you seen who you could have married lately?!

Love is not the same as Infatuation. Infatuation is what I can get, True Love is what you can give. So many marriages are based on conditional love, "he doesn't have enough money", "she has lost her shape", "my level has changed", "he is not well read"... Or "I will love you (more) if you do this or that! No wonder many marriages crumble.

Today, you guys need to end that feud! Pour the love of God into it. He is the One that gives us the capacity and capability to love our spouses as we should.

HAPPY VALENTINE PEEPS!

VALENTINE PRAYER FOR ALL WIVES!!

This is so hilarious but very serious O! I got this message on my BBM and thought I should share it with you guys!! This might just be the solid prayer you need for today!

Feb 14 is a day for prayers against every strange girl in d life or around our husband, fiance's life.

1) Anybody tryin to hug my husband or fianceseductively, catch fire.

2) Anyone planning to sit on his laps, be unseated by fire.

3) Any person, spirit or power that wants to collect money or expensive gifts from him, somersault and die.

4) Any strange woman that wants to put asunder in what God has joined together, be shattered by fire..

5) Anyone sending romantic msg to my partner, be struck with rheumatism.

6) Evil kisses waiting for my partner, be consumed by fire.

7) You strange woman, that wants to camp my partner all day, be encamped by fire Anyone, planning a 'quickie' with my husband in d office on d 14th, be electrocuted.

Brothers and Sisters Open ur mouth and P r a a a a a a a ay.!!!!!!!!

VALENTINE FEVER

I noticed that my husband has been trying to pick a fight or quarrel with me but as far as I am concerned, he has failed!

What has he not tried to do to irritate and disgust me but all his plans are seriously messing him up!! LOL!!

He thinks he is going to avoid the most celebrated Valentine day! Na lie! He wants when we have that fight, he will be free to hang out with his friends or maybe do anything he wants that day! *laughing seriously in Togolese*

God has been good to me...all the wisdom He has granted me to fight temptation!

I have started drawing up my list (just in case he decides to ask me what I want...kai! mistake!).

...already on cloud 10!

SOULMATE OR BEDMATE, WHICH ARE YOU?

A lot of women don't realise that they are just mere 'bedmates' than 'soulmates' to their husbands! It's a tragedy but what can I say?!

Did I hear you ask why I say what I say? Yeah, because, these so-called married couples only make sense to each other and talk while or after making out!

If they are not making out, they do a lot of fighting, quarelling and do not listen to each other talkless of hearing each other.

In that kind of house (not a home because there is a difference between 'house' and 'home'), one never gets to hear the words "I am sorry" or "I love you" except when they are said together "I am sorry I love you" *hehehe*

In that house also, communication which is the key to a lasting and healthy marriage, does not exist! These couple only 'communicate' in bed. Infact, some couples go out of their way to quarrel so that they can end up in bed and understand what each person is saying! Shocking but true! Haven't you seen a case where husband and wife will be quarelling and you the onlooker cannot exactly pickout any reason for their argument or quarrel...you won't know that it's just a prelude to you know what! May GOD help them!

So you better decide now if you are a 'bedmate' or a 'soulmate'. If the only time you exist in your spouse's life is when you are in bed with him or her.

Me sha, I don't want to be either or, I want to be both a SOULMATE AND A BEDMATE!!

Is it true that Nigerian husbands do more of bedmating than soulmating? I don't think so sha! It cannot be that bad.

LOL! 'SEE FINISH' SYNDROME BY CHARLY BOY

I need you guys to read this article by Charley boy. I have always admired him despite his so-called controversial craziness. I say it's controversial because in my own opinion, he is one of the very few intelligent men I know (after my husband of course!). Nigerians are always fast to judge a book by its cover and then burning that book with their 'spiricoco' tinz!

