IS YOUR MARRIAGE BASED ON TRUE LOVE FRIENDSHIP?
Yeah, I changed my mind about the 'true love' thingy because that word is so cliche!
I just remembered that 'Love' means different things to different people, so I would rather stick to friendship. A lot of couples don't get married based on this. I dunno, people just assume that married people should act in a certain way...well, not exactly, apart from stay happily married!
'Friendship' is a relationship of mutual affection between 2 people (as in the case of marriage). In marriage, allies are formed in struggle or hustle, sickness and in health. But what do we have these days? At the slightest discomfort or conflict, someone is packing bags and baggages and bailing out. No one is ready to share anybody's 'hustle' or 'struggle' and then you say it's marriage?
In friendship, communication should be easy. Nobody looks down on the other person, like a Lord and master kind of thing. Age, language, money can't even get in the way.
Friendship allows you both to enjoy each others company even when the romance isn't there at that point in time.
There is no big deal in sharing stuff in friendship, even your fart!!...Oops, I said it!
Friendship is doing favours for each other, even when this time it's a real big deal!
Not staying angry at each other for so long defines true friendship.
I know you are thinking, "You are mentioning friendship too much in every sentence"...Yeah, I need to get it straight into your head that friendship is the true foundation of marriage.
Friendship in marriage shouldn't be restrictive or constrictive. It shouldn't stop you guys from living your individual lives. You should have your friends and him, his. In other words, you should accommodate each other's friends.
Marriage shouldn't always be about sex but just plain hanging out like a brother-sister kinda thing...with arguments and conflicts here and there.
Marriage is about having fun with and in your lives!
So, what do you think?...Are you ready for the ride?! Leggo!
UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS IN MARRIAGE
The only thing that kinda bothers me, wifey, are the illusions delusions you have of marriage! The way I see it, if you continue to have those funny ideas of how 'perfect' your marriage or husband should be, you are gonna end up a frustrated mad black woman or possibly end up writing a 'Diary of a Mad Black Woman'!
If I start highlighting some examples of expectations you have, I will probably end up writing a book...naah, you wouldn't want that. So I'll just mention a few :
1. That you will wave your magic wand and change him. Change him to what exactly, if I may ask?! Are you a magician? *singing in Blackmagic's voice* You knew his 'bad' habits before you said "I do" and you chose to go ahead with the marriage. If you are lucky he drops those habits, it's because he chose to and not because of your nagging ways!
2. That your 'perfect' husband will never make mistakes. Sweetheart, please think again. No one is perfect except our Heavenly Father. Therefore, brace your selves, do not fall in love, hook, line and sinker...your expectations are building up! All I can plead with you is to be prepared to forgive!
3. That your marriage will never have rocky moments?! Please O!...you better wake up and smell the cappuccino! Believe me, there will be quarrels, arguments or fights that will threaten to tear the marriage apart...never lose hope or give up easily. Prayer is always the best way out.
4. That there won't be moments when you feel like 'the other woman'. Na so O, my darling sis. Your feelings for each other will definitely go through phases and be sure that it won't be like the way you guys started off! But, that ain't mean he doesn't love you.
5. That he will be at your beck and call?! No, sweetheart, don't get it twisted...you, will be at his beck and call. You, will tend and cater to his every needs and whims! You see, the joke will be on you eventually...Lol! He did his part when and while he was courting you...now it's your turn.
6. That his friends will disappear or his 'boys' night out' will come to an abrupt end because of what...marriage?! You gotta be kidding me here...it will, my dear, get 'worse'. You know why?...you are too busy, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning...at least that's what I hear them give as excuses!
Are you scared? Please don't be because we only got started! *Hehehe*
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