CHILDREN AS A CAUSE OF MARITAL DISCORD

So, after going on a 2 day hiatus, I have decided to write on issues that bring about marital discord.

I intend to delve into these issues one by one because even I, need to take a closer look at each of these problems. So please, stay with me.

Today, we take a closer look at CHILDREN.

Children have been known to bring joy to the family but they are also known to bring problems, which are illustrated below:

- In the case of INFERTILITY, there is lack of children and this has been known to cause major marital discord.

- When parents use DOUBLE STANDARDS in bringing up their kids. The issue of child favouritism comes up, and this , may not go down well with a spouse who might feel that, one of the children is being handled unfairly.

- If a husband finds out eventually that the children are not biologically his! Wow!...I don't even want to think it!

- When a child or children decide(s) to bring 'disgrace' to the family, it's easy for spouses to point accusing fingers at each other.

- When a wife 'fails' to provide a male child for her husband after 4 to 6 girls! Lol! *Men have issues, SMH*

So, the issue here is, how best can we deal with these problems? Here are some tips, but you can always figure your own way out of it :

1. STOP THE BLAME - GAME. You really have to stop blaming each other and start looking for solutions. It's definitely immature!

2. Start COMMUNICATING by hearing listening to what each other have to say. Understand that men and women see things differently.

3. DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION. I don't understand why couples do that. Rather than talk, they head for divorce proceedings! Totally cowardly! Even if you find out that the kids are not yours, I understand it hurts but your spouse is only HUMAN not GOD! For crying out loud, it could have been you in her shoes. Deal with it quietly. The minute you involve 'outsiders', your marriage is as good as dead!

4. Get a BAND-AID FOR YOUR EGO. Yes O! Plaster it! This is particularly for the men! Does not having a male child make you less of a man?!

5. Learn to SEEK FOR HELP. Nobody has the monopoly of knowledge. If you see you guys are not anywhere resolving issues, that it is the time to step out and seek professional help. Notice I did not say, friendly help or neighbourly advice or inlaw advice, I said PROFESSIONAL help. This will help both of you see things objectively.