When two people, lovers, friends, partners or even team mates can consistently predict one another's moves like clockwork, it is called see finish
See finish can help one in fully understanding your partner. However, see finish in a marriage has its own bad sides, if not checked can lead to the death of DESIRE in a marriage, especially, sexually. That's when couples start to take each other for granted and no longer as granted. See finish in a marriage is when one spouse is desperately yearning for more sex, connection or physical closeness, and the other for whatever reason seems a bit unconcerned about their partner’s feelings, or just not with it any more.
For instance, if in the beginning of a  marriage, a couple enjoyed going out together and five years into their  union as husband and wife both or one of them starts to hate the idea of hanging out with their  spouse, hummmmmm SEE FINISH has entered the matter.

See finish is when your spouse is no longer attractive sexually, when you start looking at your spouse as a sister or a brother.  SEE FINISH in a marriage is when one spouse is desperately yearning for more sex, connection or physical closeness, and the other for whatever reason seems a bit unconcerned about their partner’s feelings, or just not with it any more. For married people, it's when making love has become a chore instead of a reaffirmation of love and intimacy. The worse stage of See finish in a marriage is when desire finally dies. Do you know that there are couples who haven't made it to their 10th year in marriage and already there is little or no action in their bedroom? If their desire has finally kicked the bucket before year ten, we that have survived 37yrs should ask for a divorce or what? There are couples who have lost all intimacy in their marriage, some of them live under the same roof like total strangers, and some are just cohabiting. It's crazy but it's true.

Meeehn, I know it's not easy waking up to the same face, the same smell, the same breast, the same person year in year out, but everything special takes working at, takes cultivation, takes patience and the will power to want to make it work. "Too much of the same woman can kill ones manhood" obviously that was scripted or corned by a man to justify his wondering penis. Hummmmmm, and I will always ask, can too much of the same penis kill a woman's desire for the same man? After all what's good for the goose should be good for the gander, abi how una see am. But guess what, more women these days are caught up in this see finish Syndrome more than the men care to admit, I swear.

This much I can say with all certainty, that desire dwindles in marriages if you don't work on keeping the flame burning, if you’re not observant in noticing that some things have changed, if finally you can't just be bothered about fixing it. No marriage can escape the SEE FINISH syndrome, either couples are prepared to work on it and work it out when it rears its ugly head or forget about any form of intimacy whatsoever. I can understand couples who have been together for at least 50yrs, that's when we are pardoned for just being brothers and sisters and best friends, maybe no longer sexual lovers. Some of us can't even make it to our 10th year without feeling sexually suffocating. Please I’m not preaching here, because I’m no saint, but I know I am where I am today because I work at it.

Does any of this sound familiar? Is your marriage going through a bad patch because of the SEE FINISH syndrome? Would you want to work at it, or would you rather let it die completely? The choice is really yours. For me I enjoy my "reserved" status especially as CharlyBoy. Maybe because I’m all played out, or maybe because I have seen it all, I have chosen to respect myself especially my body and continue to work with the devil I know than the beauty queen to come. I have passed through the see finish syndrome phase before, it was only my determination to put all my real joy in one basket that made me sort myself out and battle to get my groove back. It wasn't easy at all, but after all I am Charlyboy, and I can do anything I set my mind to, Right?

Couples can fight about anything, but if they can kiss and make love, it soothes the bad feelings; it's like a rebirth, a forgiving ritual. But when your spouse is deprived of even that, bitterness, resentment and desperation accumulates. If your spouse’s libido has been slacking, just know that the most powerful sexual organ is between your ears, you need to approach your partner with greater understanding, compassion and wisdom. It may be difficult but talk to your spouse because you both need to make adjustments if you are to have a healthier marriage. Find out how you both can rekindle the flame. If your spouse can't or doesn't want to see that there is heavy gbege and doesn't want to change, then, you have to decide if a low sex marriage is a deal breaker for you. However, if one of you is having an affair where the culprit is getting better sex outside than inside, then wahala dey. You better start preparing a requiem for your relationship. My people, this matter no easy joor, I don talk my own sha.

For something more interesting…click on this link http://www.charlyboy.org/what-made-me-mad/

Courtesy lindaikeji blog.

NEWBORN BABY AT DOORSTEP!

Good morning wifeys,

What would you do if you found a newborn baby abandoned at your doorstep? 

