Wow! Finally, I will be let off the hook! I have been called all sorts because some of my readers think I have issues with the men...and I don't O!
I got a mail from one of my male readers who had a lot to say about his wife of almost 4 years. And I must say, the man made sense sha!
Read and please with open mind O!...
Dear NHW,
Well done on the good work you have been doing so far, even though I don't agree with everything you say. I am writing with a heavy heart because I have thought about the decision I am about to take. I have even sampled people's opinion.
The issue is about my wife. I am tired of her and this so-called marriage of a thing. I married her when she was innocent, a pure flower. I brought her up to my taste because we courted for about 2 years before we got married 3 and a half years ago in the Anglican church. God has blessed us with 2 children, 1 boy and 1 girl.
I saw her through the latter part of her university education so that she will be able to fit into my clique of friends (they are all highly placed people). To cut the story short, I cannot exactly say when the change occurred. They say men cheat, husbands cheat but nobody cares to know why they cheat.
After the second year of our marriage, a friend of my wife introduced her to The Lord's Chosen Church and I think that was where all the problem started. Her mode of dressing changed from bad to worst. I am a man that admires beautiful things. I buy good clothes for this woman, some of them from good designers, but she doesn't wear them. Instead she wears this set of ugly clothes. Even the designer perfumes I buy, she either gives them out or throws it away. I have complained severally, but it is as if they teach them to be stubborn in that church. When I am talking to her, it is as if I am talking to a brick wall.
Without wasting too much time, let me just list the problems I am having with her, so that you can tell me if I am the one with the problem:
1. She smells, since she doesn't use roll-on or perfume.
2. She has cut her hair and she doesn't apply makeup,so you can imagine how she looks. Her saving grace is that she has beautiful fair skin.
3. We have little or no sex. And when we do, it is getting boring because it is only one style.
4. She spends more time doing church programs than taking care of the home front.
5. The truth is that my wife is not really a good cook but I didn't make a big deal of it initially because she made up in other aspects but now those other aspects are no more there.
6. Conversation with her is so boring. Infact, mere looking at her general appearance puts me off.
7. She doesn't allow my children watch TV, saying all the programs are satanic.
See NHW, the list is endless. What pains me the most is the fact that she is insensitive to my cry and sadness. And I keep asking her, Nneka (name changed) is this you? Because I know you will ask, I don't beat my wife. I have never laid a finger on her but this behaviour, does it not warrant beating because I never bargained for this. So please, tell me what next.
Wow, wow, wow,wow,wow! This is serious venting. That is marriage for you. Well I don't think your wife changed over night my dear, you just failed to notice the signs early enough and address those problems.
My dear, I really don't know what to say. Let's be thankful first that it is God she is worshipping! And we can't always bail out when the going gets tough in marriage, that is one 'test of faith' most couples fail. We married for better for worse...and not better and best. So my little advice is this:
- Prayers and more prayers if you really love her.
- Build communication with her
- Seek counsel with people who know and understand you as a couple
Maybe you guys have a few words for him or those of you who have gone through this, please share.
Sir, I'm sorry to tell you you have lost the battle. You cannot fight 'God,' in your wife's heart if she takes Him the wrong way, like she has. Because, every change in the direction you want will be seen by her and her 'friends' as backsliding and eternal perdition to her soul. Prayers won't solve it. You won't know how to say to God, 'Please make my wife sexy, make her creative and energetic in bed.' What to do? Shock her with a brazen affair. You can pretend it even. Hopefully, when she realizes she's losing you, she'll shape up. Just pray she doesn't decide 'what shall it profit a woman to gain a husband and lose her soul.
ReplyDeleteLooooooooolllll. This illustration has killed me!!!!Rotfl @ ginger garlic etc
ReplyDeletePls fake a relationship and Watch out u will see the difference, just make her feel jealous joor!
ReplyDeleteDont attempt to fake a relationship because u might end up in adultery. Before your very eyes you are loving the other woman and finding joy and comfort elsewhere. Keep praying PUSH - pray until something happens! Be persistent in passing ur message across. God will give u wisdom to handle this. Love her the more!
ReplyDeleteIt's very sad,the husband has to be patient with her,with time she will realise the gravity of the issue.If he divorces her,it will not help because she won't still realise quick enough until it's far too late,and may be the man might have re married.
ReplyDeleteThe lady in question might have some psychological or stress related issues before being introduced to .....chosen.
She needs patient and affection. I am a believer,but will not support any religious affiliation that can break homes.For an individual may not value the importance of relationship until it's lost.I pray for peace in this family in Jesus name.