Would you

A. Shout "Blood of Jesus" and then sprinkle holy water or anointing oil?
B. Quickly adopt the child and raise as yours?
C. Take the child to the nearest police station?
D. Take the child to motherless babies home?
E. Use the child for rituals?

Because I am confused! Definitely 'E' is not an option!

WATCH OUT FOR HYPERTENSION IN YOUR KIDS

I know many of you might be wondering why I am talking about this topic, but a close friend lost her 10yr old 2 days ago due to HYPERTENSION. It's really sad.

All of you who think it's impossible for kids to have hypertension, please think again. Even though it's commoner in adults than in children, it stills occurs in kids.

My friend had to agree that she caused it. Her child was obese (what most of you might refer to as being really fat) and in her mind she was sort of proud of it because she thought it was a sign "eating well" and that it was a proof that her parents had money. My friend would pack 'orisirisi' in her daughter's lunch box(all sorts of junk food you can imagine) and then give her money on top of that. So you can imagine what happened over the years!

There are many causes of Hypertension in kids; one of which there might be no known cause and others which may include:
- obesity
- kidney disease
- heart disease

- any disease that has stayed long (as in really long)

But this hypertension can be treated on time if it is caught early. And how do we know if our child has hypertension? By checking their blood pressure at least once a year in a good hospital that has the right equipment to check children's blood pressure. You cannot use the instrument that they use for adults to check the child's own (it will not give a true result). It will not cost you anything to check your child's blood pressure...trust me. Just check!

Back to the major cause of this blood pressure in the child, let us as mothers try to watch what you give your children to eat (especially as a major meal). Your child should have at least 3 healthy meals a day which should include vegetables, fruits and of course, a healthy amount of water intake instead of the 'Bobo' or 'Caprisonne' that mothers give.

As in between meals snack, you can give, fruits, Ribena drink (contains a lot of vitamin C), even cornflakes or Golden morn with a healthy amount of milk. Anything that won't add value to a child's health is not worth giving. Na you go suffer am! You can give him/her a treat once in a while such as ice-cream, meatpies, cakes, etc. 

I still do not understand why some parents give their children money. Do you honestly believe they will buy a proper meal with it...stop fooling yourselves because they won't. They end up buying those rubbish nutritionless biscuits, sweets and deadly ice-creams! Please mothers, take timeout to cook proper meals for your kids especially for your kids! Don't be lazy about it. Trust me when I tell you that "Na you go suffer am!"

A word is enough for the wise! O gwuchala!

HOW TO PREDICT WHO WILL CHEAT

Good morning wifeys,

Guess what I stumbled on while I was browsing?...How To Predict Who Will Cheat. I know you may think, "This Cheating topic again?!" Well, it's a topic that can never be exhaustively talked about. Even me sef, I need to get to the bottom of this cheating of a thing! I don't mind getting a real grant to do a major research on why people cheat!

Anyway, sha read what some researchers have done on the topic...

Infidelity is always a hot topic in the media – from gossip about high profile affairs to advice on how to spot and put an end to such ‘extracurricular activities.’ Given that partners bare their souls (not to mention their bodies) to each other, many find even the idea of being cheated on to be distressing. So, the ability to predict who will cheat is a talent that many people would love to have. Of course, no one can see the future, but researchers have tried to answer this question by suggesting ways to identify people who are more likely to stray.

One way they have approached this topic is to consider the attachment style of partners. This refers to the particular way in which a person connects with – or attaches to – others (especially significant others) in their lives. About sixty percent of people are securely attached. They feel good about themselves and also trust in their partners. All other people are insecurely attached and are classified in two ways. Some are avoidantly attached; meaning that they don’t trust others to be emotionally supportive, so they remain emotionally distant. And some are anxiously attached; meaning that they tend to seek excessive reassurance from their partners. (Note that a fuller explanation of attachment theory would reveal that while this is basically accurate, people are more complicated than this suggests.)

Past research has shown that both types of insecure attachment are associated with infidelity. However, a recent study (Russell and others, 2013) of couples in their first few years of marriage showed that avoidantly attached people were not particularly likely to have an affair. Instead, anxiously attached spouses were more likely to do so. This was equally true for men and women; and was even true for those who reported being happily married. Perhaps the difference in findings indicates a difference in married versus dating couples. Or, maybe there is another factor affecting the findings. For instance, other research has shown that people who know their parent had an affair are more likely to have one. But whatever the case, it seems clear that insecure attachment can put people at risk for being unfaithful.

Of course, many insecurely attached people do not have affairs. So, given the research to date, the best way to approach your relationship is to focus less on trying to predict future infidelity and more on meeting both of your needs for intimacy. If one of you tends to be self-reliant to the point of not sharing much from the heart, challenge this inclination. Work together to increase this partner’s communication even though he or she might feel uncomfortable at first. If one of you tends to need excessive reassurance, work together to support his or her self-image. Self-help materials or therapy can facilitate this process. In the end, your relationship is more likely to remain healthy – and affair-free – if you each feel good about yourselves while also sharing openly with, and being there for, each other.

 I hope you enjoyed youselves! Lovely day ahead!

Courtesy WebMD

NEVER MOVE OUT!!

Never move out of or from (any grammar you choose is fine by me) your matrimonial home because of 2 major reasons:
1. Because you had a major or minor quarrel!
2. Because you caught your husband cheating on you or suspected relationship with another idiot (even if it is pants down)

Any other reason apart from these 2 as reasons for moving out are just trivial.

Now, for the sake of some women who are slow in understanding all I have said, you can move out for 2 major reasons:
1. domestic violence in any form (infact you will flourish more if you do move out)
2. threat to life, kids or properties (you don't need to hang on to see if he is just bluffing!)

I know there are some evil friends who will be fast to tell you to move out at the slightest conflict especially if it is in a case of infidelity. My dear colleague, it is to fight the devil to finish in your home O! Don't ever enter marriage thinking your spouse is a saint, anything can happen to anyone. Even if you are the saint, don't think automatically your spouse has to be a saint! For the record, even if you leave your spouse because of infidelity, what is the guarantee that the next person you end up with won't do worse! So stay and do some repairs no matter how difficult. #would you pack to another house just because of a leaking roof or cracked wall? #just asking

What you may not know is that the devil does not like union, so the fool is ready to scatter what God has joined and blessed! Haven't you noticed that most marriages joined by court  and not done in the church almost always end up on the rocks! What do you expect when God has not given his approval. # I am not saying you should go and start harassing your husband for a church wedding please O!

My dear colleagues, apart from the reason of domestic violence, please remain in your homes and solve your problems. Don't even have a weekend get away to clear your head. Clear your head on the other side of your matrimonial bed or better still, move to the kids' room or the guest room. All I am saying is that you should sha remain under that roof! Because if you dare venture out, 'Salewa' or 'Sister Deborah' might just move in. You know that is exactly what the devil wants. Any friend or relative advising you to leave the house to get yourself is deceiving you and I should warn you that you need to distant yourself from such a person.

It happened to a close friend of mine (or so I thought because she turned deaf ears to all I advised her and consulted with other 'friends' who told her what she wanted to hear!). When she moved out, she came back about a week later to pick up some of her other items, guess who opened the door for her?...her 'friend'! *laughing in Portuguese*

Prayers! Prayers!! Prayers!!! my fellow colleagues.

RECIPE FOR FOIL BAKED FISH...HMMM, YUMMY!

I don't know about you guys but I have always wanted to know how to prepare this meal, not necessarily for my sake but for my hussy's sake. And I just thought I should share with y'all.

Ingredients Needed 

8oz croaker, 

filleted1stalk celery,

 sliced1/4onion,

 sliced2tbsp lemon juice

1tsp paprika

1tsp pepper

1/2tsp parsley

Recipe Directions for Foil Baked Fish

1. Preheat oven to 450 F. or heat grill on high.
   
2. Place fish on non-stick aluminum foil.
   
3. Top with celery and onion.
   
4. Combine remaining ingredients.
   
5. Pour mixture over fillets.
   
6. Close the foil tightly on all edges with double folds.
   
7. Place packages in oven or on grill and bake 10 to 15 minutes.

Courtesy caloriecount.com